I've been waiting for good news.
I'm apparently not a good enough candidate to receive admission to any school I applied to. Including my safety school.
Ouch.
There goes my plans for the next five years. The $500+ spent on preparations and applications. Hours of GRE study and stress. 15 drafts of worthless essays and personal statements about why I should be chosen.
and then I wasn't.
I wrote some pretty kick ass essays too. dammit.
I can't stay here. It seems like purgatory (which I don't even believe in) would be. The waiting place.
But now what am I waiting for??
this seems a slap in the face that makes me rethink every thing i have already spent too much time thinking about.
i don't want to start over.
so what is next?
i can buy some time with denial, but probably not much.
I miss walking sidewalks with firey loud headphones and winter wind bites. spilling coffee on my tennis shoes. just throw me back in that neighborhood, on the paths with the cracks, and the familiar concrete squares i paced daily to and from campus. i'd never felt so independent in a crowd. ann arbor could breathe life into something as simple as a shoelace or discarded beer can. i need to see that beauty now more than ever.
i never wanted to graduate. i never should have.
"Gonna get ready. I'm already ready."
Ouch.
There goes my plans for the next five years. The $500+ spent on preparations and applications. Hours of GRE study and stress. 15 drafts of worthless essays and personal statements about why I should be chosen.
and then I wasn't.
I wrote some pretty kick ass essays too. dammit.
I can't stay here. It seems like purgatory (which I don't even believe in) would be. The waiting place.
But now what am I waiting for??
this seems a slap in the face that makes me rethink every thing i have already spent too much time thinking about.
i don't want to start over.
so what is next?
i can buy some time with denial, but probably not much.
I miss walking sidewalks with firey loud headphones and winter wind bites. spilling coffee on my tennis shoes. just throw me back in that neighborhood, on the paths with the cracks, and the familiar concrete squares i paced daily to and from campus. i'd never felt so independent in a crowd. ann arbor could breathe life into something as simple as a shoelace or discarded beer can. i need to see that beauty now more than ever.
i never wanted to graduate. i never should have.
"Gonna get ready. I'm already ready."