The World Goes Round!!
I know that I say this alot, but its so true. Life and its curveballs. Only this time the cureball wasn't thrown directly towards me. This week really opened my eyes to how truely lucky I am. I grateful that I have friends and family that care about me, and they won't let me fail.
After I heard about Brian, I was completely taken away. A young guy, who it seems to me was in the time of his life that I just got out of. The lowest point you could possible get to in life. And that is the the point that you don't see to often, the side that you start to tell yourself you'd be better off dead. That is where I feel lucky. I had people to pick me back up and not let me do anything stupid to myself. My family, Rose, Glenn, Aaron, Vinnie, Aunt Marie thank you for being there, what a true family is for. To my friends, Bock, Justin, Frank, Adam, Allie, Roxey, Amanda, Chris, Joey, Nikki. Everyone who was ever there on one of those days I couldn't handle my own life and my mistakes.
Brian Tingley, Rest in peace brother!! You will be missed.
I have joked around in the past about death. I have made unsean comments about that 10 years from now my friends are going to talk about their friend who died of lung cancer. That friend is going to be me. I say it all in fun and games, but the scary part is that in anytime in life, you can lose someone close to you... right in front of your eyes... just when it seemed that nothing was wrong and life is normal... you could watch one of your best friends walking to class, falling over and then dying 20 minutes later.
Jamie, when I heard about what happened to Dan, I wanted to leave work and be there for you too. I can't even imagine what you are going trough right now. Life is crazy and it seems like nothing is fair. I have some news for you. Life isn't fair, it really sucks sometimes, but you just gotta play the cards you are dealt. When people are taken from us, expecially when it is so unexpected and uncontrolable. I don't know why this happened but you have to pray and hope that everything happens for a reason, and Dan is truely happier now.
With so many life changes things going on around me, I have to ask myelf am I living the right life for me. If someting was to happen to me and I was gone tomorrow, would the people I left behind be able to say he was happy? He loved his life and everyone around him? He made the best out of what was given to him? Or would they say, he was a failure. He was a fucking pothead. He wasn't a happy person.
So I question my life and what I have been doing with it. And I agree that is time to make some more changes. I have already brought myself up from what I thought was the hardest part and that is bringing myself up from ground zero. But these next two steps maybe a little more difficult. I have to say good bye to some of the times that have made me the person that I am today. God's greatest herb is going to become a thing the past in my life. Not completely right at first but a great deal. And that has already started. Next step will be the ciggerettes. Fuck em' who needs them anyway!!! It is scary to think about.
After I heard about Brian, I was completely taken away. A young guy, who it seems to me was in the time of his life that I just got out of. The lowest point you could possible get to in life. And that is the the point that you don't see to often, the side that you start to tell yourself you'd be better off dead. That is where I feel lucky. I had people to pick me back up and not let me do anything stupid to myself. My family, Rose, Glenn, Aaron, Vinnie, Aunt Marie thank you for being there, what a true family is for. To my friends, Bock, Justin, Frank, Adam, Allie, Roxey, Amanda, Chris, Joey, Nikki. Everyone who was ever there on one of those days I couldn't handle my own life and my mistakes.
Brian Tingley, Rest in peace brother!! You will be missed.
I have joked around in the past about death. I have made unsean comments about that 10 years from now my friends are going to talk about their friend who died of lung cancer. That friend is going to be me. I say it all in fun and games, but the scary part is that in anytime in life, you can lose someone close to you... right in front of your eyes... just when it seemed that nothing was wrong and life is normal... you could watch one of your best friends walking to class, falling over and then dying 20 minutes later.
Jamie, when I heard about what happened to Dan, I wanted to leave work and be there for you too. I can't even imagine what you are going trough right now. Life is crazy and it seems like nothing is fair. I have some news for you. Life isn't fair, it really sucks sometimes, but you just gotta play the cards you are dealt. When people are taken from us, expecially when it is so unexpected and uncontrolable. I don't know why this happened but you have to pray and hope that everything happens for a reason, and Dan is truely happier now.
With so many life changes things going on around me, I have to ask myelf am I living the right life for me. If someting was to happen to me and I was gone tomorrow, would the people I left behind be able to say he was happy? He loved his life and everyone around him? He made the best out of what was given to him? Or would they say, he was a failure. He was a fucking pothead. He wasn't a happy person.
So I question my life and what I have been doing with it. And I agree that is time to make some more changes. I have already brought myself up from what I thought was the hardest part and that is bringing myself up from ground zero. But these next two steps maybe a little more difficult. I have to say good bye to some of the times that have made me the person that I am today. God's greatest herb is going to become a thing the past in my life. Not completely right at first but a great deal. And that has already started. Next step will be the ciggerettes. Fuck em' who needs them anyway!!! It is scary to think about.