im back...

[akslm624]

so today was pretty depressing..i went to school and "SOMEONE" that pissed me and alex off brought my charger today. good job. BUT then he starts telling our friend shit that isnt even true. son of a - . well anyways i tell him something he cuts me off and tells me that im nothing anymore not even human. that really hurts. and in case u didnt know, things like that hurt me. i can only take so much from him. being called an asshole or a bitch or anything like that dont affect me. its the more meaningful things that matter to me. because AND U KNOW that everytime u fight with someone they could be the sweetest person on the planet but u call them a bitch or they have NEVER had sex with anyone and u know that but u call them a slut. its inevitable so y worry about it? y let it hurt u? i dont. so anyways...him and my friend just left. like it was nothing. everything i told him that was supposed to be a secret he already told.  :( i dont even know who my real friends are..ive lost 4 this year. but u know something? im gonna be strong. i dont need them. THEY gave up to easily. not me. it may have been my fault but i apologized. "HE" wouldnt accept it even though i did nothing to deserve this. but u know something else? i hope alex is happy...because i gave up a friend for him. just for him. but its not all his fault because due to this argument, ive realized what type of person "HE" is. so thanks alex. :) really it wasnt any of his fault. lol. i just dont want him to say he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore and then what? ive lost a friend and now he once again walked out? i cant have that happen. if i lose him again....hes not really even mine. but then again he is. im so confused. but if he walks out again...i have to move on. ive said that how many times now? u see what love can do to u? i love him. pure love. i would do anything for that boy. lets just hope he feels the same way about me and does something about it. if not...oh well ive lost him before. i can make it. well hey enough of my bitching and wining. i better go to sleep. i realllllyyy dont wanna go to school tomorrow. but like my mommy said "you dont cry, you're strong" thats right mother -'s i dont cry and i wont. ive gotta just keep to what im doing.
-<3-
ash*