thought it was all over....

[akslm624]

so today wasn't the best day for me. today was court. those who dont know why i went, dont need to know. so, in order to clean up my record completely(which is what they want to do) ive got to pay around $1400 in 6 months. doesn't sound THAT hard eh? well it is, because my job wont be able to back me up with the cash i need. just not enough hours. sooo, ive decided to stay with that job(because its FUN!) but find another one that requires more hours. so hopefully that'll turn out fine. im praying. its weird, i start praying whenever i need a miracle. but whenever i dont, its whatever. and thats not right if you ask me. but anyways, i mean, im HAPPY that i get a second chance, because its the best thing for me. but at the same time, i could be using that money for my car er school. but like my mom said, its an expensive lesson. and one that i've learned. i just wish i could go back and change time. but besides that nothing really happened today. just running around getting things done. didn't go to work today. which i should've. but im really feeling a state of depression brewing. and its REALLY pathetic if you ask me. because i dont get depressed. at all. im always the one that makes a positive side to every negative thing. but not this time. i feel like theres absolutely no hope to anything. which i know i shouldn't because life IS awesome. im just not feeling the awesome side to it right now. so,wake up call to everyone out there: the world is alot more cold than you think. and no, this isn't some stupid ass emo entry saying how i want to kill myself. lol. because trust me, that has NEVER crossed my mind and NEVER will. ever. i just feel alone right now, thats all. all i want to do is drive. dang, im REALLY tired right now. im sure thats why i feel like crap right now. haha. tomorrow is another day. :D and i'll get over whatever the hell is bothering me somehow. so tomorrow is john-john's scrimage thing. im excited. i just wish it wasn't so early in the damn morning. i cant WAIT to see him play! wooooO! my varsity STUD! haha. :D
seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:
told ya i'd eventually be positive. ;D
thats all for now.*