sick of everyone
I am so sick of everyone. Am I that bad of a person that no one will talk to me?? Why can't I have friends? Do I expect too much of you? Am I weird? Do I stink? Am I too fat??
I'm good enough to do favors for you. I'm good enough to bake stuff for you out of the kindness of my heart. I am good enough to give you plants from my gardens when I have too many. I am good enough to share fruits and vegetables with you, and for your kids to come and eat them right off the bushes.
I'm good enough to talk to when you are looking for your kid. But the only time I'm good enough for you to have a conversation with is only after you've been drinking. And even then, it's the same questions as last time, like you don't listen to what I say, or do and just don't care, or forget because you really aren't listening.
I am good enough to watch your brat for over a week straight, and for 9-14 hours a day at that. But I'm not good enough to stop by and talk to?? I'm not even good enough for you to wave to or say hello to, and YOU live right across the street.
Is it my attitude? Is it my face? Is it my mannerism?
I just don't get it.
And my only real, true friend lives in New Mexico right now. She is moving up here, though, so at least I'll have one person to talk to.
I quit. I don't need any friends. I guess I really don't give a shit if you all talk to me or not. It's your loss, not mine. I am a good friend, true to the end, but only if you let me be.