Hm...
1) People are fucking idiots. If the back doors to the science building are locked at 7pm on Sunday, then the doors (which are rarely unlocked during the week in the day) are NOT going to be open, either. Okay, that aside...
2) Why does it have to be Sunday? I don't want the weekend to be over. I don't want to have to be back at school - I'd rather still be out of town... Oh well. Guess I'll just have to live with it and help count 45-90 petri dishes.
3) This is fun if you can appreciate the torture of phone menus. Sometimes, my sister sends me things that are just so worth passing on to those who understand the way my mind malfunctions.
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have depression, it doesn't matter which number you press, no thing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
2) Why does it have to be Sunday? I don't want the weekend to be over. I don't want to have to be back at school - I'd rather still be out of town... Oh well. Guess I'll just have to live with it and help count 45-90 petri dishes.
3) This is fun if you can appreciate the torture of phone menus. Sometimes, my sister sends me things that are just so worth passing on to those who understand the way my mind malfunctions.
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have depression, it doesn't matter which number you press, no thing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.