(no subject)
OMG, are y'all watching the hot mess that is "Pussycat Dolls Presents: Girlicious"? (And also: what's with the dubious grammar in the title? And also also: "Girlicious"? Really?)
I don't know for how long I'll be able to stand it, because my tolerance for Robin Antin encouraging girls to be sexy (read: cleavage), confident (read: cleavage), sexily confident (read: cleavage), and confidently sexy (read: picking up a pattern here...) is severely limited. But for now, it is such an awesome trainwreck.
Also, I love how watching five separate groups do their - auditions/performances/whatever the hell they were? - really demonstrates the limited range of, well, the entire concept. Like, the choreography. There are maybe 10 discrete moves: 1) the sexy walk; 2) the "raise your arm over your head and push your breasts out without moving your head, sexily"; 3) the sexy crouch; 4) the sexy stand up; 5) the sexy hip twitch; 6) the sexy hip swivel; 7) the sexy hip swirl; 8) the sexy "these are my breasts" hand gesture; 9) the sexy "this is my ass" hand gesture; 10) the... nope, nine is all I got.
I mean, seriously - let's not even go into the ridiculously narrow definition of "sexy" promoted by this show, because we'll be here all night and most of the weekend. But, like, mix it up a little, my God!
My favorite part was maybe when this very full-of-herself (you know, the sophomoric "I'm 20 and I'm smarter than everyone else in history" type) girl went on about how she was so sophisticated because, "I've lived on over five continents." So that would be, what, six? Or did you also live in Antarctica?
AND THEN SHE GOT SENT HOME.
Here is the best thing about Girlicious: I was in an incredibly foul mood this evening because a) I am getting sick and I would like very much for that not to be the case, and while I enjoy having a throaty Claudia Black-esque voice, when I wake up and I've gone right through Lauren Bacall and on to Louis Armstrong, that's a problem; 2) work was long and boring and culminated in this meeting in which one of my coworkers - who I usually like - described something as "so fashion", "fashion-forward", "trendy", and "trend-forward" FOR APPROXIMATELY ONE BILLION YEARS and then my head hit the table (not really. My head hitting the table, I mean. It did take one billion years, but it was a small meeting and everyone would have noticed - which reminds me of the one time I fell asleep in class, it was senior year and I was taking this evening intro-to-archaeology class and I was running on approximately one hour of sleep and the class was boring and the prof was showing a video that day and I could not keep my head off the desk, and then all of a sudden the lights were on, so embarrassing; but now I am getting way off-piste); iii) it was cold and slushy and disgusting out, and the sidewalks were nigh impassable (see above re: slushy), and there were too many people everywhere being annoying and getting in my way; four) God damn but for a week during which I got Monday off, this week was unacceptably long; but I came home and had mac & cheese and watched Girlicious and it actually cheered me up!
Here's the wosrt thing about Girlicious: the eponymous pre-fab girl group is, according to Robin Antin, what "every girl will want to be." Aaaaaand my ovaries just pulled their eject levers and burst out of my body with tiny, desperate cries of fear. Ballistic Reproductive Organ Syndrome - ask me how!
I don't know for how long I'll be able to stand it, because my tolerance for Robin Antin encouraging girls to be sexy (read: cleavage), confident (read: cleavage), sexily confident (read: cleavage), and confidently sexy (read: picking up a pattern here...) is severely limited. But for now, it is such an awesome trainwreck.
Also, I love how watching five separate groups do their - auditions/performances/whatever the hell they were? - really demonstrates the limited range of, well, the entire concept. Like, the choreography. There are maybe 10 discrete moves: 1) the sexy walk; 2) the "raise your arm over your head and push your breasts out without moving your head, sexily"; 3) the sexy crouch; 4) the sexy stand up; 5) the sexy hip twitch; 6) the sexy hip swivel; 7) the sexy hip swirl; 8) the sexy "these are my breasts" hand gesture; 9) the sexy "this is my ass" hand gesture; 10) the... nope, nine is all I got.
I mean, seriously - let's not even go into the ridiculously narrow definition of "sexy" promoted by this show, because we'll be here all night and most of the weekend. But, like, mix it up a little, my God!
My favorite part was maybe when this very full-of-herself (you know, the sophomoric "I'm 20 and I'm smarter than everyone else in history" type) girl went on about how she was so sophisticated because, "I've lived on over five continents." So that would be, what, six? Or did you also live in Antarctica?
AND THEN SHE GOT SENT HOME.
Here is the best thing about Girlicious: I was in an incredibly foul mood this evening because a) I am getting sick and I would like very much for that not to be the case, and while I enjoy having a throaty Claudia Black-esque voice, when I wake up and I've gone right through Lauren Bacall and on to Louis Armstrong, that's a problem; 2) work was long and boring and culminated in this meeting in which one of my coworkers - who I usually like - described something as "so fashion", "fashion-forward", "trendy", and "trend-forward" FOR APPROXIMATELY ONE BILLION YEARS and then my head hit the table (not really. My head hitting the table, I mean. It did take one billion years, but it was a small meeting and everyone would have noticed - which reminds me of the one time I fell asleep in class, it was senior year and I was taking this evening intro-to-archaeology class and I was running on approximately one hour of sleep and the class was boring and the prof was showing a video that day and I could not keep my head off the desk, and then all of a sudden the lights were on, so embarrassing; but now I am getting way off-piste); iii) it was cold and slushy and disgusting out, and the sidewalks were nigh impassable (see above re: slushy), and there were too many people everywhere being annoying and getting in my way; four) God damn but for a week during which I got Monday off, this week was unacceptably long; but I came home and had mac & cheese and watched Girlicious and it actually cheered me up!
Here's the wosrt thing about Girlicious: the eponymous pre-fab girl group is, according to Robin Antin, what "every girl will want to be." Aaaaaand my ovaries just pulled their eject levers and burst out of my body with tiny, desperate cries of fear. Ballistic Reproductive Organ Syndrome - ask me how!