Time to heal, time to feel.
There's a lot of things I don't think I can stand anymore. There are a lot of damaging ways I think: damaging to me, but wrapped up in a big bright bow of "being a nice person." Under all this is a damaged, frightened little girl that was conditioned by another damaged, frightened little girl who happened to grow bigger and have me as her baby.
I don't blame her. I can't blame her. According to the authors of this book on Pranic Healing, you don't need to blame, you don't need to "let go," you just need to feel. This is pretty significant stuff. Many people repress things that happen to them; this is a pretty obvious example of people needing to feel things that they don't want to think about. In a less obvious was, though, there are all the little steps along the way: for me, it's less like, "my father sexually absued me," and more like, "my father was always working, I had to struggle try make conversation with him, and until I grew old enough to no longer be a child, the only words I heard from my father were those that forbade me standing up to my mother." Sure, I don't have sexual hangups. But I sure as hell have hangups about "overreacting," in relationships, especially romantic ones.
So, as a result of this, I am going to write a list of things that have hurt or affected me, and one by one, I am going to write about them. I am going to do this Publicly, partially as inspired by pharoah_katt, but mostly because of something that I will explain in my first post. Stay tuned!
I don't blame her. I can't blame her. According to the authors of this book on Pranic Healing, you don't need to blame, you don't need to "let go," you just need to feel. This is pretty significant stuff. Many people repress things that happen to them; this is a pretty obvious example of people needing to feel things that they don't want to think about. In a less obvious was, though, there are all the little steps along the way: for me, it's less like, "my father sexually absued me," and more like, "my father was always working, I had to struggle try make conversation with him, and until I grew old enough to no longer be a child, the only words I heard from my father were those that forbade me standing up to my mother." Sure, I don't have sexual hangups. But I sure as hell have hangups about "overreacting," in relationships, especially romantic ones.
So, as a result of this, I am going to write a list of things that have hurt or affected me, and one by one, I am going to write about them. I am going to do this Publicly, partially as inspired by pharoah_katt, but mostly because of something that I will explain in my first post. Stay tuned!