to be updated as i find time/this might become a zine...
things i assumed were common sense but have learned in the last year or so that apparently they aren't:
1. there will always be exceptions to every rule and that is usually awesome
2. someone having a different opinion/lifestyle choice/method for or ability to do a task/etc. than you, does not mean that yours are wrong or invalid.
3. if you're busy with tasks a, b, and c to the point that you don't have time or energy for much else, but task d needs to get done: accept that you can't reasonable do task d, therefore other people will, and thus it might not go exactly as it would have if you were involved.
4. the vast majority of people in most situations have no interest in actually causing you trouble, many of them actively want to contribute to your happiness or at least maintain civility; keep this in mind when they fuck up. people will fuck up, expecting them not to sets them up for it.
5. everyone is, at times, sad/cranky/hypocritical/bratty/mean/flaky/other suck qualities that are generally attributed to bad people. that is fucking annoying, but only a serious problem when it's the other person's default state, or they decide it is. whichever happens first.
6. probably the biggest difference between adults and children is the ability to take responsibility for your feelings and actions
7. personal growth is often painful, things that are good in the long run sometimes suck in the moment. this does not mean you should stop, but there's no harm in taking a break.
8. everyone is entitled to their opinion. that means you can think, feel, and say basically whatever you want, because trying not to will backfire. it never means you can be an asshole without consequence.
9. if people do you a favour because you genuinely need help, be fucking grateful - no, celebratory. it may not go exactly as you'd like, because someone else is doing it, but someone else is doing it so you don't have to.
10. being measurably 'better' than someone else is a terrible way to gauge your progress/determine your self-worth. it's a great way to alienate people and never feel satisfied.
11. seriously, no body commentary ever.
1. there will always be exceptions to every rule and that is usually awesome
2. someone having a different opinion/lifestyle choice/method for or ability to do a task/etc. than you, does not mean that yours are wrong or invalid.
3. if you're busy with tasks a, b, and c to the point that you don't have time or energy for much else, but task d needs to get done: accept that you can't reasonable do task d, therefore other people will, and thus it might not go exactly as it would have if you were involved.
4. the vast majority of people in most situations have no interest in actually causing you trouble, many of them actively want to contribute to your happiness or at least maintain civility; keep this in mind when they fuck up. people will fuck up, expecting them not to sets them up for it.
5. everyone is, at times, sad/cranky/hypocritical/bratty/mean/flaky/other suck qualities that are generally attributed to bad people. that is fucking annoying, but only a serious problem when it's the other person's default state, or they decide it is. whichever happens first.
6. probably the biggest difference between adults and children is the ability to take responsibility for your feelings and actions
7. personal growth is often painful, things that are good in the long run sometimes suck in the moment. this does not mean you should stop, but there's no harm in taking a break.
8. everyone is entitled to their opinion. that means you can think, feel, and say basically whatever you want, because trying not to will backfire. it never means you can be an asshole without consequence.
9. if people do you a favour because you genuinely need help, be fucking grateful - no, celebratory. it may not go exactly as you'd like, because someone else is doing it, but someone else is doing it so you don't have to.
10. being measurably 'better' than someone else is a terrible way to gauge your progress/determine your self-worth. it's a great way to alienate people and never feel satisfied.
11. seriously, no body commentary ever.