Updation
Okay, so Bat Boy has been eating my soul, but it's over now and I'm updating. My computer also nearly died, so yeah. One of the actors in Bat Boy is in a band, and they rock. www.project-g-nome.com His name is Jon and I dig him a lot. We knew each other for an entire month before we ever really talked, I mean seriously, and when we did the other night...it was amazing. I told him how I was molested when I was four and he actually cried. Not wept, for that would be unmanly. No, he shed a few tears, but they were for me. He didn't mention them, nor did I, but I was moved. Not even my mother cried when she found out. I denied the impulse to wipe them away for him. I shouldn't have denied that impulse. As an actor, they tell us never to deny our impulses. Things like this remind me why. But it's okay now. By the end of the night, I was comfortable hugging him and touching his arm and I even touched his hair at one point. It'll take me a while to be brave enough to touch his face, but I did kiss his cheek at least. At one point in the evening I told him how I've never even been asked out and that it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, and he got this tender tone in his voice and he said, "There is -nothing- wrong with you." In that moment, I swear I felt my heart constrict. Later he walked me to my car and we had our arms around each other. It was such a new feeling, and I do not want that to go away. Then I drove him to his car and he gave me his number and we hugged and there was mutual cheek kissing and it was really nice. Really nice is an understatement. I was in a haze when I got home. A beautiful haze. I mean, nothing happened, nothing was decided or undertaken, it was simply us being two people who liked each other. And I was cool with that. That's what I've been missing in my life up til now. So he's been hurt a lot and is therefore apprehensive about relationships and has declared himself asexual, but that's okay. He will be mine. Oh yes! He WILL be mine! I have decreed it thusly.