The Forest Folk Ruin Japan directed by Jon Beck
I had a strange dream last night…
Jon called together myself, Guy, Sean, Paul Stanton, some people I know from college and some people I didn’t know personally. Jon explained to us that he wanted to create a low-budget movie about a group of forest dwelling pixies/fey-like creatures (dubbed the Forest Folk) whose forest home was being destroyed by the modern world, and their retaliation against this destruction. Jon then explained that the an elite strike force of Forest Folk (each character based off of the people he had gathered to him) would then attack the modern world with an eye for an eye mentality. He wanted everyone to committed all of our personal resources to this project, but assured us that there would also be much swindling along the way as we made our way to Japan (which was the be the focus of the Forest Folk’s anger.) He asked me to create the forest of the Forest Folk, which I did so via cartoon animation in a very Dr. Sues like style. This was hardly your standard forest of magic, as the main pleasures within this society consisted of prostitutes, cocaine and heroine, gambling, feasting, drinking dandelion wine, and colonic purges. I can’t remember exactly what pissed off the Forest Folk so much, but I believe it had something to do with the oldest tree in the forest dying from poison while the leader of the folk (voiced by Patrick Stewart) was giving so long-winded speech. So the Forest Folk who were in fact based off of us were sent out to ruin Japan even more than they had ruin our forest.
From this point forward, the movie would no longer be animated and would take place in live action, which made it very difficult to tell whether or not it was part of the movie or just part of the dream. I do remember that we had no trouble getting to Japan, but when we got there about 90% of the population looked liked they belong Miami, and I think their was only one person who was actually Japanese. The terrain of Japan was just an enormous beach/resort/shopping mall (again very Miami-like.) When we got to Japan Jon spent nearly all of his time lying to hotel manager and getting free rooms (which he refused to share with the rest of us) and getting other supplies we would need to film the movie (like film and cameras). He also insisted we would need a lot of nudity in this movie and was always sending us out to find young attractive women (and on occasion men) to pose nude in various scene. We had a tremendous amount of success in this task and the film was riddled with adult content as a result. Needless to say we all got laid during this excursion; unfortunately everyone who slept with us contracted Genital Herpes and/or Chlamydia because either we or our characters were typhoid Marries of the diseases.
Eventually, we did finish the movie and thoroughly ruin Japan (i.e. Super Miami) in the process (but I can’t remember if we did this only in the movie or in the dream’s ‘real-life’ as well.) The details on how we did this are not clear to me, as after the beginning of the movie I had little to do with the creative process. I do recall discussions about arming the mentally ill with sawed-off shotguns and replacing the water supply with paint thinner, but I don’t know whether there was follow through on these plans. Finally the Forest Folk/we were satisfied and we left Japan with fond farewells. Then the credits rolled for the dream/movie and at the end there was a short disclaimer explaining why Kyle was not feature in either. Then I woke up.