This Changes Nothing (Asric/Jadaar, PG-13)
Title: This Changes Nothing
Author: Alassenya
Fandom: World of Warcraft
Pairing: Asric / Jadaar
Rating: PG-13 (US) / M (Aus/UK) (for NC-17 version click here)
Genre: Snark, PWP (if you can have a PG-13 PWP)
Length: 4300
Warning: Slash (male/male), inter-species, cross-faction, alcohol, minimal swearing.
Disclaimer: World of Warcraft, Jadaar, Asric and most other characters mentioned herein belong to Blizzard Entertainment. No profit is being made from this story.
Beta:
sassywitch
Summary: After an investigation goes horribly wrong, Jadaar and Asric drown their sorrows at the World's End Tavern in Shattrath City. Developments ensue that neither of them would have predicted.
Author's note: In the absence of any canon information to the contrary, I am assuming that the usual male bits are in the usual places across all species.
This Changes Nothing
Asric headed for the World's End Tavern. It was dark inside, and it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust, but he welcomed the chance to sit in obscurity and work out what to do next. He made his way slowly towards the bar where Kylene, the barmaid, was busy polishing flagons and tankards.
"A flagon of your finest mead," Asric called out.
"One for me, as well," added Jadaar, close behind him.
Asric almost groaned. Couldn't he at least mourn the loss of his precious evidence in privacy?
Kylene nodded and produced two large mugs of foaming mead. "Thirty silvers."
Asric handed over fifteen. There was no way he was going to pay for Jadaar the Incompetent to drown his sorrows.
Jadaar brought out a small leather purse from the pocket of his robe and sorted through the coins until he found a ten and a five. "There," he said, handing them over.
"Thank you, gentlemen," Kylene said with a wry smile and returned to her task.
They drank in silence at first, each of them too angry and upset at the day's events to talk to each other. Sullenly, Asric wondered why he had made his way here in World's End Tavern, instead of heading to the Scryers' inn to drink in comfortable solitude, with no chance of being followed by an incompetent blue oaf who couldn't find his arse with a map and compass. Then he remembered ... the Scryers' inn was too close to the Investigators' building, which was the last place he wanted to be right now. No doubt Jadaar had the same problem with the Peacekeepers' abode. The further they stayed away from their superiors, the better, at least for the moment.
He sighed, and continued drinking.
A second flagon followed the first, each still sitting in silence. The minutes became an hour, and the tavern started to fill up as people finished work.
"Kylene, another mead here!" Jadaar called out, brandishing his empty mug.
"Make it two." Asric added, before slumping down on his seat again. He felt better than he had before they had started drinking, but the prospect of having to tell his superiors what had happened was still one that made him feel that a more alcohol was desirable. How could such a simple investigation have gone so horribly wrong?
He didn't realise he'd spoken that last thought aloud until Jadaar replied.
"It went quite well until you showed up." Jadaar took the drinks from Kylene and handed her a few silver coins.
"That's right, blame me."
"I do blame you, idiot that you are."
"I'm a veteran investigator! Experienced! Talented! Capable of great deeds."
"Hah." Jadaar's snort conveyed his contempt for Asric's supposed abilities. "That's why you were watching a lower city troll with a single tattered stall while your colleagues were investigating real crimes."
"I was ... taking advantage of a lull in criminal activities to investigate activities that had previously been given a lower priority. And besides," he added, "it's not like you were any better."
Jadaar coughed. "I was merely refreshing my field skills after many years in research."
"And why were you stuck in research for years? Because you were absolutely crap at fieldwork, that's why!"
"I was not! It wasn't my fault."
"It was so."
"I was the one who found the illegal artefact! All you had to do was hold on to it!"
"I didn't expect to be robbed!"
"Oh, and with all your experience you couldn't spot a pickpocket?"
"She didn't look like a pickpocket!"
"What did you expect? A sign around her neck and a bag marked LOOT?"
"It would have helped."
"She was a troll, Asric. A troll. One of Griftah's low-life associates. Did that not mean anything to you?"
"I can't go around arresting every troll in the city just because one of them is a fence!"
"You could at least have suspected something when she got close to you."
"I did suspect something! Only not ... well, not that," he trailed off, slightly embarrassed. The memory of exactly what her hand had been doing almost made him blush. It wasn't fair - no one could be expected to concentrate properly when a firm hand was inching its way towards his -
"What, then? Do people paw through your robes every day?"
"Yes, they do!"
"Liar."
"I can't help it if I'm attractive," he smirked. "But when people go exploring in my robes it's not generally some filthy artefact they're looking for."
"What?"
"Well, you know ..."
"Hah. I suppose you'd describe it as a treasure beyond price?"
"Yes, I damned well would! Not that you'll ever have the chance to find out."
Jadaar snorted. "I wouldn't want to!"
"Scared of a little sex, are you? That would explain a lot."
"I am not!" Jadaar advanced upon him and Asric was afraid for one moment that his colleague was going to punch him.
"Gentlemen!" Kylene intervened. "If you can't be civil to each other you can go outside. I'm not having the authorities close me down because my customers are too rowdy."
Asric took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Sorry, Kylene," he said, giving her a winning smile. It didn't make much of an impression, since she continued to glare at them both.
"I'm sorry," said Jadaar, abashed. "I don't know what came over me."
Asric coughed. "I can believe that," he muttered under his breath.
"Asric," Kylene warned.
"Oh all right, I'll behave," he pronounced, his tone aggrieved. He hated to sound like a spoilt child, but really, the draenei was the most irritating person he'd met in years. "As long as he will."
"I shall endeavour not to embarrass Mistress Kylene any further," Jadaar said, giving her a small bow.
"Good," she said, with a nod, and went off to serve another customer.
There was an awkward silence for a minute or two, each of them contemplating the disaster that their case had become.
"Well, I suppose we'd better work out exactly what we're going to tell the Sha'tar," Asric began, somewhat morosely. He wasn't keen on discussing it further, but the situation was bad enough already without the two of them telling different stories.
"Yes, I suppose so."
They spent the next hour going over the events of the afternoon, keeping the insults more or less under control and devising a story that bore a passing resemblance to what had happened and - purely by coincidence, of course - portrayed them both in a somewhat more heroic light than had actually been the case. By the time that evening came (well, what passed for evening in this forever benighted land) they had become almost congenial towards each other. Not that Kylene's excellent mead had anything to do with that.
At some point they had ordered a meal, and Kylene had collected the dirty plates from them when they had finished. Jadaar was amusing himself by watching the antics of the other patrons, some of whom were obviously unfamiliar with the drinks or the tragic lack of talent on the stage. Asric tried to screen out the patter - he could have told better jokes in his sleep. He was willing to bet that even Jadaar could tell better jokes, and that was saying something.
Asric yawned as the crowd inexplicably applauded the so-called comedian. "Well, I think I might head on back to my room."
There was no reply from Jadaar. He glanced over to the draenei, only to find that he wasn't looking at him at all. Two of the Aldor guards had wandered in on their rounds, a male and a female. Jadaar raised a hand in greeting, but they ignored him and walked out.
Jadaar looked stunned, and then embarrassed. He turned around and looked determinedly at his drink.
"Do you know them?" Asric asked in a low voice.
"Of course I know them. I know all the draenei in Shattrath." He sounded sad and looked defeated, no longer trying to project an air of invincibility.
"It seems the news about this afternoon's little episode has got around."
Jadaar nodded.
Asric considered the implication of that, and groaned. "By the Light, if it's bad for you it's going to be worse for me." Scathing reprimands from his superiors he could take, but social ostracism from his peers - those that had still been speaking to him, anyway - would be harder to endure.
"Why worse for you?"
"Erm ... well, to be perfectly truthful, my recent cases haven’t met with the success rate I'm used to. Just a temporary setback, I'm sure, but it does make the collapse of this present case rather ... tricky. Right now. At the moment."
"You too?"
"Eh?"
"You were right. I'm no good at investigations. I can find clues and traces in documents, but people ... people who aren't draenei confuse me. They're just not logical."
Asric laughed, but not unkindly. "Very true." He'd discovered that a long, long time ago. He got on all right with his own race, but sometimes the others were just ... alien.
"And Mal'suun ... she is so beautiful, and she's always talking about the cases she sees down here in the lower city. She loves her work. I thought that if I could solve a couple of cases of my own it would give us something to talk about, a starting point for other things." He sighed. "Now ... it looks like I'll never get the chance."
"Women are strange."
"Yours, too?"
"Everyone's," Asric said, with heavy emphasis. "It is perhaps the one thing that unites all the races on Azeroth - and Draenor. Women are different and men cannot ever hope to understand them."
"I understood my sister, most of the time."
"Sisters don't count."
"I miss her." Jadaar's voice was low and sad.
"What happened?"
"She died, at the time of the Portals. At least ... I hope she died."
Asric nodded sympathetically; he knew exactly what Jadaar meant. The Broken Ones were bad enough (and it hadn't escaped Asric's notice that Jadaar avoided Shaarubo as much as possible) but worse were the Lost Ones: deformed and crippled beyond recognition; divorced from the Light; little better than beasts. Yes, there were definitely worse things in life than dying outright.
"Both our races have suffered greatly in this war," he said, in a tone more gentle than ever he would have expected to use toward a draenei.
"They have."
"We need more drinks," Asric decided, and called to Kylene, who obliged them a minute later with fresh foaming tankards. This time he paid for them both.
"To our health, since no one else will toast us in the foreseeable future." He lifted his tankard in salute.
"To our health," repeated Jadaar, matching the salute and then drinking deeply. "So, do you have a partner to go home to?"
"No," Asric sighed. "Long hours, low pay, talking to criminals most of the day ... with my prospects I couldn’t even get a joyboy, let alone a wife."
"Joyboy?"
"You know, companion for pleasure."
"Erm ... boy?"
"Why not? It's not as if I am in any position to start a family."
Jadaar looked a little confused. "I didn't know that sin'dorei ... though I suppose I should have expected it."
"Being as depraved, licentious and wicked as we are?" asked Asric, his voice dry with sardonic amusement.
Jadaar had the grace to look a little abashed. "Well, yes, more or less."
Asric laughed. He always enjoyed unsettling people, and draenei were almost too easy. "Does it bother you?"
"Not particularly."
"Well it's good to know that you aren't quite as boring and conventional as I had thought."
"It is not unknown between draenei ... not common, but not unknown."
"Really?" That was news to Asric. He'd just about given up on draenei, having failed - sorry, met with less than perfect success - on several occasions in his attempts to seduce them.
"We do not advertise our relationships as you shorter-lived creatures do."
"Sin'dorei are hardly short-lived. Perhaps you are confusing us with trolls ... or humans."
Jadaar gave a slight shudder. "I find some of our Allies difficult to understand."
"I hear they are good fighters."
"Perhaps, but they are so impetuous! They never stop to think, to plan, to assess the situation thoroughly."
"They only live a few decades. Time is short for them, so they try to cram in as much as they can before they die."
"I suppose so, but it is irritating, all the same. Everything has to be done immediately - they never take the long view."
"Of course not. How can one accumulate wisdom and patience in such a short time? No wonder they are always making mistakes."
"It's a wonder that they manage to get anything accomplished at all. Well, besides fornicating. They seem to think of nothing else."
"Oh, I don't know. Though they certainly do think of sex a lot." Asric smiled as he remembered some of his more adventurous undertakings. "They can be surprisingly inventive you know ... er, in many ways. Even if they are rather hairy. And the males are quite well-endowed."
Jadaar stared at him. "You've been with a human? A human male?"
Asric shrugged. "One does what one must for information. And humans find us very attractive, you know."
There was a long pause, before Jadaar asked, "What was he like?"
Asric felt his breath catch. Jadaar was interested in sex ... sex with males. In an instant he was caught up in thrill of the hunt - and no matter that this was Jadaar, probably the most boring draenei in the entire city - he was on the chase again, and that meant the chance to use his skills of seduction; skills that were second to none in Outland, even if he did say so himself. He gave Jadaar a sly, knowing smile, and said, "Vigorous. Very ... vigorous."
There was an even longer pause. "Vigorous is ... good."
Asric sipped his beer, and waited. He loved having this power over people. It was a better thrill even than bloodthistle; as good as chasing down a criminal; almost as good as sex itself.
"So how ...?"
"Do you want an explanation ... or a demonstration?"
Jadaar went blue with embarrassment. Asric pressed his advantage. "It wouldn't take long to show you," he added, his voice low and almost purring.
Jadaar hesitated. "It might be ... useful to know what it's like."
"Useful?"
"Only for information, you understand. In case someone tries to seduce me in the future."
Asric smirked. "Oh, of course. Because the Light forbid trying something you might actually enjoy." He finished his drink and stood up, steadying himself against the bar when the room lurched suddenly. "You can justify it however you want, Jadaar. The only thing that matters is that I'm the hottest thing in this city and in a few minutes' time you're going to be whimpering with pleasure."
Jadaar's face was by now a fierce blue, but he set down his empty mug and stood up in turn. "You think you can make me whimper?" he asked, drawing himself up to his full height and looking down at Asric.
Asric refused to let himself be intimidated. "I know I can." He looked up at Jadaar - why did all the draenei have to be so unnecessarily tall? - and then turned away. "Kylene! A room for the night, if you please."
"Ten gold. In advance," she replied promptly.
"Ten gold? What do you think I am, made of money?"
"No, I think you're full of -"
"Please! Let's keep things amicable, at least."
"Ten gold, in advance. And that's as amicable as I'm going to get."
Asric fished out some coins from his pocket. It was hard to tell the difference between gold and silver in the lamplight and some of the coins seemed to be dancing in his hand. Or maybe his eyes were dancing. "I have ... not sure how much I have."
Jadaar pulled out his purse and started to fumble with his coins. "Nor I."
"Oh, for the Light's sake, you two," she grumbled. She took a five-gold coin from Jadaar and two one-golds and some silvers from Asric. "There. Ten gold. Third room on the right."
Asric started down the corridor but then remembered something important. "You go ahead," he told Jadaar, "I'll be back in a second." He returned to the bar and looked sheepishly at her. "Umm ... Kylene," he began, "I don't suppose, by any chance ...?"
"No. But there's a trader outside to the left who'll have what you need."
Asric nodded his thanks and quickly went to the stall. He was back in a few minutes, joining Jadaar in the small room.
"What's that?" asked Jadaar.
"Lubricant." He handed over a small jar of ointment.
Jadaar opened it and sniffed cautiously. "What's in it?"
"Do you really want to know?"
Jadaar sighed. "Not really. It's probably on the forbidden list anyway."
Asric smirked. "Actually no, it's just various oils and a few herbs to give it scent. No bloodthistle, no felweed, not even a stamina boost." Well, not according to the trader, anyway ... but then whoever heard of a trader who was completely honest? As long as the damned stuff wasn't actually poisoned, Asric didn't really care what else was in it.
"You think I need more stamina? We draenei are strong, you know. Stronger than sin'dorei."
Asric laughed. "Strong in the shoulders is not the same as strong where it counts."
"Where it counts? Hah. I'm sure I have more stamina than you."
"You want to make a small bet on that?"
"How small a bet?"
"Say ... ten gold?"
"And the terms?"
"That I'll still be able to get it up when you can't."
Jadaar considered. Ten gold was a substantial amount of money to put on a wager, but ... well, masculine pride was involved. Economy and common sense didn’t stand a chance. "I accept, little elf."
"Not so little, either."
"That is yet to be determined."
They each stripped off their clothing and stood facing each other.
"Why are you smiling?" asked Jadaar. "Do you find me ridiculous?"
"Not at all," Asric hurried to reassure him. "I'm pleased to see that you are ... hmm, well-proportioned. Large, even."
"You think so? Most of my people call me short."
Asric smirked. "It wasn't your height I was looking at."
Asric was no novice when it came to the arts of love, and within a few minutes he heard Jadaar give a sound that could only be classed as a whimper. "Told you," he said, completely unable to keep the smirk off his face.
"Told me what?"
"That I'd have you whimpering."
"That was not a whimper," Jadaar said, firmly. Well, as firmly as he could, given what Asric was doing to him.
"No?"
"No."
"What was it then?"
Jadaar coughed. "Merely an involuntary intake of breath."
"You can call it that if you want. We both know it was a whimper."
"Was no- ... oh ... ooohhh," Jadaar's voice trailed off as Asric set to work with determination.
* * *
Asric awoke, many hours later, to find - to his mild annoyance - that he was lying snug in the embrace of a pair of large blue arms, with his back against an even larger blue chest. Jadaar, it appeared, was a cuddler. Who would have guessed?
He extracted himself slowly and carefully from his fleshy cage and stood up. He stifled a grimace as he moved - he was stiff and aching from the unaccustomed exertion - and decided he was going to have to have a bath before leaving the tavern. A long, hot soak with scented oils would be a wonderfully sybaritic start to the day ... or, rather, a fitting end to the long night. He started some stretches, trying to ease the aches in his muscles and joints.
He felt exhausted and drained. It had been a marathon of sex, such as he had not experienced in decades. He had to give the blue-skinned oaf his due, he did have a lot of stamina. He was going to be feeling the after-effects for three days at least.
As if he had heard Asric's thoughts, Jadaar snuffled, rolled over and woke up, dragging himself slowly to a sitting position. He groaned.
"Good morning," said Asric, amicably.
"Mmm," Jadaar looked a bit hung-over and a fair bit confused. He looked at Asric, who was standing at the foot of the bed, and went pale. "Oh."
"Yes, we had sex and life will never be the same." Asric forestalled any protestation of wounded innocence. "I am evil incarnate and you will never speak to me again."
"Wouldn't go that far," Jadaar mumbled. "Just ... unexpected."
Unexpected was the word. Asric raised an eyebrow. "Still speaking to me, then?"
"Why not?"
"Well ..."
"Do sin'dorei only mate then once and then ignore each other?"
"No, it's just that ... well, sometimes people aren't quite as happy to remember what they did as they were to do it at the time." Asric shrugged.
"Ah. Poor logic. You didn't drug me, or coerce me: I have no one to blame but myself."
Asric raised an eyebrow. It appeared that the over-developed sense of responsibility that he decried in the draenei extended to responsibility for their own actions ... it was a refreshing attitude, one it would be interesting to pursue further, sometime. Right now, however, there were other things to consider. "We have to get dressed and vacate the room."
"I know, I know. Ugh, I'm sticky. I need a bath. And something to eat."
Asric's stomach rumbled, right on cue. "Breakfast, definitely."
Jadaar reached out for his eyepatch on the side table, and knocked the jar of lubricant off.
"Idiot, if you make a mess Kylene will charge us to have the rug cleaned."
Jadaar shook his head. "No mess. The jar was empty."
"What?" Empty? That couldn't be right.
Silently, Jadaar picked up the jar and handed it to Asric. It was indeed empty.
"But how can that be? It was a brand new jar!"
Jadaar lay back on the bed and put his hands behind his head. "We used a lot."
Asric considered that for a minute. His fingers twitched and his lips moved silently.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh. Counting." He continued for a minute longer, then shrugged and threw the pot into the corner.
"So?"
"As far as I can work out ... we managed eleven times in one night."
"That many?"
"Well, I think so. After the first six they start to get a bit jumbled in my memory."
"So who won the bet?"
Asric thought back. Much as he would have liked to claim the money, he had to admit that Jadaar had matched him time after time, until they had both collapsed in sheer exhaustion. "Perhaps we should call it a draw."
"Perhaps ..." Jadaar seemed a little hesitant, and fixed his gaze on the crumpled sheets, "... or maybe just the first round, hmm?"
Asric laughed out loud. "Maybe." To be truthful, he wouldn't object to more nights like that - the sex had been hard and fast and energetic, just the way he liked it. It was a pity that it came inextricably attached to Jadaar the bumbling idiot, but maybe he could put up with that ... in small doses. It wasn't as if he had to live with the oaf, after all.
"You bit my tendrils," said Jadaar, gently prodding a bruised one.
"You asked me to."
"I did?" He thought back. "Hmm, maybe I did."
"And you enjoyed it at the time."
Jadaar nodded, reluctantly. "This is true." He shifted around, obviously trying to find a more comfortable position. "I am very sore. All over. And especially under my tail."
Asric moved slightly. "Me too. Well, not under the tail, obviously, but ... well, yes." He absent-mindedly rubbed a nipple. He definitely remembered Jadaar biting him - and very good it had felt at the time, too - but now it was swollen and tender and perhaps it would be better to take things easy today. His ears were a bit sore too, now that he came to think of it.
Jadaar tilted his head and gave Asric a quizzical look. "Maybe now that we don't have so much to prove to each other we can ration ourselves to perhaps two or three times a night."
Asric considered that for a moment. Three or four times a day would be quite tolerable. "Agreed. Unless it is a special occasion, perhaps."
"Indeed."
"Perhaps four or five would be manageable then."
"I think so. Maybe even six."
"Six or seven would be perfectly acceptable if we don't have to work the next day."
"That's assuming we still have work." Jadaar pointed out.
"Ah, yes." Asric sobered immediately. "We'd better go and bathe, and then report to the Sha'tar."
"We had."
They limped down the corridor towards the bathroom.
"This changes nothing between us, you know," Jadaar pointed out.
"I never thought it would."
"Good. Just so we both understand that."
"You're still a pompous windbag."
"And you are still a self-centred, preening brat."
"I guess this means you won't be scrubbing my back for me?"
"You are correct."
Asric sighed. Draenei were far too stubborn ... but that just made the eventual conquest a little sweeter.
This entry was originally posted at http://alassenya.dreamwidth.org/86468.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Author: Alassenya
Fandom: World of Warcraft
Pairing: Asric / Jadaar
Rating: PG-13 (US) / M (Aus/UK) (for NC-17 version click here)
Genre: Snark, PWP (if you can have a PG-13 PWP)
Length: 4300
Warning: Slash (male/male), inter-species, cross-faction, alcohol, minimal swearing.
Disclaimer: World of Warcraft, Jadaar, Asric and most other characters mentioned herein belong to Blizzard Entertainment. No profit is being made from this story.
Beta:
sassywitch
Summary: After an investigation goes horribly wrong, Jadaar and Asric drown their sorrows at the World's End Tavern in Shattrath City. Developments ensue that neither of them would have predicted.
Author's note: In the absence of any canon information to the contrary, I am assuming that the usual male bits are in the usual places across all species.
This Changes Nothing
Asric headed for the World's End Tavern. It was dark inside, and it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust, but he welcomed the chance to sit in obscurity and work out what to do next. He made his way slowly towards the bar where Kylene, the barmaid, was busy polishing flagons and tankards.
"A flagon of your finest mead," Asric called out.
"One for me, as well," added Jadaar, close behind him.
Asric almost groaned. Couldn't he at least mourn the loss of his precious evidence in privacy?
Kylene nodded and produced two large mugs of foaming mead. "Thirty silvers."
Asric handed over fifteen. There was no way he was going to pay for Jadaar the Incompetent to drown his sorrows.
Jadaar brought out a small leather purse from the pocket of his robe and sorted through the coins until he found a ten and a five. "There," he said, handing them over.
"Thank you, gentlemen," Kylene said with a wry smile and returned to her task.
They drank in silence at first, each of them too angry and upset at the day's events to talk to each other. Sullenly, Asric wondered why he had made his way here in World's End Tavern, instead of heading to the Scryers' inn to drink in comfortable solitude, with no chance of being followed by an incompetent blue oaf who couldn't find his arse with a map and compass. Then he remembered ... the Scryers' inn was too close to the Investigators' building, which was the last place he wanted to be right now. No doubt Jadaar had the same problem with the Peacekeepers' abode. The further they stayed away from their superiors, the better, at least for the moment.
He sighed, and continued drinking.
A second flagon followed the first, each still sitting in silence. The minutes became an hour, and the tavern started to fill up as people finished work.
"Kylene, another mead here!" Jadaar called out, brandishing his empty mug.
"Make it two." Asric added, before slumping down on his seat again. He felt better than he had before they had started drinking, but the prospect of having to tell his superiors what had happened was still one that made him feel that a more alcohol was desirable. How could such a simple investigation have gone so horribly wrong?
He didn't realise he'd spoken that last thought aloud until Jadaar replied.
"It went quite well until you showed up." Jadaar took the drinks from Kylene and handed her a few silver coins.
"That's right, blame me."
"I do blame you, idiot that you are."
"I'm a veteran investigator! Experienced! Talented! Capable of great deeds."
"Hah." Jadaar's snort conveyed his contempt for Asric's supposed abilities. "That's why you were watching a lower city troll with a single tattered stall while your colleagues were investigating real crimes."
"I was ... taking advantage of a lull in criminal activities to investigate activities that had previously been given a lower priority. And besides," he added, "it's not like you were any better."
Jadaar coughed. "I was merely refreshing my field skills after many years in research."
"And why were you stuck in research for years? Because you were absolutely crap at fieldwork, that's why!"
"I was not! It wasn't my fault."
"It was so."
"I was the one who found the illegal artefact! All you had to do was hold on to it!"
"I didn't expect to be robbed!"
"Oh, and with all your experience you couldn't spot a pickpocket?"
"She didn't look like a pickpocket!"
"What did you expect? A sign around her neck and a bag marked LOOT?"
"It would have helped."
"She was a troll, Asric. A troll. One of Griftah's low-life associates. Did that not mean anything to you?"
"I can't go around arresting every troll in the city just because one of them is a fence!"
"You could at least have suspected something when she got close to you."
"I did suspect something! Only not ... well, not that," he trailed off, slightly embarrassed. The memory of exactly what her hand had been doing almost made him blush. It wasn't fair - no one could be expected to concentrate properly when a firm hand was inching its way towards his -
"What, then? Do people paw through your robes every day?"
"Yes, they do!"
"Liar."
"I can't help it if I'm attractive," he smirked. "But when people go exploring in my robes it's not generally some filthy artefact they're looking for."
"What?"
"Well, you know ..."
"Hah. I suppose you'd describe it as a treasure beyond price?"
"Yes, I damned well would! Not that you'll ever have the chance to find out."
Jadaar snorted. "I wouldn't want to!"
"Scared of a little sex, are you? That would explain a lot."
"I am not!" Jadaar advanced upon him and Asric was afraid for one moment that his colleague was going to punch him.
"Gentlemen!" Kylene intervened. "If you can't be civil to each other you can go outside. I'm not having the authorities close me down because my customers are too rowdy."
Asric took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Sorry, Kylene," he said, giving her a winning smile. It didn't make much of an impression, since she continued to glare at them both.
"I'm sorry," said Jadaar, abashed. "I don't know what came over me."
Asric coughed. "I can believe that," he muttered under his breath.
"Asric," Kylene warned.
"Oh all right, I'll behave," he pronounced, his tone aggrieved. He hated to sound like a spoilt child, but really, the draenei was the most irritating person he'd met in years. "As long as he will."
"I shall endeavour not to embarrass Mistress Kylene any further," Jadaar said, giving her a small bow.
"Good," she said, with a nod, and went off to serve another customer.
There was an awkward silence for a minute or two, each of them contemplating the disaster that their case had become.
"Well, I suppose we'd better work out exactly what we're going to tell the Sha'tar," Asric began, somewhat morosely. He wasn't keen on discussing it further, but the situation was bad enough already without the two of them telling different stories.
"Yes, I suppose so."
They spent the next hour going over the events of the afternoon, keeping the insults more or less under control and devising a story that bore a passing resemblance to what had happened and - purely by coincidence, of course - portrayed them both in a somewhat more heroic light than had actually been the case. By the time that evening came (well, what passed for evening in this forever benighted land) they had become almost congenial towards each other. Not that Kylene's excellent mead had anything to do with that.
At some point they had ordered a meal, and Kylene had collected the dirty plates from them when they had finished. Jadaar was amusing himself by watching the antics of the other patrons, some of whom were obviously unfamiliar with the drinks or the tragic lack of talent on the stage. Asric tried to screen out the patter - he could have told better jokes in his sleep. He was willing to bet that even Jadaar could tell better jokes, and that was saying something.
Asric yawned as the crowd inexplicably applauded the so-called comedian. "Well, I think I might head on back to my room."
There was no reply from Jadaar. He glanced over to the draenei, only to find that he wasn't looking at him at all. Two of the Aldor guards had wandered in on their rounds, a male and a female. Jadaar raised a hand in greeting, but they ignored him and walked out.
Jadaar looked stunned, and then embarrassed. He turned around and looked determinedly at his drink.
"Do you know them?" Asric asked in a low voice.
"Of course I know them. I know all the draenei in Shattrath." He sounded sad and looked defeated, no longer trying to project an air of invincibility.
"It seems the news about this afternoon's little episode has got around."
Jadaar nodded.
Asric considered the implication of that, and groaned. "By the Light, if it's bad for you it's going to be worse for me." Scathing reprimands from his superiors he could take, but social ostracism from his peers - those that had still been speaking to him, anyway - would be harder to endure.
"Why worse for you?"
"Erm ... well, to be perfectly truthful, my recent cases haven’t met with the success rate I'm used to. Just a temporary setback, I'm sure, but it does make the collapse of this present case rather ... tricky. Right now. At the moment."
"You too?"
"Eh?"
"You were right. I'm no good at investigations. I can find clues and traces in documents, but people ... people who aren't draenei confuse me. They're just not logical."
Asric laughed, but not unkindly. "Very true." He'd discovered that a long, long time ago. He got on all right with his own race, but sometimes the others were just ... alien.
"And Mal'suun ... she is so beautiful, and she's always talking about the cases she sees down here in the lower city. She loves her work. I thought that if I could solve a couple of cases of my own it would give us something to talk about, a starting point for other things." He sighed. "Now ... it looks like I'll never get the chance."
"Women are strange."
"Yours, too?"
"Everyone's," Asric said, with heavy emphasis. "It is perhaps the one thing that unites all the races on Azeroth - and Draenor. Women are different and men cannot ever hope to understand them."
"I understood my sister, most of the time."
"Sisters don't count."
"I miss her." Jadaar's voice was low and sad.
"What happened?"
"She died, at the time of the Portals. At least ... I hope she died."
Asric nodded sympathetically; he knew exactly what Jadaar meant. The Broken Ones were bad enough (and it hadn't escaped Asric's notice that Jadaar avoided Shaarubo as much as possible) but worse were the Lost Ones: deformed and crippled beyond recognition; divorced from the Light; little better than beasts. Yes, there were definitely worse things in life than dying outright.
"Both our races have suffered greatly in this war," he said, in a tone more gentle than ever he would have expected to use toward a draenei.
"They have."
"We need more drinks," Asric decided, and called to Kylene, who obliged them a minute later with fresh foaming tankards. This time he paid for them both.
"To our health, since no one else will toast us in the foreseeable future." He lifted his tankard in salute.
"To our health," repeated Jadaar, matching the salute and then drinking deeply. "So, do you have a partner to go home to?"
"No," Asric sighed. "Long hours, low pay, talking to criminals most of the day ... with my prospects I couldn’t even get a joyboy, let alone a wife."
"Joyboy?"
"You know, companion for pleasure."
"Erm ... boy?"
"Why not? It's not as if I am in any position to start a family."
Jadaar looked a little confused. "I didn't know that sin'dorei ... though I suppose I should have expected it."
"Being as depraved, licentious and wicked as we are?" asked Asric, his voice dry with sardonic amusement.
Jadaar had the grace to look a little abashed. "Well, yes, more or less."
Asric laughed. He always enjoyed unsettling people, and draenei were almost too easy. "Does it bother you?"
"Not particularly."
"Well it's good to know that you aren't quite as boring and conventional as I had thought."
"It is not unknown between draenei ... not common, but not unknown."
"Really?" That was news to Asric. He'd just about given up on draenei, having failed - sorry, met with less than perfect success - on several occasions in his attempts to seduce them.
"We do not advertise our relationships as you shorter-lived creatures do."
"Sin'dorei are hardly short-lived. Perhaps you are confusing us with trolls ... or humans."
Jadaar gave a slight shudder. "I find some of our Allies difficult to understand."
"I hear they are good fighters."
"Perhaps, but they are so impetuous! They never stop to think, to plan, to assess the situation thoroughly."
"They only live a few decades. Time is short for them, so they try to cram in as much as they can before they die."
"I suppose so, but it is irritating, all the same. Everything has to be done immediately - they never take the long view."
"Of course not. How can one accumulate wisdom and patience in such a short time? No wonder they are always making mistakes."
"It's a wonder that they manage to get anything accomplished at all. Well, besides fornicating. They seem to think of nothing else."
"Oh, I don't know. Though they certainly do think of sex a lot." Asric smiled as he remembered some of his more adventurous undertakings. "They can be surprisingly inventive you know ... er, in many ways. Even if they are rather hairy. And the males are quite well-endowed."
Jadaar stared at him. "You've been with a human? A human male?"
Asric shrugged. "One does what one must for information. And humans find us very attractive, you know."
There was a long pause, before Jadaar asked, "What was he like?"
Asric felt his breath catch. Jadaar was interested in sex ... sex with males. In an instant he was caught up in thrill of the hunt - and no matter that this was Jadaar, probably the most boring draenei in the entire city - he was on the chase again, and that meant the chance to use his skills of seduction; skills that were second to none in Outland, even if he did say so himself. He gave Jadaar a sly, knowing smile, and said, "Vigorous. Very ... vigorous."
There was an even longer pause. "Vigorous is ... good."
Asric sipped his beer, and waited. He loved having this power over people. It was a better thrill even than bloodthistle; as good as chasing down a criminal; almost as good as sex itself.
"So how ...?"
"Do you want an explanation ... or a demonstration?"
Jadaar went blue with embarrassment. Asric pressed his advantage. "It wouldn't take long to show you," he added, his voice low and almost purring.
Jadaar hesitated. "It might be ... useful to know what it's like."
"Useful?"
"Only for information, you understand. In case someone tries to seduce me in the future."
Asric smirked. "Oh, of course. Because the Light forbid trying something you might actually enjoy." He finished his drink and stood up, steadying himself against the bar when the room lurched suddenly. "You can justify it however you want, Jadaar. The only thing that matters is that I'm the hottest thing in this city and in a few minutes' time you're going to be whimpering with pleasure."
Jadaar's face was by now a fierce blue, but he set down his empty mug and stood up in turn. "You think you can make me whimper?" he asked, drawing himself up to his full height and looking down at Asric.
Asric refused to let himself be intimidated. "I know I can." He looked up at Jadaar - why did all the draenei have to be so unnecessarily tall? - and then turned away. "Kylene! A room for the night, if you please."
"Ten gold. In advance," she replied promptly.
"Ten gold? What do you think I am, made of money?"
"No, I think you're full of -"
"Please! Let's keep things amicable, at least."
"Ten gold, in advance. And that's as amicable as I'm going to get."
Asric fished out some coins from his pocket. It was hard to tell the difference between gold and silver in the lamplight and some of the coins seemed to be dancing in his hand. Or maybe his eyes were dancing. "I have ... not sure how much I have."
Jadaar pulled out his purse and started to fumble with his coins. "Nor I."
"Oh, for the Light's sake, you two," she grumbled. She took a five-gold coin from Jadaar and two one-golds and some silvers from Asric. "There. Ten gold. Third room on the right."
Asric started down the corridor but then remembered something important. "You go ahead," he told Jadaar, "I'll be back in a second." He returned to the bar and looked sheepishly at her. "Umm ... Kylene," he began, "I don't suppose, by any chance ...?"
"No. But there's a trader outside to the left who'll have what you need."
Asric nodded his thanks and quickly went to the stall. He was back in a few minutes, joining Jadaar in the small room.
"What's that?" asked Jadaar.
"Lubricant." He handed over a small jar of ointment.
Jadaar opened it and sniffed cautiously. "What's in it?"
"Do you really want to know?"
Jadaar sighed. "Not really. It's probably on the forbidden list anyway."
Asric smirked. "Actually no, it's just various oils and a few herbs to give it scent. No bloodthistle, no felweed, not even a stamina boost." Well, not according to the trader, anyway ... but then whoever heard of a trader who was completely honest? As long as the damned stuff wasn't actually poisoned, Asric didn't really care what else was in it.
"You think I need more stamina? We draenei are strong, you know. Stronger than sin'dorei."
Asric laughed. "Strong in the shoulders is not the same as strong where it counts."
"Where it counts? Hah. I'm sure I have more stamina than you."
"You want to make a small bet on that?"
"How small a bet?"
"Say ... ten gold?"
"And the terms?"
"That I'll still be able to get it up when you can't."
Jadaar considered. Ten gold was a substantial amount of money to put on a wager, but ... well, masculine pride was involved. Economy and common sense didn’t stand a chance. "I accept, little elf."
"Not so little, either."
"That is yet to be determined."
They each stripped off their clothing and stood facing each other.
"Why are you smiling?" asked Jadaar. "Do you find me ridiculous?"
"Not at all," Asric hurried to reassure him. "I'm pleased to see that you are ... hmm, well-proportioned. Large, even."
"You think so? Most of my people call me short."
Asric smirked. "It wasn't your height I was looking at."
Asric was no novice when it came to the arts of love, and within a few minutes he heard Jadaar give a sound that could only be classed as a whimper. "Told you," he said, completely unable to keep the smirk off his face.
"Told me what?"
"That I'd have you whimpering."
"That was not a whimper," Jadaar said, firmly. Well, as firmly as he could, given what Asric was doing to him.
"No?"
"No."
"What was it then?"
Jadaar coughed. "Merely an involuntary intake of breath."
"You can call it that if you want. We both know it was a whimper."
"Was no- ... oh ... ooohhh," Jadaar's voice trailed off as Asric set to work with determination.
* * *
Asric awoke, many hours later, to find - to his mild annoyance - that he was lying snug in the embrace of a pair of large blue arms, with his back against an even larger blue chest. Jadaar, it appeared, was a cuddler. Who would have guessed?
He extracted himself slowly and carefully from his fleshy cage and stood up. He stifled a grimace as he moved - he was stiff and aching from the unaccustomed exertion - and decided he was going to have to have a bath before leaving the tavern. A long, hot soak with scented oils would be a wonderfully sybaritic start to the day ... or, rather, a fitting end to the long night. He started some stretches, trying to ease the aches in his muscles and joints.
He felt exhausted and drained. It had been a marathon of sex, such as he had not experienced in decades. He had to give the blue-skinned oaf his due, he did have a lot of stamina. He was going to be feeling the after-effects for three days at least.
As if he had heard Asric's thoughts, Jadaar snuffled, rolled over and woke up, dragging himself slowly to a sitting position. He groaned.
"Good morning," said Asric, amicably.
"Mmm," Jadaar looked a bit hung-over and a fair bit confused. He looked at Asric, who was standing at the foot of the bed, and went pale. "Oh."
"Yes, we had sex and life will never be the same." Asric forestalled any protestation of wounded innocence. "I am evil incarnate and you will never speak to me again."
"Wouldn't go that far," Jadaar mumbled. "Just ... unexpected."
Unexpected was the word. Asric raised an eyebrow. "Still speaking to me, then?"
"Why not?"
"Well ..."
"Do sin'dorei only mate then once and then ignore each other?"
"No, it's just that ... well, sometimes people aren't quite as happy to remember what they did as they were to do it at the time." Asric shrugged.
"Ah. Poor logic. You didn't drug me, or coerce me: I have no one to blame but myself."
Asric raised an eyebrow. It appeared that the over-developed sense of responsibility that he decried in the draenei extended to responsibility for their own actions ... it was a refreshing attitude, one it would be interesting to pursue further, sometime. Right now, however, there were other things to consider. "We have to get dressed and vacate the room."
"I know, I know. Ugh, I'm sticky. I need a bath. And something to eat."
Asric's stomach rumbled, right on cue. "Breakfast, definitely."
Jadaar reached out for his eyepatch on the side table, and knocked the jar of lubricant off.
"Idiot, if you make a mess Kylene will charge us to have the rug cleaned."
Jadaar shook his head. "No mess. The jar was empty."
"What?" Empty? That couldn't be right.
Silently, Jadaar picked up the jar and handed it to Asric. It was indeed empty.
"But how can that be? It was a brand new jar!"
Jadaar lay back on the bed and put his hands behind his head. "We used a lot."
Asric considered that for a minute. His fingers twitched and his lips moved silently.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh. Counting." He continued for a minute longer, then shrugged and threw the pot into the corner.
"So?"
"As far as I can work out ... we managed eleven times in one night."
"That many?"
"Well, I think so. After the first six they start to get a bit jumbled in my memory."
"So who won the bet?"
Asric thought back. Much as he would have liked to claim the money, he had to admit that Jadaar had matched him time after time, until they had both collapsed in sheer exhaustion. "Perhaps we should call it a draw."
"Perhaps ..." Jadaar seemed a little hesitant, and fixed his gaze on the crumpled sheets, "... or maybe just the first round, hmm?"
Asric laughed out loud. "Maybe." To be truthful, he wouldn't object to more nights like that - the sex had been hard and fast and energetic, just the way he liked it. It was a pity that it came inextricably attached to Jadaar the bumbling idiot, but maybe he could put up with that ... in small doses. It wasn't as if he had to live with the oaf, after all.
"You bit my tendrils," said Jadaar, gently prodding a bruised one.
"You asked me to."
"I did?" He thought back. "Hmm, maybe I did."
"And you enjoyed it at the time."
Jadaar nodded, reluctantly. "This is true." He shifted around, obviously trying to find a more comfortable position. "I am very sore. All over. And especially under my tail."
Asric moved slightly. "Me too. Well, not under the tail, obviously, but ... well, yes." He absent-mindedly rubbed a nipple. He definitely remembered Jadaar biting him - and very good it had felt at the time, too - but now it was swollen and tender and perhaps it would be better to take things easy today. His ears were a bit sore too, now that he came to think of it.
Jadaar tilted his head and gave Asric a quizzical look. "Maybe now that we don't have so much to prove to each other we can ration ourselves to perhaps two or three times a night."
Asric considered that for a moment. Three or four times a day would be quite tolerable. "Agreed. Unless it is a special occasion, perhaps."
"Indeed."
"Perhaps four or five would be manageable then."
"I think so. Maybe even six."
"Six or seven would be perfectly acceptable if we don't have to work the next day."
"That's assuming we still have work." Jadaar pointed out.
"Ah, yes." Asric sobered immediately. "We'd better go and bathe, and then report to the Sha'tar."
"We had."
They limped down the corridor towards the bathroom.
"This changes nothing between us, you know," Jadaar pointed out.
"I never thought it would."
"Good. Just so we both understand that."
"You're still a pompous windbag."
"And you are still a self-centred, preening brat."
"I guess this means you won't be scrubbing my back for me?"
"You are correct."
Asric sighed. Draenei were far too stubborn ... but that just made the eventual conquest a little sweeter.
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