Encouraging Child-Led Weaning

[alaria_lyon]

So, I'm not going to get an answer I'm looking for in my breastfeeding community I think, but I know there are a bunch of nursers on my friends list and even more on navrins friends list. So if you wouldn't mind passing this along navrins I'd appreciate it

Comments

[pekmez]

I'm about where you are too with an almost 2 year old nurser where mommy wants to wean before child does, except with a slightly different schedule (ie thank god no 5am nursing!). but the whole off and on thing all evening is one of the main things I want to reduce, plus if she's at all insecure in her surroundings on day she's with me, or cranky and tired around naptime, or I'm distracted and on the phone, she will try to get more opportunities to nurse too.

Don't offer/don't refuse doesn't work well enough for us, she asks way more often than I want to deal with nursing, and we're already trying to deflect/distract/explain that she can't now - but I cave when she actually seems really upset or when I'm too distracted to remember to say no (or when she throws a tantrum, and I shouldn't cave to that, but I do.)

I don't have ideas that work but though I would at least offer that you are not the only one in the same boat. :) (Does your breastfeeding community just say "but you shouldn't wean! why do want to wean when your kid doesn't want to?")

[alaria_lyon]

Does your breastfeeding community just say "but you shouldn't wean! why do want to wean when your kid doesn't want to?"

Yes some. But I got one really good response that I will pass on to you...

The biggest thing that worked for us (my son weaned around his 3rd birthday) was to listen carefully to what need my son was trying to meet when he asked to nurse, and to offer him the chance to meet it antoher way.

Hungry? Ask if he'd prefer a healthy snack.
Thirsty? Offer a galss of water or milk (if your family drinks milk.)
Needs attention from mom? Cuddle and read a book or sing a song together.
Bored? Offer to get out the fingerpaints.
Needs help getting to sleep? Try a little backrub.
Hurt or scared? Offer hugs and soft words. (This is the one that took the longest for us. He nursed after bumping or scraping himself for about 3 months after being otherwise weaned.)

If he still prefers nursing when you offer a choice, I'd go ahead and nurse. But at least in my experience I found that as my son grew he began to choose the alternate more and more. Right after his third birthday, when he fell down and then ran up to me asking for a hug and kiss, I knew we were really weaned. :)

[pekmez]

ooh, that is a really good response. thank you for sharing it!

I offer food and drink but am not good at offering the right thing cuddling or attention-wise (hence the extra nursing when I'm on the phone and just want to finish the conversation and she sneaks into my lap on the couch.)