Everywhere and everything
The meaning of my life? To search out and experience the sublime, ethereal, transcendent. This goes to how, first of all, I don't like being attached to a particular time or place. I like to be a thought, bolting place to place around the world and universe. I like to be everywhere at once. This is why I like to travel. I like being able to have a conversation with someone who would be telling me about where they grew up or played tennis in high school in suburban Tokyo or Paris or Honolulu or Sao Paulo or Singapore, the business trip they are making to Chicago, and to be able to say, oh yeah, I was just there. To have a memory and collection of personal experiences of that place so I can picture what they are imagining as they relate this experience to me. It's a way of understanding, or perhaps being, everyone by walking a mile in their shoes at some point in my life. It's an interesting idea, isn't it, to have lived a life in one body but to have been every living person in the world and seen life from their perspective.
This is the frustration I have with many guys and people I meet. Those who have found peace... made peace with their station in life. This is why I am not a true buddhist. I like many things about buddhism, utilize and live it in my daily life. However, at heart I am still a European who feels most himself when he is in control of his destiny and wields the power to shape his experience. The places I am the most myself are Italy, Chicago, Amsterdam. At the dance club. On the Balearic rugged coastline. The night skyscrapers, brick buildings lined up along dark streets, life is mine to control. Where I go, who I have sex with, what I experience. At those times and in those places I was existing completely honestly, telling no lies. LA is the city of beautiful lies, but it is not alone in that. It is a product of its geography and place in the world. It serves a real human need. That's what people should realize about LA. Although people like to hate on it, everyone who comes to visit LA enjoys his time here, exactly because of that point: LA reliably and absolutely meets certain human needs - beauty, peace, shelter, relaxation. Can you build a life out of these alone? That is another question. But you don't have to stay here the whole time. It can just be a home base, a place to hang up your coat when you're not zipping around the universe.