(no subject)
screw this shit...i am so sick of it...sick of feeling like nothing...i want to leave here...i hate it here...i barely work while i am at work...my job is dull and boring yet i dont care to go look for a new one...i had a weird feeling while at work yesterday...i felt like i wasnt supposed to be here in vancouver anymore...i felt like i am supposed to leave...like its my time to leave here and try and find some place new that actually works with my life...i am sick of so much...i feel more and more used every day...not for some reasons you people might think but for reasons of my own...i feel like an idiot for letting what i let happen to happen...i guess it only meant something to me and not to you...i hate living at home...i mean even though there's my mom and sister i feel alone and so lonely there...they have lives and i have nothing...i am getting bored of getting stoned all the time...i mean it helps me eat and helps me sleep but other than that its just boring for me now...drinking is just bullshit...i am only ever depressed when i drink but alas i will prolly drink tonight anyways...i work in 20mins but i am most likely just gonna dick around and get told to work and blah blah blah like all the managers have been telling me to do lately...i swear i am gonna get fired cause i am so fucking lazy and dont give a shit anymore...i am done trying to find anyone to be with cause everyone gets bored of me way too quickly and it just hurts cause i feel used...so screw you and thats all