a modest proposal
7/11/09. It's free slurpee day at the 7-11. It also happens to be my wedding day.
Dear Cristin,
I promise that at/before my wedding, there will be
*no slurpees (no 7-11 in town, oh noes!)
*no skank, meth-head North Alabama strippers
*no one wearing anything that says "bride" or "groom"
*no dumbass games
*no one who thinks it's a good idea to seat you next to her cousin with the Kleenex fetish
*no sermonizing
*no color that anyone describes as "sea foam" or "puce"
*a personalized flask, in the event that the reception is dry, with my favorite gnome's name on it
*nothing to stuff, tie, or fold
*and perhaps most importantly, no one in this dress:
Will you please be a bridesmaid in my wedding?
Dear Cristin,
I promise that at/before my wedding, there will be
*no slurpees (no 7-11 in town, oh noes!)
*no skank, meth-head North Alabama strippers
*no one wearing anything that says "bride" or "groom"
*no dumbass games
*no one who thinks it's a good idea to seat you next to her cousin with the Kleenex fetish
*no sermonizing
*no color that anyone describes as "sea foam" or "puce"
*a personalized flask, in the event that the reception is dry, with my favorite gnome's name on it
*nothing to stuff, tie, or fold
*and perhaps most importantly, no one in this dress:
Will you please be a bridesmaid in my wedding?