Duality
I've just completed the Marine Corps Institutes' Staff NonCommissioned Officer Career Distance Education Program Series 8100 (and my Government homework). In this six volume series of workbooks, I found an almost overwhelming amount of information with regard to expectations of new Staff NCOs. Once I had put the final book down, words like "planning", "decision-making", "warfighter", "leadership" were ringing through my head. So many concepts having to do with fighting and winning wars through bloody lessons learned from battle, and also ideas generated academically from the minds of experienced leaders are relayed in those books that it's almost hard to think of oneself as being capable leader of Marines without constantly immersing oneself in the study and practice of warfare.
This type of thinking unfortunately seems to cause a type of dichotomy to occur within my mind that has left me feeling rather cold. It's almost as if gaining insight into ideas encompassed within the scope of warfare has helped me to gain that much more of an understanding of the absolute commitment needed for real success in this profession of arms. As I take that in though, I'm thinking that to be the type of person I want to be for myself and my family, and also for the Marine Corps is almost an impossibility. There are times when I really laugh when I think of words like -compassionate, loving family man, and aggressive, relentless, Marine Warfighter. The contrast seems abruptly amusing. In a sense, I lead a double life. In one, I despise the other for tearing me away from the love and peace in my home, and family. In the other during brief moments of acceptance of this life, I feel quite estranged from the other. The transitions are slow and painful from one half to the other -how I loath them. But from indifference to warmth takes no time at all. How I adore those moments. Smooth, relaxing transitions from where I am now to where I want to be.
Note to Self: Know this- you are doing fine and are currently living a good life.
Well that was real genuine. Alright, here's something to think about with regard to feelings as they may conflict with mission priorities and such -I need to keep mission focus. One must think rationally, make good decisions, and inspire Marines to renew their efforts. Sounds like an idea ripped right out of a text book doesn't it. Ha ha.
This type of thinking unfortunately seems to cause a type of dichotomy to occur within my mind that has left me feeling rather cold. It's almost as if gaining insight into ideas encompassed within the scope of warfare has helped me to gain that much more of an understanding of the absolute commitment needed for real success in this profession of arms. As I take that in though, I'm thinking that to be the type of person I want to be for myself and my family, and also for the Marine Corps is almost an impossibility. There are times when I really laugh when I think of words like -compassionate, loving family man, and aggressive, relentless, Marine Warfighter. The contrast seems abruptly amusing. In a sense, I lead a double life. In one, I despise the other for tearing me away from the love and peace in my home, and family. In the other during brief moments of acceptance of this life, I feel quite estranged from the other. The transitions are slow and painful from one half to the other -how I loath them. But from indifference to warmth takes no time at all. How I adore those moments. Smooth, relaxing transitions from where I am now to where I want to be.
Note to Self: Know this- you are doing fine and are currently living a good life.
Well that was real genuine. Alright, here's something to think about with regard to feelings as they may conflict with mission priorities and such -I need to keep mission focus. One must think rationally, make good decisions, and inspire Marines to renew their efforts. Sounds like an idea ripped right out of a text book doesn't it. Ha ha.