Patriots win, Naked Revelers brain themselves on streetlamp

[alanshb]

So the superbowl is come and gone. And from my safe abode I can just see the remains of naked revelry being carted off by caring friends...Remind me never to let drunken people try to carry me. They've brained this poor girl twice on the streetlamp outside my house on their way home....I can only assume they're dear friends since who else would you allow to carry you while you're mostly naked. Of course it could be a mafia hit, but they seem too inebriated for that. The week leading up to the superbowl has been inconvenient for me...all the places I drive normally have double their normal ration of police officers and half their normal ration of competent drivers. Needless to say this makes driving two tons of steel very reassuring. I've finally found the good side of my horrid dodge caravan....it's a bradley tank in disguise. As I was getting detoured by the police officer downtown on friday he commented that if I hit the train he'd take odds on me. Very reassuring since not a minute afterward another local yahoo hits the train in front of me, requiring me to sit in traffic and fill out a police report (with the aforementioned police officer) "Yes he turned into it. Yes I saw it. No I don't think he was under the influence of anything other than his own stupidity. No he didn't signal. I don't know why he didn't signal, maybe he didn't mean to hit the train? Yes sir, I'll be going." That's the best I can remember of my conversation with the law. Bekah is currently curled up on the couch reading how to catch an heiress (a book by julia quinn) and quoting me bits and pieces. I can only imagine that they're funnier in context...but would you marry a girl named wigglesworth? I wouldn't.

More as it comes to me.
Alan