Where do we go from here?

[alanapsyche]

Change... it happens to everyone. Beliefs change, feelings change.. we grow up, we grow apart... and in the end we are different... we do not usually notice this change until we have molted completely and yet somehow we are surprised it happened

Comments

[orbitalrose]

I’m sorry this weekend was so stressful. I didn’t want you to worry about getting everything done at the last minute, but nevertheless that’s how it turned out most of the weekend- making both of us worried about time constraints from getting everything we needed, being ready, and on the road in time, and all that which comes from deadlines of where you need to be and when, etc.. Also, Lisa only giving notice that we had to be there even earlier, the evening before wasn’t very helpful either.
Most of the whole weekend I didn’t feel I knew what was going on (other than when I was doing what I was supposed to be at a game). I felt kind of alone at times. And I thought we’d maybe having more time having fun, running a game or something together. I know you haven’t been feeling well, and I now know first hand what a pain it is to stand on your feet all day with barely any breaks (let alone time to walk around or relax (or window shop (which I really want to do. Lol)). So if I seemed upset at you or rob, I tell you aGain~ :) ..I was mostly frustrated with time constraints and the situations of not knowing the drill yet, and didn’t communicate that being the problem as much as I should’ve apparently. And if anything else, I was sad that you and Lisa weren’t getting along for whatever arrangements you too had, and that I wasn’t going to spend more time hanging out with you.. I thought I’d be having more fun with my friend (that’d be you, Danielle :P), when it turned out to be more of a job by myself with upset people from one side or another half the time, and I don’t want to be between all that. /: ( ..i know I’m not by myself, I do have some fun ppl to work with too.. I was just looking forward to hanging out more.

Okay, as far as when I gave rob a massage. Simply remind me again not to when it comes up. From my position, Rob is my friend: he looked tired and stressed- when my friends are tired/uncomfortable or whatever, it’s my natural instinct to make them feel better if I sense they are open to it at the time. ..I know you have trust issues with people, but if there is anything I can say or do to reassure you that I’m not out to take anything from you, or make you upset- please show or tell me. Danielle, I am your friend.. I don’t know all the ways you’ve gotten hurt by people or past things.. but I’m not them. It seems like half the time, your reactions of anger or irritation are because you are worried something bad will happen like it happened once.. I don’t know what to do other than promise you I’m not out to hurt you. I want to be your friend, but I can only be your friend as far as you let me.. It feels so much like you’ve been hurt so much by friends, and your upset and angry about it… and I don’t want to push if you’re not open to simply trusting me as a friend, let alone Rob’s.. /: ( ..I told you one night I loved you (sleepily, but still). And that’s something I do tell my friends at times. I meant it. And it means I want you to be happy, and I’m thankful for you being in my life. (and yes, I’m cheesy, but sincere. :p :) I don’t want to add to the list of things it seems you’re upset or worried about.

And about going up to Jen’s Fri. night, that was Lisa’s offer/possible alternative to having more time maybe, instead of getting up even earlier to get Pete Sat. morning. I still have to call him and see how late he’s working. If you guys are working late fri night, that’s cool. I’m just trying to put things together so we might not feel as rushed/tired/whatever next weekend. O-tay?