Irreversible
You know that invisible line that exists between harmless flirting and cheating? I never thought I'd cross it because I never thought I could be attracted to two women at the same time, let alone two women who were also attracted to me. And even though that invisible line as to what constitutes cheating might be different for everyone, no one would disagree that I cheated on the only girl I've ever loved.
If you read my introduction, you would already know about Sally. She still remains the most interesting and exciting girl I've ever met, but last week... Last week I fucked up big time. I don't mean because Sally found another woman's knickers in my bed, but because I got myself into a position where I undressed her in the first place.
See, Maxine works at my office. She's the person who fields all of our calls so I see her every day. We're only in a small IT company, so every Friday, we tend to all head out for drinks with the boss once we close up. We've been working together for about two years, but about two months ago, she broke up with her long-term boyfriend because apparently he'd been a bit of a douche. That led to her talking to me more about why she thinks men suck, except me, because I'm such a good boyfriend to Sally. Well, was. What is it with girls being attracted to guys in good relationships?
So last Monday while we were at work, I mentioned to Maxine that Sally was taking a two day trip down to Margaret River for a bit of rest and relaxation. Maxine said I was awesome to let Sally have some alone time like that, though she may have also speculated that Sally might not have been alone. I trust Sally, though, so I didn't think that was the case. Margaret River, for the record, is one of Western Australia's wine regions, and a couple hours drive from the city. It's a pretty popular local destination for us West Aussies to visit.
Maxine offered to come over to keep me company while Sally was away. Sally and I don't live together, but we see each other pretty much every night. When you love someone as much as I love her, that just tends to be what you do. I said yes because it seemed like Maxine could also use the company, so she followed me home, stopping at Dominos on the way to pick up some pizzas since I didn't feel like cooking.
Whilst I acknowledged to myself an attraction to Maxine when I first met her beautiful blue eyes, I never took that further because I was with Sally. It's only been in the last month with getting to know her on a somewhat deeper level at Friday drinks that the attraction grew into desire. I was interested in spending a bit more time with her, but I didn't think I'd actually act on that desire. I mean, I know the rules. You don't fucking cheat on someone you love.
Sometimes I wonder if women like to test our faithfulness, though. Maxine knew I didn't want to cheat on Sally, but when we were eating the pizza, she still decided to tell me about how wet she'd been getting when talking to me on those Friday evenings. I tried to change the topic and suggested I put a movie on - the entirely un-suggestive Casino Royale. She seemed okay with that, until I stood up and she looked at my pants. I really had hoped she'd look anywhere but there, because that's all the incentive she needed to walk around the table and kiss me.
I know at that point I probably should have sent her on her way because there is no way you can recover a relationship after you cheat. At least that's what I've heard. I'm still not entirely sure what was going through my head at the time to allow that situation to progress further. If it weren't for the fact it would look highly suspicious for Maxine to wear the same clothes to work two days in a row, she probably would have even spent the night. I mean, considering she couldn't find her knickers, she kind of did have to go home for a new pair to wear the next day.
It was Tuesday night that Sally came back to Perth and discovered the underwear. Maybe I should've done a thorough search since I knew they were missing, but I felt guilty as heck for sleeping with Maxine and I guess I subconsciously wanted to be caught for it. I screwed up big time and I'm not entirely sure where to go to from here, but I know I can't just go back to how things were with Sally.
If you read my introduction, you would already know about Sally. She still remains the most interesting and exciting girl I've ever met, but last week... Last week I fucked up big time. I don't mean because Sally found another woman's knickers in my bed, but because I got myself into a position where I undressed her in the first place.
See, Maxine works at my office. She's the person who fields all of our calls so I see her every day. We're only in a small IT company, so every Friday, we tend to all head out for drinks with the boss once we close up. We've been working together for about two years, but about two months ago, she broke up with her long-term boyfriend because apparently he'd been a bit of a douche. That led to her talking to me more about why she thinks men suck, except me, because I'm such a good boyfriend to Sally. Well, was. What is it with girls being attracted to guys in good relationships?
So last Monday while we were at work, I mentioned to Maxine that Sally was taking a two day trip down to Margaret River for a bit of rest and relaxation. Maxine said I was awesome to let Sally have some alone time like that, though she may have also speculated that Sally might not have been alone. I trust Sally, though, so I didn't think that was the case. Margaret River, for the record, is one of Western Australia's wine regions, and a couple hours drive from the city. It's a pretty popular local destination for us West Aussies to visit.
Maxine offered to come over to keep me company while Sally was away. Sally and I don't live together, but we see each other pretty much every night. When you love someone as much as I love her, that just tends to be what you do. I said yes because it seemed like Maxine could also use the company, so she followed me home, stopping at Dominos on the way to pick up some pizzas since I didn't feel like cooking.
Whilst I acknowledged to myself an attraction to Maxine when I first met her beautiful blue eyes, I never took that further because I was with Sally. It's only been in the last month with getting to know her on a somewhat deeper level at Friday drinks that the attraction grew into desire. I was interested in spending a bit more time with her, but I didn't think I'd actually act on that desire. I mean, I know the rules. You don't fucking cheat on someone you love.
Sometimes I wonder if women like to test our faithfulness, though. Maxine knew I didn't want to cheat on Sally, but when we were eating the pizza, she still decided to tell me about how wet she'd been getting when talking to me on those Friday evenings. I tried to change the topic and suggested I put a movie on - the entirely un-suggestive Casino Royale. She seemed okay with that, until I stood up and she looked at my pants. I really had hoped she'd look anywhere but there, because that's all the incentive she needed to walk around the table and kiss me.
I know at that point I probably should have sent her on her way because there is no way you can recover a relationship after you cheat. At least that's what I've heard. I'm still not entirely sure what was going through my head at the time to allow that situation to progress further. If it weren't for the fact it would look highly suspicious for Maxine to wear the same clothes to work two days in a row, she probably would have even spent the night. I mean, considering she couldn't find her knickers, she kind of did have to go home for a new pair to wear the next day.
It was Tuesday night that Sally came back to Perth and discovered the underwear. Maybe I should've done a thorough search since I knew they were missing, but I felt guilty as heck for sleeping with Maxine and I guess I subconsciously wanted to be caught for it. I screwed up big time and I'm not entirely sure where to go to from here, but I know I can't just go back to how things were with Sally.