Shadows on the Wall: You Could Already Be A Winner...
[SCENE: A dorm room filled with fancy, perhaps antique furniture. An elegant wardrobe is to one side, a low table (like a coffeetable) in the center, a desk with Queen Anne legs against the back wall (underneath a curtained window) and a heavily carved... bunk bed is on the right. On the bottom half of the bunk bed is what looks like a pile of blankets. On the top of the bunk bed is Gir, lying on zir back and snoring squeakily.
A PHONE rings, with the old-fashioned bell-sound.
The heap of blankets on the bottom bunk moves, and an arm reaches out to take a 1940's style-- very elegant-- phone from the bedside table.]
A-ko: [Holding the phone to the pillow over her head] Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmello?
Mysterious Voice on the Phone: I am delighted to call to congratulate you on being selected.
A-ko: [Hangs up with a cling! noise] Urm.
[A PHONE rings, this time with an electronic edge to it, although it is still the classic phone-ringing noise.]
A-ko: [Pushes her arm out from under the mound of blankets again, this time rummaging under the bed until she comes up with a feminine bedside sixties-style plastic phone, the curved sort with the buttons on the handset. She drags it up to the mound of blankets, the cradle dangling from the curly cord.] Whattisit?
Mysterious Voice on the Phone: Congratulations, Miss A-ko, on your entry into the exciting Great Contest! Your qualifications are--
A-ko: Mmmmmurgh. [She attempts to put the phone back on the cradle, but as the cradle is dangling in mid-air on the end of the phone cord and plunks to the floor upside-down, this is not successful.]
Mysterious Voice: --picked by a discerning panel of judges. Only those with the finest attributes will be allowed to compete--
A-ko: [Sticks her other arm out from the mound of bedclothes and gropes for the phone cradle.]
Mysterious Voice: Grand Prize. Of course, such a prize--
A-ko: [Finally succeeds in bringing the phone together with the cradle in the correct configuration, with a highly satisfying plastic crash. She sets it down on the floor and retreats under the covers again.]
["The Sunlit Garden," electronically rendered, begins to play.
The mound of bedcovers heaves, and A-ko, suffering from a severe case of bed-head, sits up and rummages beneath her pillow. She pulls out a cellphone and flips it open, cutting off the music.]
A-ko: Whatthe-- [picks up an alarm clock, the old-fashioned round kind with the bells on the top, from her bedside table with her other hand, and peers at it closely.] IT'S FIVE-TWENTY-ONE IN THE MORNING!
Gir: [Wakes with a start and sits up.] Morning now? Let's have jellybeans and iced tea!
Mysterious Voice on the Phone: You'll want to hear about your opportunity as soon as possible.
A-ko: Oh, I will, will I?
Mysterious Voice: You are a Candidate for the Great Prize.
A-ko: What?
Mysterious Voice: You've been selected to compete--
A-ko: I'm not interested in any sort of sweepstakes.
Mysterious Voice: Oh, no, this is nothing of the sort. This is a competition and the stakes are very, very high. The selection process is very careful. You should be honored.
A-ko: Honored? [She reaches up and tries to make her hair behave.]
Mysterious Voice: The contest is very difficult and strict. You will receive the documents shortly.
A-ko: But why would I want to compete?
Mysterious Voice: Because this is the Septathalon, and the winner takes all.
A-ko: All?
Mysterious Voice: All.
A-ko: Oh...
Mysterious Voice: We shall expect your entry form shortly, then. [Click.]
A-ko: [Flinging the phone down with the blankets to the bottom of the bed.] Gir! Wake up!
Gir: [Falls loosely out of bed and clanks onto the floor, headfirst.] I like your pajamas. My monkey friend has pajamas.
A-ko: Research mode: Septathalon!
Gir: [Eyes going red] Yes, sir! [Eyes going blue again] Um... what did you say?
[SCENE: A-ko sitting in the Library, with Gir at a table looking at a big picture book and giggling.]
A-ko: I can't find any references to this anywhere. Gir, let me take a look at the materials you've got again.
Gir: [Pops open the top of his head and rummages around with one hand, removing a pair of socks, a startled kitten, a deflated balloon, and finally a stack of papers.] Want a gumdrop?
A-ko: No, thanks, I seem to have one already. [Removes it from the papers, then leafs through the papers carefully.] This is insane, Gir!
Gir: I have gumdrops on my toes!
A-ko: How could anyone possibly get through all this, let alone excel at all this?
Gir: My book is about lemurs.
A-ko: I think I need some help.
[SCENE: A-ko sits at a tea table with B-ko and C-ko.]
B-ko: Why you, A-ko?
A-ko: [Sounding offended] They said it was all about accomplishment.
C-ko: I've accomplished gene-spliced cats.
B-ko: Apparently, that's not what the committee were looking for.
C-ko: And a good thing, too, because they ate all my toast and then flew out the window.
A-ko: Will you two stick to the point? Are you going to help me or not?
B-ko: Well, if you really want to...
C-ko: Why do you want to anyway?
A-ko: Didn't you read the packet? The winner takes all.
[SCENE: In a kitchen. It is probably a kitchen-lab on campus, as there appear to be several cooking stations.]
A-ko: This is insane! C-ko, show me the instructions again!
C-ko: I'm telling you, cheat and get yourself some decent equipment.
A-ko: I can't cheat! It's wrong! Even if I didn't win, I'd feel terrible! And then they would find out and shame me in front of everyone!
C-ko: But no one can turn out a seven-course meal with only a frying pan, a whisk, an apron, and no ingredients.
A-ko: Watch me.
[SCENE: in a dance studio.]
A-ko: On point?
B-ko: Yes.
A-ko: Costumes?
B-ko: I'm afraid so.
A-ko: GIR!
Gir: [Staring at zirself in the mirror. Leaps around and salutes, eyes flashing red.] Yes, my master!
A-ko: Find me costumes!
Gir: [Runs off stage left into the curtain, then backs up, thoroughly draped in fusty velvet] Found something! Um.... what was I supposed to find?
B-ko: But A-ko, without the proper shoes... your feet will bleed.
A-ko: I've heard they bleed even with the proper shoes. Gir! Sewing machine mode!
[SCENE: In the rose garden.]
A-ko: [Offstage. Her voice comes from stage left.] I don't know, Gir.
Gir: You're pretty!
A-ko: I just feel so weird wearing it.
Gir: I want to wear it!
A-ko: [Steps onscreen wearing a long princess-style dress with a big fabric rose on the back and roses on her shoulders] Maybe you should.
[SCENE: A-ko and B-ko and C-ko sit around the tea-table again.]
A-ko: But where will I find provocation?
B-ko: I suppose it depends on what kind.
C-ko: Read that bit aloud again.
A-ko: [Reading from a thick wad of papers] "Extreme coolness of head and politeness of tone even in the face of extreme provocation."
B-ko: Television?
C-ko: B-ko, you just don't think in the right directions. [Leaning towards A-ko, she pats her on the arm.] Don't worry, dear, I have just the thing.
A-ko: What, do you know a lot of very mean people?
C-ko: No, but I have an internet connection.
[SCENE: A-ko and C-ko sit on the bench outside. Behind them is a stone wall decorated with a large rose motif]
A-ko: It should be challenging.
C-ko: Cleaning the entire campus with a toothbrush? Sounds more than challenging enough for me.
A-ko: No, I bet I can do that...
C-ko: [Gives A-ko a disbelieving look]
A-ko: I think I'm going to go for something a little more ambitious.
C-ko: I'm not sure I like the sound of that.
A-ko: I'll clean up our entire Student Council!
C-ko: Um, A-ko? We did that already, remember?
A-ko: Oh. Right. [Looks dejected for a moment, then surges to her feet, holding up one hand and pointing a triumphant finger at the sky] Then I will have to shoot higher and go for the government!
[SCENE: In A-ko's dorm room. A-ko and B-ko sit at the little low table; C-ko is sprawled on the bed. Gir is in zir bunk, bouncing up and down with some kind of headphones on.]
A-ko: I find this phrase quite puzzling.
B-ko: Well, let's have a look. [Looks at the papers that A-ko pushes across the table to her, and reads aloud,] "Must demonstrate the proper use of the creative impulse in terms of not only bringing new people into the world, but also tenderly and minutely guiding their way; if this part of your life has yet to fully blossom, must fully demonstrate fitness of care and love for all such tasks."
A-ko: I mean, really. Do they think all of us have clone tanks?
C-ko: It's not that weird to maintain a clone tank or two.
B-ko: I'm not sure that's precisely what they mean...
A-ko: And I'm not good at all the gooshy science stuff.
B-ko: I don't think this is about science--
A-ko: And this "minutely" business! When will I have time?
B-ko: Well, that's a very good question.
A-ko: I know! I'll build a robot!
C-ko: Using whose tools, may I ask?
A-ko: Gir! Come down from there and stand to be measured!
Gir: [Jumps off bunk and stands next to A-ko, dancing in place to the music on zir headphones]
A-ko: And I bet careful programming will count for "minutely!"
B-ko: I think we had just better hope that it will.
[SCENE: Sitting at a desk, surrounded by piles of paper, A-ko and B-ko look at each one glumly.]
A-ko: Can I volunteer at any of these during the night?
B-ko: Why?
A-ko: Right now, I'm a bit busy during the day. Preparations for the rest of the contest.
B-ko: [Shuffling papers] Not a lot of these want night volunteers. Hotlines are pretty much forbidden.
A-ko: I wonder why?
B-ko: You could donate blood.
A-ko: I'm not sure that's enough. Bone marrow? A kidney?
B-ko: I think they're looking for something a little deeper than that.
[SCENE: A-ko's dorm room. She's sitting at the low table with her head and arms lying across the table, looking exhausted. Gir is sitting on the floor eating potato chips, and B-ko and C-ko are also sitting at the table, looking concerned.]
B-ko: A-ko, this is enough. You're going to drive yourself into getting sick.
C-ko: Or worse. When was the last time you got any sleep?
A-ko: Don't have time for sleep.
B-ko: Why are you doing all this, anyway? I've never heard of this contest.
A-ko: [Lifts her head from the table and rummages through a pile of papers.] It's really amazing. Listen! "The entrants to the contest are chosen with care; you will be competing against the very best, pre-selected for their talents and ability to excel and become the brightest stars in the firmament. The contest itself will test the very limits of your most important abilities."
C-ko: So it's difficult. That doesn't mean it's worth it.
A-ko: But the prize!
B-ko: What is the prize anyway?
C-ko: Yes, you've been sort of cagey about it.
A-ko: The prize is being the best.
B-ko: [looks at C-ko]
C-ko: [looks at B-ko]
B-ko and C-ko: Is that all?
A-ko: [Leaping to her feet] It's EVERYTHING!
B-ko: A-ko, I'm not sure...
A-ko: I am!
C-ko: If being the best is everything, and only one person can be the best, what happens when...?
A-ko: OUT! OUT OF MY ROOM!
[SCENE: A-ko, standing with her hands clasped together, in what looks like some part of the Ohtori campus. There is a desk nearby, with a call bell on it, and a row of gilt chairs. Gir stands behind her, burdened with many boxes, thick reports in binders, and spilling sheets of slides.]
A-ko: Gir, put the stuff up here.
Gir: [attempts to levitate, but zir little rockets are not quite strong enough. A-ko has to give zir a lift up to the desk to deposit the stuff on it] I added some stuff!
A-ko: Right, then. I wonder when I'll find out? [Takes a deep breath, starts walking toward stage left. As she reaches the final chair, she notices something on the seat and picks up a white notecard with a red seal.]
A-ko: I... What can this be?
Gir: An invitation to a party? I like parties?
A-ko: It's addressed to me.
A-ko: [opens it and looks at it. She stands there silently for a moment, then reads aloud in a very even, dead voice] "We regret to inform you that you have not won the Septathalon. There are no prizes for second place, for as we all know, there is no such thing as "almost" winning. Thank you for your participation." [She lowers her hands in slow motion, turning the envelope and the note over and over absently. Then she raises the note again.] What's this on the back? "Your second chance is enclosed."
Gir: [Sits down in one of the gilt chairs and looks off towards the desk, which is now empty.]
A-ko: [Reaches into the envelope and pulls out something small and shiny. She stands there for a moment looking at it, facing left at the extreme edge of the stage. Behind her stretches the line of chairs, and the edge of the desk with the call-bell on it. Then, with a quick movement, she turns and hurls what she holds in her hand down the stage; it flashes once, makes a small metallic noise and all is still.] I've already got one! C-ko made it!
[A-ko turns and runs offstage. Gir hops down from zir seat, goes over to the ring and picks it up.]
Gir: Shiny! [Swallows it.]