My Personality Profile
Here's my personality analysis from PerfectMatch.com - hmmmm....
Your type: RBOV - Risk Taker, Relaxed, Optimistic, Seeks Variety
You take chances, believe in yourself and look for interesting life experiences. You are most likely willing to throw yourself into a love relationship in a big way, and you generally want someone who feels the same way. You want someone who is willing to give the relationship the time and priority that you believe in. This would be overkill to many RAOV's; probably not a good choice for you.
Romantic Risk
Possible Test Outcomes R - Risk Taker X - Risk Averse
Why they should be similar: If you’re cautious and you’re with someone who finds caution unattractive - maybe even contemptible - it’s an obvious theater for conflict and fear. A risk taker wants someone who doesn’t feel burdened with someone else’s conservative instincts and fears. A person who is averse to risk is not willing to pay the price of a wrong guess that could lead to bitter feelings and loss. A person who’s attracted to risk doesn’t want to feel like they’re hiding from opportunity and would feel guilty being with someone who was always upset and worried.
Exceptions: If you’re a risk taker who is sometimes scared by your actions, you might feel better being with someone who makes you think twice. Likewise, if you’re someone who feels you’re missing out on some of life’s excitement by having being too cautious, you might enjoy spicing up your life with someone who seems brave, confident and fearless.
Personal Intensity and Pace
Possible Test Outcomes A - High Energy/Type A B - Relaxed/Type B
People who have high energy don’t like being constrained by people who are laid back. A typical example is the person who wants to run out and see every museum on their vacation. The opposite is the person who wants to stop, relax, read a book or stay by the pool all day. The High-Energy person is bored silly sitting by the pool. The pool person finds the High-Energy partner’s pace frenetic and unpleasant.
These characteristics go far beyond vacations. They’re commonly referred to as Type A and Type B people - overall approaches to the world that are completely different. Type A is driven, ambitious and likely to be successful in traditional terms. Type B is more balanced and may invest more time in family and relationships instead of work. Both types might feel the other has their priorities mixed up.
Two Type A’s are the “Power Couple.” Two Type B’s are the content couple in their RV, unconcerned with the pace of other people’s lives and uninterested in worldly recognition, or whatever else they might be missing out on.
Exceptions: Sometimes people are seeking to moderate their own pace. People who are seeking to “stop and smell the roses” may not want another Type A partner who will exaggerate their own incredible pace. Or Type B’s who are drawn to the world of the rich and successful will seek out someone who can fulfill their desire to give their world a boost. The caution here is that the Type B may really be a Type A wannabe, living vicariously through their Type A partner. Or there could be underlying jealousy or projection onto the other person - urging them to be the person they really want to be.
Outlook on Life
Possible Test Outcomes O - Optimistic C - Cautious
Optimistic people don’t want to be brought down by what they see as unconstructive negativity and pessimism. They get their strength from their own sunny outlook. They feel it’s more likely for good things to occur if they operate from an expectation that they will occur. Negativity can make them mad and insecure. However, people who are worried about the down-side of possibilities don’t see themselves as pessimists, but as realists. They often see their sunny opposites as foolish, impetuous, or setting themselves up for disappointment or vulnerability. They may not trust the judgment of someone they think of as reactive or blindly optimistic. They may even see this person as immature or childish and discount their approach or opinion.
Of course, this infuriates the optimist who wants to share their experience of the world with their partner. It has the potential of ruining the relationship. The optimist may feel a too-cautious partner creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and contributes to a negative outcome. They don’t want to be with someone who is raining on their parade.
Exceptions: A person who generally thinks of the glass as “half full” may want to be with someone who brings out the joy in life and helps create more positive expectations. If they don’t downplay the possibility of their partner being correct, they can enjoy their partner’s positive attitude. Likewise, someone who has lived to regret a too-Pollyanna approach to the world, may be looking for a partner who sees the problems and downside of situations with clarity to save them from what they now see as their overly-optimistic expectations.
Predictability or Appreciation of Variety
Possible Test Outcomes V - Seek Variety/Bored by Routine P - Seeks Predictability/Comfortable with Routine
There are some people who prefer to spend every summer at the same lake they visited every summer growing up - and the same lake they want to go back to every summer until they die. Other people can enjoy an experience, but not want to keep repeating it because they feel happier and more alive trying out new experiences. This relates to an overall personality characteristic where some people thrive because their life is predictable and habitual and others thrive because variety is their spice of life.
If people are unlike on this characteristic, there are often struggles about constants versus change. One person will feel deprived of their favorite things and habits and the other will feel stifled by the lack of adventurousness or diversity in the relationship.
Exceptions: If a person has enough predictability and wants someone who can introduce variety, then that person might want someone to bring them out of their structured lifestyle. Likewise, a person who has been having a free and changing life, they may get to a place where predictability is enticing. In that situation, opposites can attract. In real life, this kind of attraction is more likely to occur in a later stage where there has been an excess of one lifestyle for a long time. Then, a person who was happy with the way they lived is more likely to be compatible with someone who is different.
Your type: FCHI - Flexible, Compromiser, Hot, Introvert
You're an easy person to get along with, as long as someone likes and can handle your passionate nature. You are flexible, you negotiate, and you are willing to let the other person direct the relationship most of the time. That means you can get along with someone like yourself, or you can get along with someone more set in their ways that wants to be more dominant in the relationship. Someone who is more rigid than you doesn't threaten you. You know how to negotiate or even submit without betraying your core nature. On the other hand, you can get mad, and it can seemingly come out of nowhere. Given you are a private sort of person, your partner may not know that you have been offended, or you feel something is unfair, before you explode. Someone who has a cooler nature may not understand this or like it. You need to decide whether you are looking for someone who will not respond to any outburst you have (more of a T), or someone who will understand because they act the same way (and H), but where you risk the possibility of a lot of conflict or arguments that get hotter than they should.
Flexibility
Possible Test Outcomes F - Flexible S - Structured
How this impacts the relationship: It makes good sense for at least one partner in a relationship to have some flexibility and not be determined to have things happen only one way. While it’s possible for two partners to be inflexible and highly opinionated about issues or lifestyle choices, this only works if the two people see the world in very similar ways and agree on appropriate actions and feelings. Otherwise, there’s a high chance for conflict as two people "set in their ways" hold their ground. Likewise, if neither partner cares much for how things are done, one or both partners may feel there’s no easy way to come to decisions. Or they might feel strongly about decisions and want to be sure that each partner is really being honest or fulfilled in the way their lives are being lived. Couples who are both highly flexible and have never vested their opinions and worked out their preferences may appear highly successful and perfectly matched on the surface - but may drift apart because they haven’t engaged on matters of importance. A sub-category of this type may be that more rigid partners have a need to plan. Whereas their more flexible counterparts are happy being spontaneous. In an extreme situation, there’s no spontaneity when both partners are highly structured (and life gets boring) or both partners never plan and many things never happen (which gets disappointing).
Power Nature
Possible Test Outcomes D - Dominant C - Compromiser/Follower
How this impacts the relationship: Women are often drawn to a more dominant partner, perhaps because of social expectations or because men usually earn more than women and women often seek men to create security and leadership in their lives. Likewise, men have traditionally looked for women who would create a home, family and companionship, but not to be a peer or competitor in the workforce. This is changing rapidly, but in order to find the right partner, it’s important to be honest about whether or not one is seeking someone who is more, or less dominant, or evenly matched. If a person wants someone to take the lead, they’ll be disappointed if that person wants to share the lead, or be led. If someone naturally dominates, they won’t want resistance or anger. They’ll want gratitude. A new mode is sharing spheres of dominance and allocating times or areas for shifting the burden or privilege of leadership, depending on how you look at it. Many strong "Alpha" females want an even stronger Alpha male to make them feel they can occasionally relax and be taken care of. Some "new men" are happy to take on more domestic roles, or, at least occasionally, have a peer relationship where their female partner takes the lead in decision-making and bread-winning. There are also women who absolutely want to avoid any dominance by a man and don’t want to have their important values or lifestyle choices challenged. A high dominant woman might want a man who is more nurturing than dominant to help create a home life that she may be less likely to provide.
Temperament
Possible Test Outcomes H - Hot T - Temperate
How this impacts the relationship: Two passionate people may do fine together because they’re able to get their feelings out. They also may be more likely to solve their problems because they know who they are. Nonetheless, having equally hot temperaments is more likely to result in destructive conflict. It might be better to find someone who would know when to exercise restraint. On the other hand, when both partners share cool temperaments, it’s possible the real issues get shelved and the couple creates a working relationship that never deals with the issues that need attention. Two people who constantly avoid conflict may become more and more distant and the relationship could just coolly drift away, diminishing in importance and intimacy. A matched style of communication may work well when both partners are neither too hot-headed or too distant and cool. But if the difference in temperaments is significant, it can possibly be good for a relationship. It helps the person who’s passionate become more moderate with their reactions and over-dramatizations. Likewise, the more cool and emotionally rational person can learn to understand emotions and get in touch with their own feelings. Difference in this category may cause some conflict but it will also increase growth.
Emotional Sustenance
Possible Test Outcomes I - Introvert/Self-Nurturing E - Extrovert/People Person
How this impacts the relationship: This classic dimension has been proven to be important in couple compatibility. It’s not so much that individuals have to be the same, but they need to understand their own style, their partner's style and how to know how this will affect their communication, feelings of being nurtured, supported or left alone. People vary on how much alone time they need to regenerate. Some people don’t enjoy or derive comfort from spending time alone. Others need that time to reflect, heal, or make decisions. They may be social and enjoy people but when under pressure, they need personal space, not social support. Other people run to family, friends or co-workers to tell their troubles and get advice and support for their feelings and actions. People who vent and gain strength from the discussion may feel rejected if their partner won’t perform this function. It’s very important to understand if differences exist. If one person is self-nurturing and the other needs the significant people in their lives to be present and engaged, both partners need to understand that neither person is rejecting or harassing the other. They simply solve problems in different ways. If both partners are unwilling to open up and make their partner feel needed, if they never let the other person into their most private distress or private thoughts, the relationship may be emotionally disconnected. Conversely, if someone who gains strength from sharing widely takes their most intimate details out of the relationship, there’s a chance that other relationships would become equally intimate and could lead the person away from focusing on their primary relationship. Some kind of harmony here works best.
There’s one more thing to consider with this characteristic. You may be attracted to someone who is cool and controlled because you mistake their temperament for strength rather than emotional privacy. If someone is both a T and an I, they may not be emotionally available much of the time. This can be fine for two people who have the same emotional profile, but it can frustrate a true Extrovert enormously. Introverts who want to connect more emotionally will do well to find an Extrovert. But Extroverts who seek an Introvert who’s reluctant to modify his or her emotional make-up may feel their partner withdraws from their requests for intimacy and is rejecting them.
Your type: RBOV - Risk Taker, Relaxed, Optimistic, Seeks Variety
You take chances, believe in yourself and look for interesting life experiences. You are most likely willing to throw yourself into a love relationship in a big way, and you generally want someone who feels the same way. You want someone who is willing to give the relationship the time and priority that you believe in. This would be overkill to many RAOV's; probably not a good choice for you.
Romantic Risk
Possible Test Outcomes R - Risk Taker X - Risk Averse
Why they should be similar: If you’re cautious and you’re with someone who finds caution unattractive - maybe even contemptible - it’s an obvious theater for conflict and fear. A risk taker wants someone who doesn’t feel burdened with someone else’s conservative instincts and fears. A person who is averse to risk is not willing to pay the price of a wrong guess that could lead to bitter feelings and loss. A person who’s attracted to risk doesn’t want to feel like they’re hiding from opportunity and would feel guilty being with someone who was always upset and worried.
Exceptions: If you’re a risk taker who is sometimes scared by your actions, you might feel better being with someone who makes you think twice. Likewise, if you’re someone who feels you’re missing out on some of life’s excitement by having being too cautious, you might enjoy spicing up your life with someone who seems brave, confident and fearless.
Personal Intensity and Pace
Possible Test Outcomes A - High Energy/Type A B - Relaxed/Type B
People who have high energy don’t like being constrained by people who are laid back. A typical example is the person who wants to run out and see every museum on their vacation. The opposite is the person who wants to stop, relax, read a book or stay by the pool all day. The High-Energy person is bored silly sitting by the pool. The pool person finds the High-Energy partner’s pace frenetic and unpleasant.
These characteristics go far beyond vacations. They’re commonly referred to as Type A and Type B people - overall approaches to the world that are completely different. Type A is driven, ambitious and likely to be successful in traditional terms. Type B is more balanced and may invest more time in family and relationships instead of work. Both types might feel the other has their priorities mixed up.
Two Type A’s are the “Power Couple.” Two Type B’s are the content couple in their RV, unconcerned with the pace of other people’s lives and uninterested in worldly recognition, or whatever else they might be missing out on.
Exceptions: Sometimes people are seeking to moderate their own pace. People who are seeking to “stop and smell the roses” may not want another Type A partner who will exaggerate their own incredible pace. Or Type B’s who are drawn to the world of the rich and successful will seek out someone who can fulfill their desire to give their world a boost. The caution here is that the Type B may really be a Type A wannabe, living vicariously through their Type A partner. Or there could be underlying jealousy or projection onto the other person - urging them to be the person they really want to be.
Outlook on Life
Possible Test Outcomes O - Optimistic C - Cautious
Optimistic people don’t want to be brought down by what they see as unconstructive negativity and pessimism. They get their strength from their own sunny outlook. They feel it’s more likely for good things to occur if they operate from an expectation that they will occur. Negativity can make them mad and insecure. However, people who are worried about the down-side of possibilities don’t see themselves as pessimists, but as realists. They often see their sunny opposites as foolish, impetuous, or setting themselves up for disappointment or vulnerability. They may not trust the judgment of someone they think of as reactive or blindly optimistic. They may even see this person as immature or childish and discount their approach or opinion.
Of course, this infuriates the optimist who wants to share their experience of the world with their partner. It has the potential of ruining the relationship. The optimist may feel a too-cautious partner creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and contributes to a negative outcome. They don’t want to be with someone who is raining on their parade.
Exceptions: A person who generally thinks of the glass as “half full” may want to be with someone who brings out the joy in life and helps create more positive expectations. If they don’t downplay the possibility of their partner being correct, they can enjoy their partner’s positive attitude. Likewise, someone who has lived to regret a too-Pollyanna approach to the world, may be looking for a partner who sees the problems and downside of situations with clarity to save them from what they now see as their overly-optimistic expectations.
Predictability or Appreciation of Variety
Possible Test Outcomes V - Seek Variety/Bored by Routine P - Seeks Predictability/Comfortable with Routine
There are some people who prefer to spend every summer at the same lake they visited every summer growing up - and the same lake they want to go back to every summer until they die. Other people can enjoy an experience, but not want to keep repeating it because they feel happier and more alive trying out new experiences. This relates to an overall personality characteristic where some people thrive because their life is predictable and habitual and others thrive because variety is their spice of life.
If people are unlike on this characteristic, there are often struggles about constants versus change. One person will feel deprived of their favorite things and habits and the other will feel stifled by the lack of adventurousness or diversity in the relationship.
Exceptions: If a person has enough predictability and wants someone who can introduce variety, then that person might want someone to bring them out of their structured lifestyle. Likewise, a person who has been having a free and changing life, they may get to a place where predictability is enticing. In that situation, opposites can attract. In real life, this kind of attraction is more likely to occur in a later stage where there has been an excess of one lifestyle for a long time. Then, a person who was happy with the way they lived is more likely to be compatible with someone who is different.
Your type: FCHI - Flexible, Compromiser, Hot, Introvert
You're an easy person to get along with, as long as someone likes and can handle your passionate nature. You are flexible, you negotiate, and you are willing to let the other person direct the relationship most of the time. That means you can get along with someone like yourself, or you can get along with someone more set in their ways that wants to be more dominant in the relationship. Someone who is more rigid than you doesn't threaten you. You know how to negotiate or even submit without betraying your core nature. On the other hand, you can get mad, and it can seemingly come out of nowhere. Given you are a private sort of person, your partner may not know that you have been offended, or you feel something is unfair, before you explode. Someone who has a cooler nature may not understand this or like it. You need to decide whether you are looking for someone who will not respond to any outburst you have (more of a T), or someone who will understand because they act the same way (and H), but where you risk the possibility of a lot of conflict or arguments that get hotter than they should.
Flexibility
Possible Test Outcomes F - Flexible S - Structured
How this impacts the relationship: It makes good sense for at least one partner in a relationship to have some flexibility and not be determined to have things happen only one way. While it’s possible for two partners to be inflexible and highly opinionated about issues or lifestyle choices, this only works if the two people see the world in very similar ways and agree on appropriate actions and feelings. Otherwise, there’s a high chance for conflict as two people "set in their ways" hold their ground. Likewise, if neither partner cares much for how things are done, one or both partners may feel there’s no easy way to come to decisions. Or they might feel strongly about decisions and want to be sure that each partner is really being honest or fulfilled in the way their lives are being lived. Couples who are both highly flexible and have never vested their opinions and worked out their preferences may appear highly successful and perfectly matched on the surface - but may drift apart because they haven’t engaged on matters of importance. A sub-category of this type may be that more rigid partners have a need to plan. Whereas their more flexible counterparts are happy being spontaneous. In an extreme situation, there’s no spontaneity when both partners are highly structured (and life gets boring) or both partners never plan and many things never happen (which gets disappointing).
Power Nature
Possible Test Outcomes D - Dominant C - Compromiser/Follower
How this impacts the relationship: Women are often drawn to a more dominant partner, perhaps because of social expectations or because men usually earn more than women and women often seek men to create security and leadership in their lives. Likewise, men have traditionally looked for women who would create a home, family and companionship, but not to be a peer or competitor in the workforce. This is changing rapidly, but in order to find the right partner, it’s important to be honest about whether or not one is seeking someone who is more, or less dominant, or evenly matched. If a person wants someone to take the lead, they’ll be disappointed if that person wants to share the lead, or be led. If someone naturally dominates, they won’t want resistance or anger. They’ll want gratitude. A new mode is sharing spheres of dominance and allocating times or areas for shifting the burden or privilege of leadership, depending on how you look at it. Many strong "Alpha" females want an even stronger Alpha male to make them feel they can occasionally relax and be taken care of. Some "new men" are happy to take on more domestic roles, or, at least occasionally, have a peer relationship where their female partner takes the lead in decision-making and bread-winning. There are also women who absolutely want to avoid any dominance by a man and don’t want to have their important values or lifestyle choices challenged. A high dominant woman might want a man who is more nurturing than dominant to help create a home life that she may be less likely to provide.
Temperament
Possible Test Outcomes H - Hot T - Temperate
How this impacts the relationship: Two passionate people may do fine together because they’re able to get their feelings out. They also may be more likely to solve their problems because they know who they are. Nonetheless, having equally hot temperaments is more likely to result in destructive conflict. It might be better to find someone who would know when to exercise restraint. On the other hand, when both partners share cool temperaments, it’s possible the real issues get shelved and the couple creates a working relationship that never deals with the issues that need attention. Two people who constantly avoid conflict may become more and more distant and the relationship could just coolly drift away, diminishing in importance and intimacy. A matched style of communication may work well when both partners are neither too hot-headed or too distant and cool. But if the difference in temperaments is significant, it can possibly be good for a relationship. It helps the person who’s passionate become more moderate with their reactions and over-dramatizations. Likewise, the more cool and emotionally rational person can learn to understand emotions and get in touch with their own feelings. Difference in this category may cause some conflict but it will also increase growth.
Emotional Sustenance
Possible Test Outcomes I - Introvert/Self-Nurturing E - Extrovert/People Person
How this impacts the relationship: This classic dimension has been proven to be important in couple compatibility. It’s not so much that individuals have to be the same, but they need to understand their own style, their partner's style and how to know how this will affect their communication, feelings of being nurtured, supported or left alone. People vary on how much alone time they need to regenerate. Some people don’t enjoy or derive comfort from spending time alone. Others need that time to reflect, heal, or make decisions. They may be social and enjoy people but when under pressure, they need personal space, not social support. Other people run to family, friends or co-workers to tell their troubles and get advice and support for their feelings and actions. People who vent and gain strength from the discussion may feel rejected if their partner won’t perform this function. It’s very important to understand if differences exist. If one person is self-nurturing and the other needs the significant people in their lives to be present and engaged, both partners need to understand that neither person is rejecting or harassing the other. They simply solve problems in different ways. If both partners are unwilling to open up and make their partner feel needed, if they never let the other person into their most private distress or private thoughts, the relationship may be emotionally disconnected. Conversely, if someone who gains strength from sharing widely takes their most intimate details out of the relationship, there’s a chance that other relationships would become equally intimate and could lead the person away from focusing on their primary relationship. Some kind of harmony here works best.
There’s one more thing to consider with this characteristic. You may be attracted to someone who is cool and controlled because you mistake their temperament for strength rather than emotional privacy. If someone is both a T and an I, they may not be emotionally available much of the time. This can be fine for two people who have the same emotional profile, but it can frustrate a true Extrovert enormously. Introverts who want to connect more emotionally will do well to find an Extrovert. But Extroverts who seek an Introvert who’s reluctant to modify his or her emotional make-up may feel their partner withdraws from their requests for intimacy and is rejecting them.