(no subject)
I dont wanna live here anymore. I wish I had gotten into school in New York so that I could be there right now instead of here. True, I would miss people, and I would be missing out on all the fun we have here, with the christmas tree and the mexican restaurant and the people from the hall and everything with jessica.. but I would also be missing out on all the drama, and thats what I need. I cant do this anymore. I wanna be happy and theres always something going wrong with someone. Theres always the fights.. the same fights over and over again.. the same tears over and over again. If I were 2000 miles away there wouldnt be fights at all. And even if there were, they would be different. Because our lives would be different.. the situations would be different.. I would be different. I dont like who I've become.. I dont like whats happened to the relationships between me and the people I'm close to.. I dont like what has happened to my life. But I dont know how to change it anymore.
Or maybe I do, and I'm just too scared.