Origin myth
Kate Nash's "We Get On" just came up on my iPod and that song always makes me giggle. (Also: Has anyone seen Kate Nash and Lily Allen in the same room? You haven't, right? Discuss.)
My favorite part is the, "My friends all say whatever, you'll find someone better, his eyes are way too close together, and we never even liked him from the start," bit, because it reminds me of what aquestrian once said about Evil Jon* when I was still rather hung up on him, which was that he was not at all worth it because he was only sorta funny and "moderately good-looking around the ears." Truer words.
*Evil Jon, for anyone who doesn't already know slash still cares, is this guy I knew in college, and the focus of a rather obsessive love-hate-love-hate let's-not-call-it-a-relationship-because-it-was-really-more-of-a-fixation on my part. He was a tool, straight up, and I can only plead temporary-but-persistent insanity. On the other hand, he was a major creative wellspring for me, since he was the inspiration for the creation of my cartoon superheroine alter ego, ALANNA of DOOM, so... ill wind and all that, right?
About six months ago I saw this guy on the train platform who looked rather convincingly like Evil Jon, and I thought to myself, not entirely in jest, "Well, fuck, now I have to find a new place to live." Thank God he is, as far as I know, living on the opposite coast.
Here's the most valuable lesson Evil Jon taught me: If you are finally, at long last, completely over someone, and he chooses that moment to suddenly become interested in you? JUST SAY NO. Because if you, say, go to dinner with him, and go back to his room to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" because you don't even have any laundry to do that night? God will send you a sign in the form of an earthquake. (True story.) And if you disregard that sign? You will discover that you, in fact, have negative chemistry powerful enough to wipe the periodic table from the mind of every high school student in the state of California; and you will be left with pervasive feelings of nausea, despair, and self-loathing; and minus one hour of your life that you will never, never get back.
My favorite part is the, "My friends all say whatever, you'll find someone better, his eyes are way too close together, and we never even liked him from the start," bit, because it reminds me of what aquestrian once said about Evil Jon* when I was still rather hung up on him, which was that he was not at all worth it because he was only sorta funny and "moderately good-looking around the ears." Truer words.
*Evil Jon, for anyone who doesn't already know slash still cares, is this guy I knew in college, and the focus of a rather obsessive love-hate-love-hate let's-not-call-it-a-relationship-because-it-was-really-more-of-a-fixation on my part. He was a tool, straight up, and I can only plead temporary-but-persistent insanity. On the other hand, he was a major creative wellspring for me, since he was the inspiration for the creation of my cartoon superheroine alter ego, ALANNA of DOOM, so... ill wind and all that, right?
About six months ago I saw this guy on the train platform who looked rather convincingly like Evil Jon, and I thought to myself, not entirely in jest, "Well, fuck, now I have to find a new place to live." Thank God he is, as far as I know, living on the opposite coast.
Here's the most valuable lesson Evil Jon taught me: If you are finally, at long last, completely over someone, and he chooses that moment to suddenly become interested in you? JUST SAY NO. Because if you, say, go to dinner with him, and go back to his room to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" because you don't even have any laundry to do that night? God will send you a sign in the form of an earthquake. (True story.) And if you disregard that sign? You will discover that you, in fact, have negative chemistry powerful enough to wipe the periodic table from the mind of every high school student in the state of California; and you will be left with pervasive feelings of nausea, despair, and self-loathing; and minus one hour of your life that you will never, never get back.