(no subject)

[alainalo]

do you ever wonder if this is the life you are meant to lead. are you doing it right could someone else do it better than you? why do I feel like lately I fuck everything up. I don't know if I do anything right anymore. I'm not even angry about it or anything I just feel like someone else could have made so much more out of my life. made it more meaningful done something better. It sucks sometimes to have so much on your mind but overall I like it. I love to get lost deep in my thoughts and forget about everything around me. escape to some place where I can make what I want of things.
I love to realize how lucky I am. I am so thankful I am as strong as I am. I see so many girls who can't say no and who get pushed over or used or just sit back and do what someone else wants of them. not to build myself up I won't pretend for a second that I don't have weak moments or do things I don't want to or fall for a guy I shouldn't.
things that have happened recently make me feel stronger than ever that I definitely need to hold off on having sex not that I am anywhere close to that but I just want it to be right.
so I wish sometimes things would play out in real life like it does in my head. or for once things would stick to my plan. but its ok that it doesn't life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get