52 Project #10: The Little Red Hen
Once upon a time, a hen, a cat, a dog, a pig, a goat and a rabbit all lived together in a little house.
Like good housemates, they all worked together to do the chores and pay the bills. In the front yard, Goat had a little pen. Children would come and pay to come into the pen and pet Goat. Sometimes the other animals came out to be petted too, except for the hen, because she was always too busy.
Rabbit had beautiful long fur and brushed it all the time, and then she would spin the fur that came off with the brush into wool, which she would sell. The wool that came from Rabbit’s fur made lovely soft sweaters.
The others had jobs around the house. Hen kept a garden where she grew food for herself, Pig, Goat and Rabbit. Sometimes Dog ate the food too. Once or twice even Cat did, because Hen’s cooking was very good, but most of the time Cat prowled around for mice, or took naps.
Dog’s job was to bark a lot. Dog barked to warn Goat that children were coming for the petting zoo if Goat was inside the house. Dog barked to warn other dogs to go away. Dog barked to say hi to people. Dog barked to say that people had better watch out and not try any funny business. Dog barked at squirrels. He couldn’t explain why he needed to bark at squirrels. He just did.
Pig was always eating garbage. And then she would track dirt across Hen’s nice clean floor on her way to take a shower. And then she would eat more garbage. And then she would take another shower. When Hen got mad at Pig for taking too many showers, Pig asked Hen if she would prefer it if Pig had a mud wallow instead. After that Hen didn’t complain about Pig’s showers.
Hen tried to keep the house clean. There were always feathers and fur everywhere. Cat didn’t want to sit still to let Rabbit brush her. “I’m a cat,” she would say. “I can clean myself.” Then she would lick off all of her own loose fur. Then eating so much hair would make her sick, and she would throw up a hairball, right on Hen’s nice clean floor. “Ooh, I feel much too sick to clean that up,” she would say. “Hen, can you do it?” Then she would take a nap.
Dog got nervous sometimes. All that barking was hard on him. He had to stay alert all day and all night. When Dog was nervous, he chewed on things. He chewed on Cat’s bed pillow, which got feathers everywhere that weren’t even Hen’s. He chewed on Rabbit’s brush, and Rabbit was angry enough to try to hit him with it. He chewed on a pair of old shoes. None of the animals wore shoes, but the shoes belonged to Goat, who also liked chewing on them, so Goat and Dog had an argument.
Pig would stay in the garbage pen when she was eating garbage. Goat would wander into the pen the day after Hen made spaghetti with tomato sauce, because he loved tomato sauce. He’d pick up the can Hen had thrown in the garbage, and lick it. Pig didn’t mind. There was plenty of garbage. But Goat wouldn’t stay still in the garbage pen. “I have to get back to the petting zoo,” he’d say. “The children want to pet me.” Then he’d walk around with the dirty tomato sauce can in his mouth, letting it drip all over the place. Children thought this was very funny. Hen didn’t.
Rabbit would get angry when she found red feathers in her hutch. “Hen! You’re getting feathers in my hutch again!” she’d say. Hen would get angry because Rabbit shed fur everywhere and it wasn’t fair for Rabbit to complain about Hen’s feathers, when Hen was the only one who even tried to keep the house clean. Rabbit would always say that her fur was putting a roof over all of their heads and paying for the groceries, because six animals ate a lot more than Hen could grow in her garden, so she was always going to the grocery store. Then Hen would say “Well, if that fur is worth so much money why is it all over the couch and not on your spindle?” and then Rabbit would hmph and say that she works hard to sell her wool and she has the right to sit down and watch TV sometimes.
They were all friends and they all worked together to make life better for all the animals in the house. But sometimes friends and housemates don’t always get along so well.
One day Hen decided she was going to bake a loaf of bread. All of the animals loved her bread. Even Cat, who wasn’t supposed to eat bread, because she was a carnivore and it was bad for her. Cat pretended she didn’t really care about the bread, but when no one was looking she would always sneak a slice.
“I’m going to make bread,” she announced. “Who wants to help me buy the supplies I’ll need?”
“Not me,” said Cat, who was running around on the kitchen flour pouncing on nothing. Sometimes she did that for fun.
“Not me,” said Dog, who was at the window looking out into the yard. He saw a squirrel. “WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! AR-AR-AR-AR-AR! WOOF WOOF!”
Rabbit rolled her eyes. “It’s just a squirrel,” she said. “You don’t have to bark.”
“I do! My honor as a dog requires it!”
“Are you going to help me get the groceries?” demanded Hen.
“Oh heavens no. Look at all this brushing and grooming I have to do!” Rabbit brushed her fur.
“Pig, will you come with me?”
“I would, but I’m sooo hungry, I feel like I’d eat everything in the store!” Pig said, munching on yesterday’s garbage. “Sorry, count me out.”
Hen stuck her head out the door. Goat was playing with children. “Goat, will you come with me to the store so I can buy supplies to make bread?”
“Not me,” said Goat, as the children petted him.
“Well! Then I guess I have to do it all myself! I swear I live with the biggest lazybones I’ve ever met,” Hen said, which was probably true, because last time she had housemates they were all chickens. The hens worked hard at laying eggs and sitting on them, and finding bugs and worms and plants to eat, and the roosters worked hard at defending the hens and crowing when it was morning to wake all the chickens up so they could eat. Also when they saw a squirrel, much like Dog. Also when they had an itch. Also when they just felt like it.
Hen went to the grocery store, and got flour, yeast, and vegetable oil. The vegetable oil was very heavy. She’d bought a large one, because it was on sale, but it was very hard for a little hen to drag such a heavy bottle back home, especially with the heavy bag of flour too.
When she got back to her house, she yelled, “This stuff is really heavy! Is anyone going to help me carry it into the kitchen?”
“Too busy!” yelled Goat, who was still getting petted by children.
“If I look away from the window there might be an intruder!” Dog said. “Or another squirrel!”
“Still brushing,” said Rabbit.
“I’d help, but if I look at your groceries, I might get hungry again,” Pig said. “I just now managed to get full enough to go take my shower.”
“Cat?” Hen asked.
“What, are you seriously asking me? Of course not. I’m grooming,” Cat said, licking her fur.
So Hen dragged her groceries into the kitchen and began to make the dough. She put the ingredients in a bowl and began to mix them. “Can anybody help me mix the dough here?”
“What part of ‘grooming’ are you not getting?” Cat asked.
“Maybe if Cat will watch the window for me and let me know if anything dangerous is coming, I could help you mix the dough?” Dog suggested.
“How about no?” Cat said.
“Still brushing,” Rabbit said.
Pig was in the shower, and Goat was outside, so Hen didn’t even ask.
When she was done mixing the dough, it was time to knead it. Wings are not very good at kneading things, so Hen washed her feet in the sink first. Then she climbed on the dough and began to knead it. “I don’t suppose anyone wants to help me knead the dough?” she asked.
“I am hunting a mouse here,” Cat said, which Hen thought was strange, because it looked like she was sitting still on the floor with her tail twitching.
“Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute!” Dog said. “THERE’S AN INTRUDER!” He ran outside, barking. “Intruder! Intruder!”
Rabbit sighed. “Dog, that’s the mailman,” she said, although Dog couldn’t hear her, because he was already outside. Also, he was barking very loudly.
“You’re not brushing anymore,” Hen said. “You could help me.”
Rabbit glared at her. “I am spinning,” she said, feeding the fur from her brush into a spinner so she could turn it into wool thread.
After Hen had kneaded the dough, it was time to make it into a loaf. “Does anyone want to help me make these loaves?” she asked.
But the only one left was Rabbit. Pig was still in the shower, Goat was still being petted by children, Dog was patrolling the property, and Cat had gone outside to hunt mice. Hen looked over at Rabbit, but Rabbit was still spinning. “Humph,” Hen said. “None of you are very helpful. It would serve you right if I didn’t even let you eat any of this loaf.” But Rabbit was paying attention to her spinning, so she didn’t notice what Hen said.
When the loaves were made, Hen put them in the oven to bake. She got out the butter, so it would be nice and soft when it was time to put it on the bread, and then she washed the dishes she’d gotten dirty, and cleaned the counter, and swept the kitchen. None of the animals helped her.
Finally, the loaves came out of the oven. By this time, Rabbit was done spinning, and had finished taking pictures of her wool to add to her catalog, and now she was watching TV. Cat was sleeping in the living room with the TV on. Pig was munching on apple cores and peels from the apple pie Hen had made yesterday, as she watched TV with Rabbit. Dog and Goat were playing cards in the living room at the coffee table.
Hen marched out to the living room. “Well, the bread that I made all by myself is done. Who wants to help me eat it?” she asked.
“I’d love some!” said Pig.
“I could definitely go for bread,” Goat agreed.
“Me, too,” said Dog.
“Bread sounds nice,” Rabbit said.
Cat flicked her ear up and opened one eye. “Maybe,” she murmured sleepily.
“Well, too bad!” Hen said. “Because none of you helped me get the groceries, and none of you helped me bring in the groceries, and none of you helped me make the dough, and none of you helped me knead the dough, and none of you helped me make the loaves, and you definitely didn’t help me clean up the kitchen afterward, so why should you help yourself to any of my bread? It’s my bread and I’m going to eat it all by myself!” She flounced back into the kitchen, fluttering her wings.
All of the animals looked at each other.
Goat followed Hen into the kitchen. “You do know that Rabbit and I made the money that you used to buy those groceries, right?” he asked.
“But you didn’t help buy them. You didn’t help use them. You didn’t help clean up after them. And you never, ever do! I work very hard around here to keep this place clean and cook nice food for all of us and none of you ever help.”
“Well, all right then,” Goat said. “You do your job, without any help, and we all get the benefits. All of us do our jobs, without any help, and you get the benefits too, along with the rest of us. So why is this different?”
“Because you are all being lazy and not helping me at all. I make the food! That’s very important! But you don’t help me do that and you don’t clean up after yourselves and I’m tired of it! So I’m going to eat all the bread that I made.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Goat.
Hen humphed. “Well, you didn’t think helping me was a good idea either, and look how that turned out.”
Goat left the kitchen, and Hen sat down to eat her nice warm bread, with butter and cheese. It was delicious, but she couldn’t eat it all. She had to wrap most of the loaf up for later.
I can have it for breakfast in the morning, thought Hen.
In the morning, though, there was no loaf on the counter. There was a wrapper, and there were crumbs, but there was no loaf.
“Someone ate my loaf!” Hen yelled. “I said very specifically that no one was allowed to eat my loaf because no one helped me make it, but someone ate it anyway!”
“Not me,” said Rabbit, who was on the computer arranging a sale of the thread spun from her fur. “I’m too busy working to eat your loaf.”
“Not me!” said Dog, who then started barking to let Goat know that there were children coming to the petting zoo.
“Not me,” Goat said, “but if you’re not doing anything with that wrapper, I could get rid of it for you.”
“Not me,” said Pig nervously. “I’m, um, going on a diet. I’m fasting today. Sort of. Anyway I didn’t eat your bread.”
“Not me,” Cat said, yawning and stretching, “but maybe I know who did.”
“Then who was it?” Hen demanded.
“There might have been a bold rat or two in here last night looking for something to eat, and it’s possible they got into your loaf,” Cat said, washing herself.
Hen glared at her. “You saw rats get into my food, and you didn’t do anything?”
“Well, you never help me catch rats, so why should I protect your food?” Cat said. “I know you can catch a rat. I’ve seen you eat mice.”
“Rats are much too big for me! If we had a rooster here, maybe he could help you, but I can’t do anything about a rat!”
“Wait, Hen eats mice?” Rabbit’s ears perked up. “Since when?”
“Since always. Chickens will eat anything,” Cat said. “But did she help me catch the rats last night? No! So I didn’t catch the ones who were eating her loaf.”
“I’ll go outside and hunt for rats,” Dog said. “I don’t like rats being in the house! They’re intruders!” He looked over at Cat. “Do you want to come with me?”
“Maybe later. I think I’m going to have a nap right now,” Cat said.
“You just woke up,” Hen accused.
“I did. And it bored me, so I’m going back to sleep.”
Dog left. Goat nibbled at the wrapper. Hen glared at him. “I hear children outside. Aren’t you supposed to go out there and let them pet you?”
“I’m just not feeling it today,” Goat said. “After all, if I go take tickets so that children can pet me, you’ll just take the money and spend it on food I’m not allowed to eat, so why am I bothering?”
Hen huffed and went to the stove. “Well, if you won’t contribute anything to this household by working, I won’t let you have any eggs for breakfast. I worked hard laying these eggs.”
“I could eat some eggs,” Pig said.
“I thought you said you were fasting today.”
“I’m not fasting for eggs!”
“Aren’t eggs baby chickens?” Rabbit asked. “I think it’s creepy that you’re willing to cook them and eat them.”
Hen rolled her eyes, which was very difficult to do with bird eyes, but she managed it. “If I had a rooster for a husband, they’d be baby chickens and I would never let anyone eat them. But I don’t have a husband, so they’ll never become baby chicks no matter how long I sit on them. If you think it’s so creepy, Rabbit, you don’t have to have any eggs!”
“I don’t care,” Rabbit said. “You think no one gets to have any food unless they do your job for you.”
“I just want them to help! I don’t think that’s so unfair!”
“Whatever,” Rabbit said.
Hen tried to turn on the oven, and discovered that there was no firewood in the oven, so she couldn’t get it to turn on. She flapped her wings in exasperation and went outside to get firewood, but there wasn’t any.
“Rabbit! Weren’t you supposed to order more firewood?”
“Was I?” Rabbit was brushing her fur again. “I eat lettuce and greens. My food doesn’t need to be cooked, and my fur keeps me nice and warm, so why should I care about the firewood?”
“Ugh!” Hen shouted. “I have to do everything!”
She went outside to find some firewood. What she found was a pile of trash, with flies buzzing around it. Pig hadn’t eaten any of the garbage from yesterday. Hen stomped back in. “Pig! Why didn’t you eat the garbage?”
“Um, well, I’m fasting?” Pig said.
“No, you’re not, you asked for eggs.”
“I’m fasting for garbage,” Pig said.
Goat said, “Why should Pig eat the garbage for you? You’re the one who cares about how clean the house is, but you wouldn’t even let Pig have some of your bread, so why should Pig do you any favors?”
“Because it’s her job!”
“And making food for all of us is yours,” Goat said. “Excuse me.” He headed upstairs toward his bedroom.
“Well, I’m going to make some cake!” Hen yelled. “And I’m not letting you or Pig or Rabbit have any!”
“Great. Good luck finding firewood,” Goat called down the stairs.
Cat got up and stretched again. “You guys are so loud. I’m going to go take my nap somewhere else.”
“You all should leave,” Hen snapped. “You’re all useless!”
Cat stared at Hen. “I’m leaving because you’re loud and annoying, not because you told me to.” She stalked away.
“I, um, I’m going to find some food in the woods,” Pig said. “Maybe some truffles. I heard I could make a lot of money if I found truffles and sold them.”
“Goat and Rabbit are supposed to make enough money to support us all,” Hen said.
“Right, but if I had my own money, I could buy my own food and then I wouldn’t have to eat garbage ever again.”
“Well, what will happen to this house if you never eat the garbage?” Hen snapped.
“You could eat it, Hen,” Rabbit said. “You’re the one who thinks that everyone has to help do everyone else’s job.”
“Well, if I only cook for myself, then there won’t be enough garbage to worry about!” Hen said.
Before anyone else could say anything, Hen heard strange voices in the house. Human voices. “I can’t find the goat!” a child’s voice said.
“I’m sure he’s in here somewhere,” a human woman said. “Oh, look! It’s a pig, a rabbit and a hen!”
Rabbit got up and bounded away, very, very quickly, leaving her brush behind her. Hen was not as fast. “Oh no you don’t!” she clucked at the child. “Stay away from me!” The child ran toward her. Hen did not want to be petted; she squawked and ran the other way, and then the human headed her way so she ran the opposite way. Meanwhile an older human child was petting Pig, who seemed to like it very much.
“I didn’t know pigs had fur,” the older child said. “It feels just like our hair, Mom!”
“That’s very nice,” Pig said. “Maybe I’ll work with Goat in the petting zoo. It feels nice to be petted.”
Hen was still running in circles. The child came at her from one direction and then the other. She couldn’t escape the kitchen because the child’s mother was blocking the door. “Mom, I just want to pet the hen! Why is she running away?” the child asked petulantly.
“Because I don’t want to be petted!” Hen squawked. She tried to run out the back door, but there were more children outside in the garbage area, complaining that it was stinky; she could hear them through the window.
“Mom, can you catch the hen so I can pet her?” the younger child said.
“Goat! There are children here trying to pet me! Come down here!”
“Naah,” Goat called back.
“But they’re your customers! They’re looking for you, and they’re chasing me!”
“I don’t see how that’s my problem,” Goat said.
“DOG! Help! There are children chasing me!”
“Um, Dog’s not here, remember?” Pig said. “He went hunting rats.”
Hen managed to slip past the grasping child and get out the door. The children who’d been out in the garbage pile had left, complaining about the stink. When the child who wanted to pet her headed for the same door, the child’s mother said, “No, no, there’s stinky garbage that way. Why don’t we pet the pig? We can pet the hen when she comes back.”
“Fat chance,” said Hen, as she flounced away.
Outside, she found Dog being petted. “Dog! You should have helped me! Some of those children came in the house and chased me!”
“You should have let them catch you,” Dog said, his tongue lolling and tail wagging. “These children love animals! I think I want to work with Goat every day!”
“I don’t like being petted,” Hen complained. “Now I can’t go inside my own house because there are children who are intruders, and they’re petting Pig!”
“Does Pig like it?”
“Pig likes it, but I don’t know why,” Hen complained.
“Well, I don’t have to protect Pig from something she likes,” Dog said.
Two tall adult human men, who didn’t have children with them, headed for the back door near the garbage pile. Hen clucked. “Dog! There are humans going to our garbage pile!”
“So? Maybe some humans like garbage. I like garbage, and Pig likes garbage, so maybe humans do too.”
“But it’s embarrassing! I don’t want strangers seeing our garbage!”
“I guess you’ll just have to chase them off, then,” Dog said. “Since you want everyone else to do your job or you won’t help them, we all decided that we won’t help you unless you do our jobs for us.”
Hen scowled. “Oh, so that’s it,” she said. “You all ganged up on me!”
Dog rolled on his back to get a belly rub. “Well, it seemed a little mean to me, but Goat explained that it was fair, because it’s what you did to us. All of us do our own jobs and we all work together, but you act like you’re the only one who does anything to contribute. So if you’re going to be mean to us, I guess we ought to be mean the same way to you? I mean, that’s fair, right?”
Hen squawked. “I work so hard to maintain this house!”
“And I work so hard to protect the house from intruders!” Dog said.
At this point there was a loud shattering sound from the side of the house. Dog leapt up, pulling away from the children petting him, and ran toward the sound, barking. Hen followed.
The television was lying on the ground, broken. The two humans were running away as Pig chased them, squealing. A moment later Goat came out the door and ran after the humans as well. “They stole our television!” Goat shouted.
“I’m on it! WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF!” Dog ran after the two humans, which let Goat and Pig slow down and return to the house.
“Our television is broken because Dog wouldn’t do his job!” Hen said, angrily pecking at the broken TV. “If he’d been protecting the house from intruders, they wouldn’t have been able to just walk in and take the TV!” She fixed Goat with a glare. “And you encouraged him to do that!”
Goat glared right back. “It’s your fault, Hen,” he said. “You didn’t want to do your job for anyone who didn’t help you, even though we all have jobs? Well, why should Dog do his job for you? You could have chased off those intruders! You have a beak!”
“I am a little hen!” Hen yelled. “I can’t beat up a human! All of you except Rabbit would be better at that than I am!”
“Huh, it sounds like you’re saying we all should be working at the jobs we’re good at and not expecting others to step in and do our job?”
“I tried to do Dog’s job,” Pig said. “When I saw those humans taking our television I got mad and I chased them, and they dropped the TV!”
“Which broke it,” Hen said.
“Yes, but I’d rather the television broke than that intruders get to use it,” Pig said.
Dog came back, proudly holding a scrap of blue jeans in his teeth. He dropped it on the ground by them. “I didn’t catch them, but I got their pants,” he said. “I don’t think they’ll be back.”
“I tried to do your job, Dog,” Pig said. “But I wasn’t as good at it as you are.”
“Thanks for trying,” Dog said. “I really appreciate it. And you know I would never stop protecting you if you didn’t help me protect us, right, Pig?”
Pig nodded.
Rabbit came hopping back. “Are there still humans in our house, and what happened to the television?”
They explained everything to Rabbit, and explained everything again to Cat when she showed up. Goat went into the house to clear out all the human children and get them to go wait outside the petting zoo.
“This isn’t fair,” Hen said. “I spend my whole day cooking and cleaning to make the house nice for all of us, and none of you want to help at all. You’re fine with making a mess, but you don’t clean it. And Goat’s job is just for the daytime, and Rabbit can do her work whenever she wants to, and Cat and Dog take plenty of breaks, and Pig’s job is just eating! How hard is that?”
“You’re the one who decided to cook and clean,” Goat said. “You could sell eggs, just like Rabbit sells fur, but you decided to do the cooking and cleaning.”
“But I have to, because you’re all slobs,” Hen said. “Other hens will make fun of me if they see what a mess my house is! If I relied on any of you to keep the place clean, you wouldn’t!”
Cat washed her paw. “Maybe you just aren’t paying attention to what we do. When was the last time you cleaned the bathroom?”
Hen cocked her head. “Cleaned the bathroom?”
“My point exactly,” Cat said. “I make sure that the bathroom stays clean. I can’t remember the last time you bothered with that. I know none of the rest of you care, but I can’t stand a smelly bathroom.”
“And when you use cans when you cook, I clean them out and take them to recycling,” Goat said.
“And when the trash is so smelly even Pig doesn’t want to eat it, I take the bags out to the road for the garbage truck,” Dog said.
“And then you bark at the garbage truck for no reason,” Cat said.
“Well, by the time they come sometimes I forget I’m expecting them…”
“And when there was a leak in the basement, Dog and I dug out the pipes so we could patch the leak, and I ruined my fur for weeks,” Rabbit said.
“But none of those things are things you do every day,” Hen said, frustrated.
“Um, she has a point,” Pig said. “I thought she was mean about the loaf of bread, but it is true that the chores she does have to be done every day…”
“So is protecting the house!” Dog said.
Goat considered. “We all have a lot of work to do, but Hen is right that her job never stops; there are always messes, and we always need food. I can take a day off from the petting zoo and Dog doesn’t do anything if an intruder doesn’t come near the house and Rabbit only brushes and spins when she feels like she hasn’t got enough to sell, but Hen does her job all the time.”
“But nobody needs her to. She’s the one who wants to live in such a clean house,” Rabbit said.
“You complained about my feathers in your hutch,” Hen said.
“Yeah, actually, you did do that,” Cat said. “Anyway, I like a clean house.”
“I wish she wouldn’t clean up all the smells so fast,” Dog said, “but it does make it easier to smell intruders.”
“I like it when things are clean,” Pig said. “That’s why I take showers instead of getting a mud wallow.”
“So I have an idea,” Goat said. “All of us should pitch in and help Hen with chores… just so no one has a job they can’t ever walk away from for a little while. But Hen needs to understand that if we’re doing our jobs, or if we’ve had a hard day of doing our jobs all day and we’re tired, we aren’t always going to want to jump up and help with whatever, especially if it’s not a thing that needs doing. No one needed a loaf of bread yesterday, Hen, that was all your idea.”
“Well, you all wanted to eat it!”
“And you all wanted to watch TV even though Rabbit and I bought it,” Goat said. “That’s not the point.”
“I was hunting mice,” Cat said. “Who will, let me remind you, eat all your flour if I don’t stop them, and then you’re not going to bake any bread.”
“I was at my job,” Goat said. “Which you don’t want to do, and that’s fine, but don’t act like it’s not work.”
“Getting petted is work?” Dog asked.
“It sure is. You need to make sure the kids don’t fight with each other, and that they all get to pet you a fair amount of time, and of course you have to take the ticket money too, and it can be exhausting having to deal with people all day long, especially children. I don’t just lie around and get petted; I have to manage things.”
“And I was brushing and spinning,” Rabbit said, “because I had a big order I needed to ship today.”
“I don’t know how to cook,” Dog said. “I know how to protect the house, though, so I was doing that, because I was afraid I’d mess up if I tried to help you with the baking.”
“I guess I could have been more help,” Pig said. “I was really hungry, but maybe if I’d gotten a snack I could have helped out.” She looked at Goat. “And maybe I could help Goat in the petting zoo. We could take turns taking the ticket money and getting petted.”
“I could help with that too!” Dog said. “But I won’t ignore intruders going into the house just because I’m getting petted, the next time.”
“And I could help you sell vegetables and eggs, Hen,” Rabbit said. “Most of my sales are online, but I do sell yarn at the weekly farmer’s market, so I have a table there. I never asked you before because I thought the whole thing with the eggs was weird, but if they really aren’t baby chicks then I guess I have no reason not to invite you to come along and sell vegetables and eggs. That way you’d be making some of the household money, and so we wouldn’t be upset that you want us to do chores when we all have jobs.”
Hen sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I got mad because I feel like you never help me and I’m always working. I understand you have jobs, but… it was hard to bring home those groceries by myself, and then I had to do all the work to make the bread, and I just got frustrated. I shouldn’t have said you couldn’t have any bread.”
And so the friends made up, and agreed that they would share their workloads more fairly. Hen made another loaf of bread while Rabbit and Dog were out buying a new TV with the household funds, and Goat and Pig shared petting zoo duties. Even Cat went out to get petted, for a little while. Then they all shared the bread, this time.
It was delicious.
Like good housemates, they all worked together to do the chores and pay the bills. In the front yard, Goat had a little pen. Children would come and pay to come into the pen and pet Goat. Sometimes the other animals came out to be petted too, except for the hen, because she was always too busy.
Rabbit had beautiful long fur and brushed it all the time, and then she would spin the fur that came off with the brush into wool, which she would sell. The wool that came from Rabbit’s fur made lovely soft sweaters.
The others had jobs around the house. Hen kept a garden where she grew food for herself, Pig, Goat and Rabbit. Sometimes Dog ate the food too. Once or twice even Cat did, because Hen’s cooking was very good, but most of the time Cat prowled around for mice, or took naps.
Dog’s job was to bark a lot. Dog barked to warn Goat that children were coming for the petting zoo if Goat was inside the house. Dog barked to warn other dogs to go away. Dog barked to say hi to people. Dog barked to say that people had better watch out and not try any funny business. Dog barked at squirrels. He couldn’t explain why he needed to bark at squirrels. He just did.
Pig was always eating garbage. And then she would track dirt across Hen’s nice clean floor on her way to take a shower. And then she would eat more garbage. And then she would take another shower. When Hen got mad at Pig for taking too many showers, Pig asked Hen if she would prefer it if Pig had a mud wallow instead. After that Hen didn’t complain about Pig’s showers.
Hen tried to keep the house clean. There were always feathers and fur everywhere. Cat didn’t want to sit still to let Rabbit brush her. “I’m a cat,” she would say. “I can clean myself.” Then she would lick off all of her own loose fur. Then eating so much hair would make her sick, and she would throw up a hairball, right on Hen’s nice clean floor. “Ooh, I feel much too sick to clean that up,” she would say. “Hen, can you do it?” Then she would take a nap.
Dog got nervous sometimes. All that barking was hard on him. He had to stay alert all day and all night. When Dog was nervous, he chewed on things. He chewed on Cat’s bed pillow, which got feathers everywhere that weren’t even Hen’s. He chewed on Rabbit’s brush, and Rabbit was angry enough to try to hit him with it. He chewed on a pair of old shoes. None of the animals wore shoes, but the shoes belonged to Goat, who also liked chewing on them, so Goat and Dog had an argument.
Pig would stay in the garbage pen when she was eating garbage. Goat would wander into the pen the day after Hen made spaghetti with tomato sauce, because he loved tomato sauce. He’d pick up the can Hen had thrown in the garbage, and lick it. Pig didn’t mind. There was plenty of garbage. But Goat wouldn’t stay still in the garbage pen. “I have to get back to the petting zoo,” he’d say. “The children want to pet me.” Then he’d walk around with the dirty tomato sauce can in his mouth, letting it drip all over the place. Children thought this was very funny. Hen didn’t.
Rabbit would get angry when she found red feathers in her hutch. “Hen! You’re getting feathers in my hutch again!” she’d say. Hen would get angry because Rabbit shed fur everywhere and it wasn’t fair for Rabbit to complain about Hen’s feathers, when Hen was the only one who even tried to keep the house clean. Rabbit would always say that her fur was putting a roof over all of their heads and paying for the groceries, because six animals ate a lot more than Hen could grow in her garden, so she was always going to the grocery store. Then Hen would say “Well, if that fur is worth so much money why is it all over the couch and not on your spindle?” and then Rabbit would hmph and say that she works hard to sell her wool and she has the right to sit down and watch TV sometimes.
They were all friends and they all worked together to make life better for all the animals in the house. But sometimes friends and housemates don’t always get along so well.
One day Hen decided she was going to bake a loaf of bread. All of the animals loved her bread. Even Cat, who wasn’t supposed to eat bread, because she was a carnivore and it was bad for her. Cat pretended she didn’t really care about the bread, but when no one was looking she would always sneak a slice.
“I’m going to make bread,” she announced. “Who wants to help me buy the supplies I’ll need?”
“Not me,” said Cat, who was running around on the kitchen flour pouncing on nothing. Sometimes she did that for fun.
“Not me,” said Dog, who was at the window looking out into the yard. He saw a squirrel. “WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! AR-AR-AR-AR-AR! WOOF WOOF!”
Rabbit rolled her eyes. “It’s just a squirrel,” she said. “You don’t have to bark.”
“I do! My honor as a dog requires it!”
“Are you going to help me get the groceries?” demanded Hen.
“Oh heavens no. Look at all this brushing and grooming I have to do!” Rabbit brushed her fur.
“Pig, will you come with me?”
“I would, but I’m sooo hungry, I feel like I’d eat everything in the store!” Pig said, munching on yesterday’s garbage. “Sorry, count me out.”
Hen stuck her head out the door. Goat was playing with children. “Goat, will you come with me to the store so I can buy supplies to make bread?”
“Not me,” said Goat, as the children petted him.
“Well! Then I guess I have to do it all myself! I swear I live with the biggest lazybones I’ve ever met,” Hen said, which was probably true, because last time she had housemates they were all chickens. The hens worked hard at laying eggs and sitting on them, and finding bugs and worms and plants to eat, and the roosters worked hard at defending the hens and crowing when it was morning to wake all the chickens up so they could eat. Also when they saw a squirrel, much like Dog. Also when they had an itch. Also when they just felt like it.
Hen went to the grocery store, and got flour, yeast, and vegetable oil. The vegetable oil was very heavy. She’d bought a large one, because it was on sale, but it was very hard for a little hen to drag such a heavy bottle back home, especially with the heavy bag of flour too.
When she got back to her house, she yelled, “This stuff is really heavy! Is anyone going to help me carry it into the kitchen?”
“Too busy!” yelled Goat, who was still getting petted by children.
“If I look away from the window there might be an intruder!” Dog said. “Or another squirrel!”
“Still brushing,” said Rabbit.
“I’d help, but if I look at your groceries, I might get hungry again,” Pig said. “I just now managed to get full enough to go take my shower.”
“Cat?” Hen asked.
“What, are you seriously asking me? Of course not. I’m grooming,” Cat said, licking her fur.
So Hen dragged her groceries into the kitchen and began to make the dough. She put the ingredients in a bowl and began to mix them. “Can anybody help me mix the dough here?”
“What part of ‘grooming’ are you not getting?” Cat asked.
“Maybe if Cat will watch the window for me and let me know if anything dangerous is coming, I could help you mix the dough?” Dog suggested.
“How about no?” Cat said.
“Still brushing,” Rabbit said.
Pig was in the shower, and Goat was outside, so Hen didn’t even ask.
When she was done mixing the dough, it was time to knead it. Wings are not very good at kneading things, so Hen washed her feet in the sink first. Then she climbed on the dough and began to knead it. “I don’t suppose anyone wants to help me knead the dough?” she asked.
“I am hunting a mouse here,” Cat said, which Hen thought was strange, because it looked like she was sitting still on the floor with her tail twitching.
“Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute!” Dog said. “THERE’S AN INTRUDER!” He ran outside, barking. “Intruder! Intruder!”
Rabbit sighed. “Dog, that’s the mailman,” she said, although Dog couldn’t hear her, because he was already outside. Also, he was barking very loudly.
“You’re not brushing anymore,” Hen said. “You could help me.”
Rabbit glared at her. “I am spinning,” she said, feeding the fur from her brush into a spinner so she could turn it into wool thread.
After Hen had kneaded the dough, it was time to make it into a loaf. “Does anyone want to help me make these loaves?” she asked.
But the only one left was Rabbit. Pig was still in the shower, Goat was still being petted by children, Dog was patrolling the property, and Cat had gone outside to hunt mice. Hen looked over at Rabbit, but Rabbit was still spinning. “Humph,” Hen said. “None of you are very helpful. It would serve you right if I didn’t even let you eat any of this loaf.” But Rabbit was paying attention to her spinning, so she didn’t notice what Hen said.
When the loaves were made, Hen put them in the oven to bake. She got out the butter, so it would be nice and soft when it was time to put it on the bread, and then she washed the dishes she’d gotten dirty, and cleaned the counter, and swept the kitchen. None of the animals helped her.
Finally, the loaves came out of the oven. By this time, Rabbit was done spinning, and had finished taking pictures of her wool to add to her catalog, and now she was watching TV. Cat was sleeping in the living room with the TV on. Pig was munching on apple cores and peels from the apple pie Hen had made yesterday, as she watched TV with Rabbit. Dog and Goat were playing cards in the living room at the coffee table.
Hen marched out to the living room. “Well, the bread that I made all by myself is done. Who wants to help me eat it?” she asked.
“I’d love some!” said Pig.
“I could definitely go for bread,” Goat agreed.
“Me, too,” said Dog.
“Bread sounds nice,” Rabbit said.
Cat flicked her ear up and opened one eye. “Maybe,” she murmured sleepily.
“Well, too bad!” Hen said. “Because none of you helped me get the groceries, and none of you helped me bring in the groceries, and none of you helped me make the dough, and none of you helped me knead the dough, and none of you helped me make the loaves, and you definitely didn’t help me clean up the kitchen afterward, so why should you help yourself to any of my bread? It’s my bread and I’m going to eat it all by myself!” She flounced back into the kitchen, fluttering her wings.
All of the animals looked at each other.
Goat followed Hen into the kitchen. “You do know that Rabbit and I made the money that you used to buy those groceries, right?” he asked.
“But you didn’t help buy them. You didn’t help use them. You didn’t help clean up after them. And you never, ever do! I work very hard around here to keep this place clean and cook nice food for all of us and none of you ever help.”
“Well, all right then,” Goat said. “You do your job, without any help, and we all get the benefits. All of us do our jobs, without any help, and you get the benefits too, along with the rest of us. So why is this different?”
“Because you are all being lazy and not helping me at all. I make the food! That’s very important! But you don’t help me do that and you don’t clean up after yourselves and I’m tired of it! So I’m going to eat all the bread that I made.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Goat.
Hen humphed. “Well, you didn’t think helping me was a good idea either, and look how that turned out.”
Goat left the kitchen, and Hen sat down to eat her nice warm bread, with butter and cheese. It was delicious, but she couldn’t eat it all. She had to wrap most of the loaf up for later.
I can have it for breakfast in the morning, thought Hen.
In the morning, though, there was no loaf on the counter. There was a wrapper, and there were crumbs, but there was no loaf.
“Someone ate my loaf!” Hen yelled. “I said very specifically that no one was allowed to eat my loaf because no one helped me make it, but someone ate it anyway!”
“Not me,” said Rabbit, who was on the computer arranging a sale of the thread spun from her fur. “I’m too busy working to eat your loaf.”
“Not me!” said Dog, who then started barking to let Goat know that there were children coming to the petting zoo.
“Not me,” Goat said, “but if you’re not doing anything with that wrapper, I could get rid of it for you.”
“Not me,” said Pig nervously. “I’m, um, going on a diet. I’m fasting today. Sort of. Anyway I didn’t eat your bread.”
“Not me,” Cat said, yawning and stretching, “but maybe I know who did.”
“Then who was it?” Hen demanded.
“There might have been a bold rat or two in here last night looking for something to eat, and it’s possible they got into your loaf,” Cat said, washing herself.
Hen glared at her. “You saw rats get into my food, and you didn’t do anything?”
“Well, you never help me catch rats, so why should I protect your food?” Cat said. “I know you can catch a rat. I’ve seen you eat mice.”
“Rats are much too big for me! If we had a rooster here, maybe he could help you, but I can’t do anything about a rat!”
“Wait, Hen eats mice?” Rabbit’s ears perked up. “Since when?”
“Since always. Chickens will eat anything,” Cat said. “But did she help me catch the rats last night? No! So I didn’t catch the ones who were eating her loaf.”
“I’ll go outside and hunt for rats,” Dog said. “I don’t like rats being in the house! They’re intruders!” He looked over at Cat. “Do you want to come with me?”
“Maybe later. I think I’m going to have a nap right now,” Cat said.
“You just woke up,” Hen accused.
“I did. And it bored me, so I’m going back to sleep.”
Dog left. Goat nibbled at the wrapper. Hen glared at him. “I hear children outside. Aren’t you supposed to go out there and let them pet you?”
“I’m just not feeling it today,” Goat said. “After all, if I go take tickets so that children can pet me, you’ll just take the money and spend it on food I’m not allowed to eat, so why am I bothering?”
Hen huffed and went to the stove. “Well, if you won’t contribute anything to this household by working, I won’t let you have any eggs for breakfast. I worked hard laying these eggs.”
“I could eat some eggs,” Pig said.
“I thought you said you were fasting today.”
“I’m not fasting for eggs!”
“Aren’t eggs baby chickens?” Rabbit asked. “I think it’s creepy that you’re willing to cook them and eat them.”
Hen rolled her eyes, which was very difficult to do with bird eyes, but she managed it. “If I had a rooster for a husband, they’d be baby chickens and I would never let anyone eat them. But I don’t have a husband, so they’ll never become baby chicks no matter how long I sit on them. If you think it’s so creepy, Rabbit, you don’t have to have any eggs!”
“I don’t care,” Rabbit said. “You think no one gets to have any food unless they do your job for you.”
“I just want them to help! I don’t think that’s so unfair!”
“Whatever,” Rabbit said.
Hen tried to turn on the oven, and discovered that there was no firewood in the oven, so she couldn’t get it to turn on. She flapped her wings in exasperation and went outside to get firewood, but there wasn’t any.
“Rabbit! Weren’t you supposed to order more firewood?”
“Was I?” Rabbit was brushing her fur again. “I eat lettuce and greens. My food doesn’t need to be cooked, and my fur keeps me nice and warm, so why should I care about the firewood?”
“Ugh!” Hen shouted. “I have to do everything!”
She went outside to find some firewood. What she found was a pile of trash, with flies buzzing around it. Pig hadn’t eaten any of the garbage from yesterday. Hen stomped back in. “Pig! Why didn’t you eat the garbage?”
“Um, well, I’m fasting?” Pig said.
“No, you’re not, you asked for eggs.”
“I’m fasting for garbage,” Pig said.
Goat said, “Why should Pig eat the garbage for you? You’re the one who cares about how clean the house is, but you wouldn’t even let Pig have some of your bread, so why should Pig do you any favors?”
“Because it’s her job!”
“And making food for all of us is yours,” Goat said. “Excuse me.” He headed upstairs toward his bedroom.
“Well, I’m going to make some cake!” Hen yelled. “And I’m not letting you or Pig or Rabbit have any!”
“Great. Good luck finding firewood,” Goat called down the stairs.
Cat got up and stretched again. “You guys are so loud. I’m going to go take my nap somewhere else.”
“You all should leave,” Hen snapped. “You’re all useless!”
Cat stared at Hen. “I’m leaving because you’re loud and annoying, not because you told me to.” She stalked away.
“I, um, I’m going to find some food in the woods,” Pig said. “Maybe some truffles. I heard I could make a lot of money if I found truffles and sold them.”
“Goat and Rabbit are supposed to make enough money to support us all,” Hen said.
“Right, but if I had my own money, I could buy my own food and then I wouldn’t have to eat garbage ever again.”
“Well, what will happen to this house if you never eat the garbage?” Hen snapped.
“You could eat it, Hen,” Rabbit said. “You’re the one who thinks that everyone has to help do everyone else’s job.”
“Well, if I only cook for myself, then there won’t be enough garbage to worry about!” Hen said.
Before anyone else could say anything, Hen heard strange voices in the house. Human voices. “I can’t find the goat!” a child’s voice said.
“I’m sure he’s in here somewhere,” a human woman said. “Oh, look! It’s a pig, a rabbit and a hen!”
Rabbit got up and bounded away, very, very quickly, leaving her brush behind her. Hen was not as fast. “Oh no you don’t!” she clucked at the child. “Stay away from me!” The child ran toward her. Hen did not want to be petted; she squawked and ran the other way, and then the human headed her way so she ran the opposite way. Meanwhile an older human child was petting Pig, who seemed to like it very much.
“I didn’t know pigs had fur,” the older child said. “It feels just like our hair, Mom!”
“That’s very nice,” Pig said. “Maybe I’ll work with Goat in the petting zoo. It feels nice to be petted.”
Hen was still running in circles. The child came at her from one direction and then the other. She couldn’t escape the kitchen because the child’s mother was blocking the door. “Mom, I just want to pet the hen! Why is she running away?” the child asked petulantly.
“Because I don’t want to be petted!” Hen squawked. She tried to run out the back door, but there were more children outside in the garbage area, complaining that it was stinky; she could hear them through the window.
“Mom, can you catch the hen so I can pet her?” the younger child said.
“Goat! There are children here trying to pet me! Come down here!”
“Naah,” Goat called back.
“But they’re your customers! They’re looking for you, and they’re chasing me!”
“I don’t see how that’s my problem,” Goat said.
“DOG! Help! There are children chasing me!”
“Um, Dog’s not here, remember?” Pig said. “He went hunting rats.”
Hen managed to slip past the grasping child and get out the door. The children who’d been out in the garbage pile had left, complaining about the stink. When the child who wanted to pet her headed for the same door, the child’s mother said, “No, no, there’s stinky garbage that way. Why don’t we pet the pig? We can pet the hen when she comes back.”
“Fat chance,” said Hen, as she flounced away.
Outside, she found Dog being petted. “Dog! You should have helped me! Some of those children came in the house and chased me!”
“You should have let them catch you,” Dog said, his tongue lolling and tail wagging. “These children love animals! I think I want to work with Goat every day!”
“I don’t like being petted,” Hen complained. “Now I can’t go inside my own house because there are children who are intruders, and they’re petting Pig!”
“Does Pig like it?”
“Pig likes it, but I don’t know why,” Hen complained.
“Well, I don’t have to protect Pig from something she likes,” Dog said.
Two tall adult human men, who didn’t have children with them, headed for the back door near the garbage pile. Hen clucked. “Dog! There are humans going to our garbage pile!”
“So? Maybe some humans like garbage. I like garbage, and Pig likes garbage, so maybe humans do too.”
“But it’s embarrassing! I don’t want strangers seeing our garbage!”
“I guess you’ll just have to chase them off, then,” Dog said. “Since you want everyone else to do your job or you won’t help them, we all decided that we won’t help you unless you do our jobs for us.”
Hen scowled. “Oh, so that’s it,” she said. “You all ganged up on me!”
Dog rolled on his back to get a belly rub. “Well, it seemed a little mean to me, but Goat explained that it was fair, because it’s what you did to us. All of us do our own jobs and we all work together, but you act like you’re the only one who does anything to contribute. So if you’re going to be mean to us, I guess we ought to be mean the same way to you? I mean, that’s fair, right?”
Hen squawked. “I work so hard to maintain this house!”
“And I work so hard to protect the house from intruders!” Dog said.
At this point there was a loud shattering sound from the side of the house. Dog leapt up, pulling away from the children petting him, and ran toward the sound, barking. Hen followed.
The television was lying on the ground, broken. The two humans were running away as Pig chased them, squealing. A moment later Goat came out the door and ran after the humans as well. “They stole our television!” Goat shouted.
“I’m on it! WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF!” Dog ran after the two humans, which let Goat and Pig slow down and return to the house.
“Our television is broken because Dog wouldn’t do his job!” Hen said, angrily pecking at the broken TV. “If he’d been protecting the house from intruders, they wouldn’t have been able to just walk in and take the TV!” She fixed Goat with a glare. “And you encouraged him to do that!”
Goat glared right back. “It’s your fault, Hen,” he said. “You didn’t want to do your job for anyone who didn’t help you, even though we all have jobs? Well, why should Dog do his job for you? You could have chased off those intruders! You have a beak!”
“I am a little hen!” Hen yelled. “I can’t beat up a human! All of you except Rabbit would be better at that than I am!”
“Huh, it sounds like you’re saying we all should be working at the jobs we’re good at and not expecting others to step in and do our job?”
“I tried to do Dog’s job,” Pig said. “When I saw those humans taking our television I got mad and I chased them, and they dropped the TV!”
“Which broke it,” Hen said.
“Yes, but I’d rather the television broke than that intruders get to use it,” Pig said.
Dog came back, proudly holding a scrap of blue jeans in his teeth. He dropped it on the ground by them. “I didn’t catch them, but I got their pants,” he said. “I don’t think they’ll be back.”
“I tried to do your job, Dog,” Pig said. “But I wasn’t as good at it as you are.”
“Thanks for trying,” Dog said. “I really appreciate it. And you know I would never stop protecting you if you didn’t help me protect us, right, Pig?”
Pig nodded.
Rabbit came hopping back. “Are there still humans in our house, and what happened to the television?”
They explained everything to Rabbit, and explained everything again to Cat when she showed up. Goat went into the house to clear out all the human children and get them to go wait outside the petting zoo.
“This isn’t fair,” Hen said. “I spend my whole day cooking and cleaning to make the house nice for all of us, and none of you want to help at all. You’re fine with making a mess, but you don’t clean it. And Goat’s job is just for the daytime, and Rabbit can do her work whenever she wants to, and Cat and Dog take plenty of breaks, and Pig’s job is just eating! How hard is that?”
“You’re the one who decided to cook and clean,” Goat said. “You could sell eggs, just like Rabbit sells fur, but you decided to do the cooking and cleaning.”
“But I have to, because you’re all slobs,” Hen said. “Other hens will make fun of me if they see what a mess my house is! If I relied on any of you to keep the place clean, you wouldn’t!”
Cat washed her paw. “Maybe you just aren’t paying attention to what we do. When was the last time you cleaned the bathroom?”
Hen cocked her head. “Cleaned the bathroom?”
“My point exactly,” Cat said. “I make sure that the bathroom stays clean. I can’t remember the last time you bothered with that. I know none of the rest of you care, but I can’t stand a smelly bathroom.”
“And when you use cans when you cook, I clean them out and take them to recycling,” Goat said.
“And when the trash is so smelly even Pig doesn’t want to eat it, I take the bags out to the road for the garbage truck,” Dog said.
“And then you bark at the garbage truck for no reason,” Cat said.
“Well, by the time they come sometimes I forget I’m expecting them…”
“And when there was a leak in the basement, Dog and I dug out the pipes so we could patch the leak, and I ruined my fur for weeks,” Rabbit said.
“But none of those things are things you do every day,” Hen said, frustrated.
“Um, she has a point,” Pig said. “I thought she was mean about the loaf of bread, but it is true that the chores she does have to be done every day…”
“So is protecting the house!” Dog said.
Goat considered. “We all have a lot of work to do, but Hen is right that her job never stops; there are always messes, and we always need food. I can take a day off from the petting zoo and Dog doesn’t do anything if an intruder doesn’t come near the house and Rabbit only brushes and spins when she feels like she hasn’t got enough to sell, but Hen does her job all the time.”
“But nobody needs her to. She’s the one who wants to live in such a clean house,” Rabbit said.
“You complained about my feathers in your hutch,” Hen said.
“Yeah, actually, you did do that,” Cat said. “Anyway, I like a clean house.”
“I wish she wouldn’t clean up all the smells so fast,” Dog said, “but it does make it easier to smell intruders.”
“I like it when things are clean,” Pig said. “That’s why I take showers instead of getting a mud wallow.”
“So I have an idea,” Goat said. “All of us should pitch in and help Hen with chores… just so no one has a job they can’t ever walk away from for a little while. But Hen needs to understand that if we’re doing our jobs, or if we’ve had a hard day of doing our jobs all day and we’re tired, we aren’t always going to want to jump up and help with whatever, especially if it’s not a thing that needs doing. No one needed a loaf of bread yesterday, Hen, that was all your idea.”
“Well, you all wanted to eat it!”
“And you all wanted to watch TV even though Rabbit and I bought it,” Goat said. “That’s not the point.”
“I was hunting mice,” Cat said. “Who will, let me remind you, eat all your flour if I don’t stop them, and then you’re not going to bake any bread.”
“I was at my job,” Goat said. “Which you don’t want to do, and that’s fine, but don’t act like it’s not work.”
“Getting petted is work?” Dog asked.
“It sure is. You need to make sure the kids don’t fight with each other, and that they all get to pet you a fair amount of time, and of course you have to take the ticket money too, and it can be exhausting having to deal with people all day long, especially children. I don’t just lie around and get petted; I have to manage things.”
“And I was brushing and spinning,” Rabbit said, “because I had a big order I needed to ship today.”
“I don’t know how to cook,” Dog said. “I know how to protect the house, though, so I was doing that, because I was afraid I’d mess up if I tried to help you with the baking.”
“I guess I could have been more help,” Pig said. “I was really hungry, but maybe if I’d gotten a snack I could have helped out.” She looked at Goat. “And maybe I could help Goat in the petting zoo. We could take turns taking the ticket money and getting petted.”
“I could help with that too!” Dog said. “But I won’t ignore intruders going into the house just because I’m getting petted, the next time.”
“And I could help you sell vegetables and eggs, Hen,” Rabbit said. “Most of my sales are online, but I do sell yarn at the weekly farmer’s market, so I have a table there. I never asked you before because I thought the whole thing with the eggs was weird, but if they really aren’t baby chicks then I guess I have no reason not to invite you to come along and sell vegetables and eggs. That way you’d be making some of the household money, and so we wouldn’t be upset that you want us to do chores when we all have jobs.”
Hen sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I got mad because I feel like you never help me and I’m always working. I understand you have jobs, but… it was hard to bring home those groceries by myself, and then I had to do all the work to make the bread, and I just got frustrated. I shouldn’t have said you couldn’t have any bread.”
And so the friends made up, and agreed that they would share their workloads more fairly. Hen made another loaf of bread while Rabbit and Dog were out buying a new TV with the household funds, and Goat and Pig shared petting zoo duties. Even Cat went out to get petted, for a little while. Then they all shared the bread, this time.
It was delicious.