[email log] [opposite plot] baby, that's one queer steer
Summary: Warrick wakes up gay. But there's no happy snuggling we're not gay we just love each other ending in store for him. At least not until his man-meat likes the lady-fingers again.
Uh-uh, shut up, something is so not right here. My man-meat's poked between two hot buns, but oh my god, get out, those are not -
"Ew!" I shudder and push away from the hag, shaking my hands to get the nasty off. "What are your jello sacks doing in my hands, girl? And while we're at it, what in the hell are you doing in my bed?" Making an S with my shoulders through the air while I back up, I lift a finger at her. Because uh-uh, no. "We're business partners, girlfriend, not the domestic kind because seriously I do not do tuna fish."
The 'ew' woke Saffron from a very comfortable sleep, and she let out an annoyed squeak as she was suddenly shoved off of her boyfriend's nice warm body. "Yiqi shenhuxi," she said, still half asleep and trying to process what he was saying as she sat up in bed, not bothering to cover herself. "You know damn well what I'm doing in your bed, Warrick, it's not like it's a new...did you just call my breasts jello sacks?"
Grimacing, I duck away from her, trying to hide my poor ears from that word. "Do you have to talk about--" I wave my hand in the general direction of her chest without looking. "This early in the morning? Cover those--" I shudder, close my eyes and turn away. "Things up." Back turned, I pick through my clothes for something to wear that isn't hideous. "Oh my god. Who replaced my clothes with Salvation Army rejects for the Negro pimp?"
Oh, hell. Waking up a little more, Saffron was able to put two and two together and figure out what the gui was wrong with Warrick. It had happened before, though it had been a long gorram time. Saffron herself had been affected that time; she'd even gone and apologized to her ruttin' ex-husband. "Honey, this is not you," she said, even as she moved to get her clothes and put them back on. "The island is doing this to you, making you think you're this way. You're acting the opposite of your normal self."
I peek back over my shoulder and see she's getting something on, but, girlfriend, a woman like that should not be wearing -- eugh. I shudder, shaking my shoulders and my head - whatever that is. I'm almost too busy trying not to vomit from realizing I probably had sex with a woman last night to hear what she's saying. Who cares what's coming out of her mouth. It's what came out of vagina dentata I'm worried about. My face screws up like oh my god what was I thinking and I ate a lemon on top of it. "Honey, if that's true, it's doing a damn good job of it, because I'm this--" I hold up my hands in front of my face, a millimeter apart. "Close to running screaming from this room in horror."
"No, you stay, I'll go," Saffron said, now dressed and slipping on her sandals as she fluffed her fingers through her hair. The attitude she projected was nothing but wry amusement, but underneath Warrick's behavior and words stung, badly, despite her knowing that it wasn't him and it was temporary. He would have some serious making up to do once he was back to normal. She turned towards the door, paused, then turned back. "Just - don't do anything drastic, all right? This is temporary, you'll be back to your usual self in a few days."
"Oh, for pete's sake, Helen. Don't get your thong in a wad. If you're right, I'll be--" I swallow hard and try not to gag when I say it. "Kissing all over you again in a few days. And if you're not, then--" I snap my fingers in an S curve and put on my best you know you want a piece of this ass smile. "You'll still have the best dressed fag on the island for a business partner." It's hard, but I'm trying to keep my cool here. I mean, just because I don't want to bump her uglies, I still care about the woman.
Well, that was it. Saffron could tolerate a hell of a lot, but she wasn't going to stand around watching her own gorram boyfriend try not to gag at the thought of kissing her. "If I'm not, I'll refer you to my seamstress, honey," she said, and then she was gone, without giving him a chance to respond.
Uh-uh, shut up, something is so not right here. My man-meat's poked between two hot buns, but oh my god, get out, those are not -
"Ew!" I shudder and push away from the hag, shaking my hands to get the nasty off. "What are your jello sacks doing in my hands, girl? And while we're at it, what in the hell are you doing in my bed?" Making an S with my shoulders through the air while I back up, I lift a finger at her. Because uh-uh, no. "We're business partners, girlfriend, not the domestic kind because seriously I do not do tuna fish."
The 'ew' woke Saffron from a very comfortable sleep, and she let out an annoyed squeak as she was suddenly shoved off of her boyfriend's nice warm body. "Yiqi shenhuxi," she said, still half asleep and trying to process what he was saying as she sat up in bed, not bothering to cover herself. "You know damn well what I'm doing in your bed, Warrick, it's not like it's a new...did you just call my breasts jello sacks?"
Grimacing, I duck away from her, trying to hide my poor ears from that word. "Do you have to talk about--" I wave my hand in the general direction of her chest without looking. "This early in the morning? Cover those--" I shudder, close my eyes and turn away. "Things up." Back turned, I pick through my clothes for something to wear that isn't hideous. "Oh my god. Who replaced my clothes with Salvation Army rejects for the Negro pimp?"
Oh, hell. Waking up a little more, Saffron was able to put two and two together and figure out what the gui was wrong with Warrick. It had happened before, though it had been a long gorram time. Saffron herself had been affected that time; she'd even gone and apologized to her ruttin' ex-husband. "Honey, this is not you," she said, even as she moved to get her clothes and put them back on. "The island is doing this to you, making you think you're this way. You're acting the opposite of your normal self."
I peek back over my shoulder and see she's getting something on, but, girlfriend, a woman like that should not be wearing -- eugh. I shudder, shaking my shoulders and my head - whatever that is. I'm almost too busy trying not to vomit from realizing I probably had sex with a woman last night to hear what she's saying. Who cares what's coming out of her mouth. It's what came out of vagina dentata I'm worried about. My face screws up like oh my god what was I thinking and I ate a lemon on top of it. "Honey, if that's true, it's doing a damn good job of it, because I'm this--" I hold up my hands in front of my face, a millimeter apart. "Close to running screaming from this room in horror."
"No, you stay, I'll go," Saffron said, now dressed and slipping on her sandals as she fluffed her fingers through her hair. The attitude she projected was nothing but wry amusement, but underneath Warrick's behavior and words stung, badly, despite her knowing that it wasn't him and it was temporary. He would have some serious making up to do once he was back to normal. She turned towards the door, paused, then turned back. "Just - don't do anything drastic, all right? This is temporary, you'll be back to your usual self in a few days."
"Oh, for pete's sake, Helen. Don't get your thong in a wad. If you're right, I'll be--" I swallow hard and try not to gag when I say it. "Kissing all over you again in a few days. And if you're not, then--" I snap my fingers in an S curve and put on my best you know you want a piece of this ass smile. "You'll still have the best dressed fag on the island for a business partner." It's hard, but I'm trying to keep my cool here. I mean, just because I don't want to bump her uglies, I still care about the woman.
Well, that was it. Saffron could tolerate a hell of a lot, but she wasn't going to stand around watching her own gorram boyfriend try not to gag at the thought of kissing her. "If I'm not, I'll refer you to my seamstress, honey," she said, and then she was gone, without giving him a chance to respond.