Posthumous Firelight
Of all my wishes that I’ve made in this life, (half-drugged, but not enough to kill me) I wished for you to understand the fact that I was tortured by a drug too great for words, and yet I filled my books with songs -How could you have understood? I saw you standing in the crowded rows amongst them. Did you want to change this fucked up world too? I saw a fire that lit a world too bright -and flash - and fade - and die in a cold night. It’s hard to care, but painless if you fake. The teen hearts fell upon my stage in rage as if to say, “we feel it too, man” - Yeah. I couldn’t change the way things had to be. I wanted to, yes, but I’m no savior. A Messenger of what you didn’t want. You saw no evil, spoke no evil, but you heard it, traveling into the core where I could shake the firelight inside. And did you let it die within you or protect the glow until it could reside within a home more worthy of a hope? And learning that you have to sacrifice in order to be heard by more than just the nameless few that stood there screaming out - the only choice there was, was burning out instead of letting time fade it away. The soul was not supposed to burn this bright. I couldn’t let it go forever yet there was no way of stopping shooting stars. You let them fall and shatter in the night, and all I wanted was to shine for just a moment while the darkness slowly sank between the flame and turned me into dust. While no one came to echo back, I sang for all of you that still remembered me. This world can suffocate you if you let it, but it’s beautiful within that darkened dive.
I wanted to believe that I was not the only one. No, I know that I’m not. If all the rest of them were only there to watch it burn or fade away, I know that there were also those of you that cared enough to simply let the fire glow. And maybe life is not for everyone. The sun is gone but I have left a light for you, because I knew you understood.
Standing in that empty room without them, I bet you want to change this fucked up world. And soothing burns that woke you up, you might just be the one to prove me wrong this time.
Peace, Love, and Empathy -
I know you’re right.