2008-12-24 Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, etc etc.
Well it's Christmas eve at last. The holidays are nearly over. I feel a sense of relief, but I still have to survive dinner at Louise's tomorrow. I keep fretting over what hair and makeup I'll be doing, what to wear, if my cookies turned out ok, will my batteries last the night.
I'm nervous.
This never happens on holidays for me. Usually I just let my family take over and I sit back and enjoy the festivities around me. But not this year. This year is spent in a foreign country with almost in-laws and I'm a nervous wreck.
And I'm homesick. My family is getting together to tonight to open gifts and eat lots of good and traditional Christmas food. My mom is even going to church for the fun of it, and she's not religious at all. I wish I could be a part of all that.
You know I've been here almost a year now and I still haven't picked up any functional french. I suppose it would help more if I actually consistently studied. Still, I feel like a disappointment. To his family mostly. I feel like I'm never going to fit in and be one of them.
Mom says that just happens with in-laws sometimes. She never got along well with my dad's. But at least she didn't have to see them a lot and her own family was nearby. I don't have this luxury. My family is thousands of miles away from me.
Still, I'm going to try and make the most of Christmas this year. I'll be open to the new experience and just enjoy the dinner. Maybe I'll even play some silly board games with them instead of just filming or taking photos. I really and seriously hope nobody bought my xmas gifts. I really don't want anything. I'd feel bad because I have no money to buy them anything.
Oh well.
I hope everyone else's xmas goes well.