"You need to come up with some different threats," says Priestly, poking his head out even though he can't see. "I think he stopped believing that one a long time ago. Especially the Harrison Ford part."
"There are so many more interesting ways I can answer that question than telling you where Ampersand is," says Priestly. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with one of them instead? I promise they're fun."
Yorick looks torn, but in his hands are the remains of the only pair of sunglasses he's been able to get that goddamn box to cough up that don't look like his grandma's in months.
"But look," he says, nearly a whine. He holds them out to show Priestly. "It's like he's trying to ruin my life. This is all he does anymore, wreck my crap."
"But my version ends with 'in my pants'," says Priestly, "and isn't that always the right answer?" He has to sympathize about the sunglasses, though. That's a lot blow. "All right, I'm pretty sure he's out on the railing. Possibly flinging something."
Priestly knows that's just as much of an empty threat as Harrison Ford, if only because Ampersand would scurry or hop or swing away long before Yorick could do that, but Yorick just delivers it with such convinction that he follows him to see this all play out.
"So after you go spank the monkey, do you need my help with anything else?"
"Well, since I walked five bazillion miles to get here, I figured I'd stay for awhile," Yorick says, giving Ampersand's tail a tug. Amp screeches and jumps on Yorick's shoulder, who just takes it, as usual.
"Do you mind!" But Ampersand doesn't, and makes a mess of Yorick's hair before hopping onto the roof and running off with loud chittery monkey sounds.
"You can't tell me you weren't expecting that," says Priestly, waving cheerfully at Ampersand as he goes. Sunglasses notwithstanding, he's a pretty good monkey. And they weren't Priestly's sunglasses. "The little guy's spoiled rotten."
"Well, it sure isn't me," says Priestly, deflecting all blame in whatever direction it might fly. "Anyway, he's off doing monkey things now anyway, so the rest of your accessories are safe for the moment."
"But I can't promise you tennis bracelet is safe, Princess," says Priestly, giving him a little knock on the shoulder. "You really want to spend all our time talking about your monkey? He's out there right now, happy as a...well, monkey. Dammit, I just couldn't find anywhere to go with that."
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Yorick's smile is somewhat manic when he steps out. "Where is my monkey?"
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"But look," he says, nearly a whine. He holds them out to show Priestly. "It's like he's trying to ruin my life. This is all he does anymore, wreck my crap."
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"Back in a minute, I need to go push him off."
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"So after you go spank the monkey, do you need my help with anything else?"
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"Do you mind!" But Ampersand doesn't, and makes a mess of Yorick's hair before hopping onto the roof and running off with loud chittery monkey sounds.
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He steps closer, a grin on his face, and links two fingers into Priestly's beltloops. "Why? Got something better to do?"
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