Pizza
Okay. This was spawned last night from a conversation with… I think it was Miriam and Maru... on Twitter. XD
We were talking somehow for some reason about delivery pizza. And then who would deliver it. There is artwork that goes with this conversation, which may appear at a later date. For now, I will leave you with this. ;P
I apologise for any trauma caused by this or any resulting phobias of pizza delivery guys. :D
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Title: Pizza Delivery
Author: Me
Characters: Poland, Liet, Russia
Pairing/s: kinda Poland/Liet
Rating: uhhhhh…. PG13 maybe? For a tiny bit of swearing, and Russia. (I suck at rating stuff, so sorry if that’s wrong >____<)
Summary: uh. Pizza delivery. Russia. You can see where this is going right?
Lithuania’s ears pricked up as he heard the soft musical chime of Poland’s doorbell. “Ah! That would be the pizza! I’ll go get it Feliks.” Toris almost reluctantly slipped out of the crook of Poland’s arm, where he had been leaning as they watched Strictly. Feliks glanced away from the current couple’s glitter-dipped outfits to half-watch as Toris disappeared down the corridor.
A moment later, a strangled cry echoed from the hallway, and the front door slammed in a panic. “Toris?” Feliks cried, voice high with worry. Poland leapt from the sofa, he could practically hear the terrified trembling of Liet. He rushed through to find Lithuania huddled behind the phone table, staring in horror at the door. “Oh my god! Toris, like, what the hell happened? You look, like, I dunno, you saw, like, a ghost or something.” Toris shook his head violently, eyes fixed on the door. “N-N-No….it….it’s….”
Poland sighed dramatically. “Look, it’s only a pizza guy right? How scary can they…” He stopped speaking as he opened the door a crack. And stared. Then slammed the door. “Shit….shit….. oh shit…. That’s, like,… not right… seriously….” He whispered, a shiver racing up and down his spine. “I told you so…” Liet moaned from behind the table. Poland dragged what little courage he had left, and crouched down in front of the envelope flap. “I’ll just check if he’s gone…” he muttered mostly to himself.
He slowly opened the flap. Only to be confronted by a pair of almost glowing purply-blue eyes, and the hint of a smile on Russia’s face as he gazed through the small hole at Feliks. “Uwaaaah. You ordered pizza, da? It’s getting cold out here you know.” Ivan chuckled as Poland fell backwards, landing hard on his ass, the flap clicking shut. “L…Liet, I’m….uh… gonna go lock all the doors and stuff… so like, you just stay put yeah?”
Suddenly, a strange noise drew their attention back to the door. Very slowly, a single slice of ham and pineapple was poked through the envelope flap, to fall with a slightly wet slap on the polished wooden floor. Then, another piece, and another, until two whole pizzas’ worth of slices were lying in a heap at the bottom of Poland’s door. “That’s 78 zloty, comrade?” Came the terrifying voice, muffled through the door. Poland mindlessly reached for his purse on the table and pulled out a 200 zloty note, more than enough to cover it. He shoved it hurriedly through the letterbox, and felt it being pulled from his grip. “K-keep the change yeah?” Poland stammered after the note, and a soft chuckle slipped into the corridor through the open flap. “Uwaaaaaaah. Thank you. Enjoy your pizza. Kol kol kol kol kol kol…” The most terrifying sound on earth faded slowly as Ivan finally left.
Poland collapsed on the floor, shaking. After a moment, he pulled himself together enough to crawl over to Toris and hold him tightly. He glanced down at Toris as he heard him mumble something. “What?” he asked. Toris looked up at him, eyes glistening, but wide and determined as he stared at the heap of pizza. “Burn it. Burn it all. We should stick to the ice cream.” Poland thought for a second, then nodded resolutely. “Yeah. Like, awesome idea Liet. Ice-cream is good. Ice-cream… is… like… pure. And untainted. Ice-cream. Yeah.”