My dads rules
Anne,
So here are the rules....the way we are going to be able to work this out. If you don't want to follow each and every one of these rules, then you will have to find another place to live sooner, rather than later. I think it is a terrific idea that you have in trying to be more assertive...however, please remember that you need to "pick your spots". In other words, being more assertive in your personal relationships is good, in balance. Being more assertive with your mom, me, Jan, (people who support you SIGNIFICANTLY, both financially and emotionally) is not good. We are adults, and we have traveled a long road to acquire the maturity and knowledge that we have. So, be careful, and respectful...Sorry, but that is the only way I can see to be a father.
MORE ON THESE "RULES"
You are expected to do everything, every day, that is daily.
You are expected to do everything, every week, that is weekly.
You are expected to follow the every moment rules exactly...and to be cooperative and respond appropriately (no arguments, no 'attitude') to criticism and correction.
DAILY
Make your bed
Straighten your room
Straighten your bathroom
Clean your dishes, load the dishwasher with them (nothing in the sink) Unload the dishwasher if needed.
Get all homework and study done BEFORE any other activities begin.
Exercise of some type.
Watch your diet.
Asleep by 11:00 PM, Awake by 7:45 AM, except on Fridays...(6:30 AM)
WEEKLY
Dust the family room, living room, dining room, kitchen area.
Clean your bathroom.
Clean your bedroom, wash your sheets. Vacuum your floor.
Clean your fishbowl.
Do your Laundry MID WEEK.
Weigh in on Sunday.
Wash your car.
HOURLY -- OR EVERY MOMENT
Maintain a "school first" attitude in each and everything you do.
Use only your given name..no nicknames, no new names, nothing like that, not around here or where I or your mom can see it, ever. You can make that decision later.
Use your computer only for school and communicating with family and friends via e-mail. No surfing, no sites, nothing else.
Be a good 'room-mate'. Focus on doing the things you need to do in order to take care of yourself as an adult. (Time management, personal hygiene, etc.)
-----------------------------------------------------
Those are my dads rules for me. I can agree with most of them, and will do my best to fulfill the ones I agree with. The two in bold are the ones I REFUSE to go along with.
I will ask my parents what they would have named me if I had been born male, and possibly go with that. But I will NEVER again in my life go by "Anne" by choice. Never.
I also refuse to use the computer for just school. I have certain "life lines" like this journal and other social networks and I need them. I can cut back on my Internet use, but it will not cease.
That is where I draw the line. Apparently, even that is enough to get me thrown out of this house. "If you don't want to follow each and every one of these rules, then you will have to find another place to live sooner, rather than later." I will be printing these out and showing them to my therapist, and hopefully we can get something worked out. I'm willing to have a joint meeting between my doctor, my dad, and myself if it comes to that. I will not waver on this.
So here are the rules....the way we are going to be able to work this out. If you don't want to follow each and every one of these rules, then you will have to find another place to live sooner, rather than later. I think it is a terrific idea that you have in trying to be more assertive...however, please remember that you need to "pick your spots". In other words, being more assertive in your personal relationships is good, in balance. Being more assertive with your mom, me, Jan, (people who support you SIGNIFICANTLY, both financially and emotionally) is not good. We are adults, and we have traveled a long road to acquire the maturity and knowledge that we have. So, be careful, and respectful...Sorry, but that is the only way I can see to be a father.
MORE ON THESE "RULES"
You are expected to do everything, every day, that is daily.
You are expected to do everything, every week, that is weekly.
You are expected to follow the every moment rules exactly...and to be cooperative and respond appropriately (no arguments, no 'attitude') to criticism and correction.
DAILY
Make your bed
Straighten your room
Straighten your bathroom
Clean your dishes, load the dishwasher with them (nothing in the sink) Unload the dishwasher if needed.
Get all homework and study done BEFORE any other activities begin.
Exercise of some type.
Watch your diet.
Asleep by 11:00 PM, Awake by 7:45 AM, except on Fridays...(6:30 AM)
WEEKLY
Dust the family room, living room, dining room, kitchen area.
Clean your bathroom.
Clean your bedroom, wash your sheets. Vacuum your floor.
Clean your fishbowl.
Do your Laundry MID WEEK.
Weigh in on Sunday.
Wash your car.
HOURLY -- OR EVERY MOMENT
Maintain a "school first" attitude in each and everything you do.
Use only your given name..no nicknames, no new names, nothing like that, not around here or where I or your mom can see it, ever. You can make that decision later.
Use your computer only for school and communicating with family and friends via e-mail. No surfing, no sites, nothing else.
Be a good 'room-mate'. Focus on doing the things you need to do in order to take care of yourself as an adult. (Time management, personal hygiene, etc.)
-----------------------------------------------------
Those are my dads rules for me. I can agree with most of them, and will do my best to fulfill the ones I agree with. The two in bold are the ones I REFUSE to go along with.
I will ask my parents what they would have named me if I had been born male, and possibly go with that. But I will NEVER again in my life go by "Anne" by choice. Never.
I also refuse to use the computer for just school. I have certain "life lines" like this journal and other social networks and I need them. I can cut back on my Internet use, but it will not cease.
That is where I draw the line. Apparently, even that is enough to get me thrown out of this house. "If you don't want to follow each and every one of these rules, then you will have to find another place to live sooner, rather than later." I will be printing these out and showing them to my therapist, and hopefully we can get something worked out. I'm willing to have a joint meeting between my doctor, my dad, and myself if it comes to that. I will not waver on this.