(no subject)
i realized something today...when i am out and with other people that arent my immediate family i am a happy nice person but then i come home to my problems and issues, parents, and siblilngs and i realize i am really alone. i dont mean the fact that i am a complete and utter loser but i mean the fact that nothing arounmd me matters. have you ever been surrounded by people but felt as if they werent there and you were just walking throught this fog called life looking at scenery as it flies by? or lived like it? my parents seem to care if i get good grades and if they slip oh well you have to buckle down but i guess its alright for my younger sibling to fail and she doesnt get a word of dicipline. its weird how the honor student on nhs, drill team, thespain troupe secretary is the disappointment. i dont understand it. i dont do one thing and i get chewed out but my siblings can do anything they want with no reprocussions. its bull shit. i can not wait to graduate next year and go to college. i am moving 650 miles away. i cant take this anymore. im through. why do people care about such petty things such as material objects? it doesnt matter what you have or dont have. i wish people would get that through their heads! grrrrrrrrr i hate certain people, things/ideas. im done. i quit. i am going to spend the next year only doing things that will help me get into college and help pay for it.
*night*
*night*