(no subject)
weird dreams tonight...or today rather. at first I was in a large white house with many rooms, inner courtyards, stairways, balconies, and so on. we were decorating for christmas, and there were two trees in the room with my mother, one was nice and traditional off in the corner, and in the middle was a rather ugly one with japanese ornaments on it, many of which were square and placed on the tree in mechanical order somehow. we both kind of giggled that it was very unattractive but it was there because we had a guest who was trying to engage our culture, and then a japanese woman came in. (team global has totally infiltrated my dreams already), and I showed her to one of the inner courtyards. at the bottom, there was a mirror that showed, instead of the ceiling or the sky, the room behind us, and I engaged it mentally and understood how one could take a spiral staircase down through the mirror and walk back into the room behind us, even though the mirror was in front of us. I'm not sure if I explained to her or to myself that our house was set up with many such complicated and impossible tricks to give us the advantage over any intruders or enemies.
from there, I drifted somehow into a hospital room. my father's father was lying there, emaciated and at best only semi-conscious, and there were people waiting, and his wife (my grandmother) was there weeping. I was a spirit in the room, and I filled him with strength, until he was conscious, alert, and could stand up and take out the needles and tubes. his hair came back and his wrinkles disappeared, and he spoke plainly to my grandmother, more alert and aware than I've seen him in many years. she was crying, and there was a note of accusation in his voice - she no longer saw him for the man she married, but for a sick person, she saw his wounds and age, but not himself. she was distraught at this, despite his miraculous healing, so I withdrew my strength from him and he lay back in the bed, an old man, and died.
then, a different place, this time my mother, comforting my grandmother. again, I was a spirit presense there, and this time they knew I was here. my mother wanted proof I was more than just her son, so I whispered to her names of dead relatives I didn't know - I took them out of her mind and reflected them back with my own voice, without ever being aware of them. she was satisfied then, and I explained to my grandmother that her husband had not embraced evil or the occult, and I showed her somehow that he had committed himself to death, and to God, in the same act of resignation...there was some sort of note with a religious theme etched into white stone in a very odd chapel...it was like a sepulchre but with ornate carving that vaguely reminded me of the maya - lots of air could move through the carvings behind the altar on which he lay, and there were two, he was on the left, there was another on the right. there were people there, unrelated to us, who seemed happy but not entirely surprised when the walls of the tomb itself started to sing Kyrie Eleison - one of the most beautiful versions I've ever heard, like most music in my dreams not something I'd ever heard before either. I, as a spirit, was singing with them, but the carvings in the tomb might've been set up to where they sang when natural wind blew through them...I was singing with a dozen voices. I woke up.
I went to ask my mother about her family (to be sure which ancestors were involved with spiritualism, since they'll presumably be the easiest to talk to via spiritualist ritual), to find her crying. she said she was leaving tomorrow at 7am to go back to Indiana to be with and comfort my grandmother (not the religious one from the dream...but perhaps in the dream one stood in for both...neither was quite exclusively my paternal or maternal grandparent), because my grandfather (who has been in intensive care) has had to be restrained...he kept pulling the tubes out and insisting he didn't need to be in the hospital, and they gave him steroids for his lungs, which made him belligerent (though before we heard about the steroids we wondered if the staff might interpret his normal demeanor as belligerent...I've only very rarely seen him cranky, but in the best of moods he's rather sardonic). my mother's mother is really torn up about it, neither of them are in the best of health.
when I heard about that, I told my mother I'd had a dream of my father's father in a hopsital bed, and she said "oh, well your dad did show me an email from his mom saying how she was worried he wasn't going to recover at all from this latest stroke and she's afraid he'll just waste away rather than ever coming back...she wants him to just go rather than wither like that" - which was kind of similar to the dream, actually - as was my mother's comforting my grandmother in a dream place that resembled indiana more than arkansas or pennsylvania...hrm. I hope my grandmothers can endure this, and I hope my grandfathers either heal or go easily...and I really hope the family isn't going to have to be at two funerals 1000 miles away at the same time =/
from there, I drifted somehow into a hospital room. my father's father was lying there, emaciated and at best only semi-conscious, and there were people waiting, and his wife (my grandmother) was there weeping. I was a spirit in the room, and I filled him with strength, until he was conscious, alert, and could stand up and take out the needles and tubes. his hair came back and his wrinkles disappeared, and he spoke plainly to my grandmother, more alert and aware than I've seen him in many years. she was crying, and there was a note of accusation in his voice - she no longer saw him for the man she married, but for a sick person, she saw his wounds and age, but not himself. she was distraught at this, despite his miraculous healing, so I withdrew my strength from him and he lay back in the bed, an old man, and died.
then, a different place, this time my mother, comforting my grandmother. again, I was a spirit presense there, and this time they knew I was here. my mother wanted proof I was more than just her son, so I whispered to her names of dead relatives I didn't know - I took them out of her mind and reflected them back with my own voice, without ever being aware of them. she was satisfied then, and I explained to my grandmother that her husband had not embraced evil or the occult, and I showed her somehow that he had committed himself to death, and to God, in the same act of resignation...there was some sort of note with a religious theme etched into white stone in a very odd chapel...it was like a sepulchre but with ornate carving that vaguely reminded me of the maya - lots of air could move through the carvings behind the altar on which he lay, and there were two, he was on the left, there was another on the right. there were people there, unrelated to us, who seemed happy but not entirely surprised when the walls of the tomb itself started to sing Kyrie Eleison - one of the most beautiful versions I've ever heard, like most music in my dreams not something I'd ever heard before either. I, as a spirit, was singing with them, but the carvings in the tomb might've been set up to where they sang when natural wind blew through them...I was singing with a dozen voices. I woke up.
I went to ask my mother about her family (to be sure which ancestors were involved with spiritualism, since they'll presumably be the easiest to talk to via spiritualist ritual), to find her crying. she said she was leaving tomorrow at 7am to go back to Indiana to be with and comfort my grandmother (not the religious one from the dream...but perhaps in the dream one stood in for both...neither was quite exclusively my paternal or maternal grandparent), because my grandfather (who has been in intensive care) has had to be restrained...he kept pulling the tubes out and insisting he didn't need to be in the hospital, and they gave him steroids for his lungs, which made him belligerent (though before we heard about the steroids we wondered if the staff might interpret his normal demeanor as belligerent...I've only very rarely seen him cranky, but in the best of moods he's rather sardonic). my mother's mother is really torn up about it, neither of them are in the best of health.
when I heard about that, I told my mother I'd had a dream of my father's father in a hopsital bed, and she said "oh, well your dad did show me an email from his mom saying how she was worried he wasn't going to recover at all from this latest stroke and she's afraid he'll just waste away rather than ever coming back...she wants him to just go rather than wither like that" - which was kind of similar to the dream, actually - as was my mother's comforting my grandmother in a dream place that resembled indiana more than arkansas or pennsylvania...hrm. I hope my grandmothers can endure this, and I hope my grandfathers either heal or go easily...and I really hope the family isn't going to have to be at two funerals 1000 miles away at the same time =/