First fic!

[alabaster_demon]

*drumroll please!*

Title: Canine Conspiracy (prologue)
Rating: G
Summary: Skywarp wants something, Ratchet is annoyed, Perceptor is embarrassed, and Mirage is covered in drool.

This here's just the prologue - very short. Blink and you'll miss it. I'm submitting it for a contest over at tf_bunny_farm .

Comments

[spectrumpheonix]

I hope I see your story soon- it sounds interesting from just the character planning! Good luck :)

If you're new to LJ, welcome XD

[eerian_sadow]

well, i see you got it posted all right. sorry i hadn't returned the beta yet. to be honest, i forgot. i meant to have it finished this morning.

when i read over this, though, i didn't notice any errors. the writing is sound and characterization works so far. and i agree with your potential plot hole, but i think most of us could ignore that in favor of the overall storyline. looks good so far.

[alabaster_demon]

Sorry about posting before you'd gotten back to me - I was dying to get this up before I chickened out. Thanks so much for looking it over! Would you mind if I sent you the next part (whenever it's done) to beta also?

[eerian_sadow]

send away, honey. i don't mind a bit.

and its cool that you needed to post before you lost your nerve. i've had a few of those moments.

[kirin_saga]

*loves* Poor Hound! And it's Perceptor's fault! And Hound is drooling... He's never going to live that down, is he?

And yes, Mirage is definitely allowed a pout and a sigh.

Will Megatron actually allow Skywarp to get a puppy? If he doesn't, I bet Skywarp gets one (Hound) anyways.

Responding to comments a month late... *sigh*

[alabaster_demon]

Nope, Hound is going to remember this entire little episode for the rest of his life.

In my mind, Skywarp doesn't really think in terms of 'what will Megatron allow'. His processor runs more along the lines of 'what can I get away with'.

[cmdrtekk]

Fun so far. Looking forward to more as well as the inclusion of a couple of those mentioned bunnies.

Thank you for sharing.

Responding to comments a month late... *sigh*

[alabaster_demon]

And thank you for commenting!

[ink_in_hand]

I know you said you were putting up the next chap soon, but my decision to comment then was overruled. This is very interesting and definately a new take on the 'transformer-is-turned-into-an-organic' story concept that's pretty common. And the lack of earth knowledge among the Decepticons is well written too.

Just one thing. The paragraph that starts with “The young dog they adopted is only as tall as their knees, not ours." is slightly ambiguous as to whom is speaking. It's Ratchet, but the vocabulary is akin to Perceptor.

[alabaster_demon]

I'm very glad you thought it was original. I was worried it would come off as clichè.

The paragraph that starts with “The young dog they adopted is only as tall as their knees, not ours." is slightly ambiguous as to whom is speaking. It's Ratchet, but the vocabulary is akin to Perceptor.

*rereads* Hmmm, it does sound a little Perceptory. I think Ratchet, as a doctor, could whip out the crazy medical terms if he wanted to, but I hear what you're saying there. *edits* Thanks a bunch for the con-crit!

[ink_in_hand]

Oh I agree that he can be just as verbous when the situation calls for it. Just that in this particular case, with both characters right there it's a little confusing as to which is the speaker.