(no subject)
Well...life never ceases to be interesting does it? Someone once said that to me when I found out how I'd been deceived by him.
I worked last night 4 till close, first with Danielle then with Michelle. We weren't uber busy, just steady enough to keep my mind at work. Tige came in to see me for a while but I couldn't just hang out. There are things that need done when I'm at work and besides - I didn't have anything to say to him. He was all mopey when he left.
Amanda called me, crying, and said that she needed to talk to me about some things that have been bothering her for about a year (translation- the things she found out when she read my diary which no longer exists). Great. Not 15 minutes later Tige calls asking if I've heard from Cortney. She isn't home, she went for a walk and he's going out looking for her. Great. Why should I even go home? So now I have to look forward to another exciting night of "discussion" about my failing marriage. I surmise that Tige went home upset and started grilling the girls about me, so Amanda (being Daddy's little angel) decided to spill her guts about me having and affair which consequently upset Cortney and now I have to come clean about everything. Great.
So I get home. Go to the kitchen to clean up everyone else's mess (as usual) and set the coffee for the morning. Amanda's not home. Tige is still up. He comes down to "talk". Finally - the honesty. All the flowers and sweet talk in the world won't make up for the 18 years or so of taking me for granted. Seriously, no one in the world believes that you can get gonorrhea from the toilet so tell the truth. Finally. Daddy's not so perfect anymore is he? And Mom's maybe not quite the bad guy you thought she was. He cheated on me a long, long time before I ever had my little fling. And his lasted a lot longer. AND he brought home a sexually transmitted disease. How's that for honesty? I love you and I care for you but I am not in love with you anymore and I don't know that I ever will be again. I don't want you right now. I don't want anyone else either. It's about fucking time it all came out into the open. He still thinks things will be okay. His rose colored glasses must be stapled to his head. I'm preparing for the end.
Divorce sucks. This I know from experience. But at least we don't hate each other like my parents did. And the kids aren't little. Not that it makes it any emotionally easier for anyone involved, but it makes it physically easier.
Today was supposed to be a happy day. The kids were all excited about Tommy coming home for a week. I just want to sleep and maybe it will all go away. Wishful thinking.
Well, I have errands to run before I work today (1pm till 10:30pm) so I'd better get my ass moving. Sorry I'm such a fuck up with everything I touch.
I worked last night 4 till close, first with Danielle then with Michelle. We weren't uber busy, just steady enough to keep my mind at work. Tige came in to see me for a while but I couldn't just hang out. There are things that need done when I'm at work and besides - I didn't have anything to say to him. He was all mopey when he left.
Amanda called me, crying, and said that she needed to talk to me about some things that have been bothering her for about a year (translation- the things she found out when she read my diary which no longer exists). Great. Not 15 minutes later Tige calls asking if I've heard from Cortney. She isn't home, she went for a walk and he's going out looking for her. Great. Why should I even go home? So now I have to look forward to another exciting night of "discussion" about my failing marriage. I surmise that Tige went home upset and started grilling the girls about me, so Amanda (being Daddy's little angel) decided to spill her guts about me having and affair which consequently upset Cortney and now I have to come clean about everything. Great.
So I get home. Go to the kitchen to clean up everyone else's mess (as usual) and set the coffee for the morning. Amanda's not home. Tige is still up. He comes down to "talk". Finally - the honesty. All the flowers and sweet talk in the world won't make up for the 18 years or so of taking me for granted. Seriously, no one in the world believes that you can get gonorrhea from the toilet so tell the truth. Finally. Daddy's not so perfect anymore is he? And Mom's maybe not quite the bad guy you thought she was. He cheated on me a long, long time before I ever had my little fling. And his lasted a lot longer. AND he brought home a sexually transmitted disease. How's that for honesty? I love you and I care for you but I am not in love with you anymore and I don't know that I ever will be again. I don't want you right now. I don't want anyone else either. It's about fucking time it all came out into the open. He still thinks things will be okay. His rose colored glasses must be stapled to his head. I'm preparing for the end.
Divorce sucks. This I know from experience. But at least we don't hate each other like my parents did. And the kids aren't little. Not that it makes it any emotionally easier for anyone involved, but it makes it physically easier.
Today was supposed to be a happy day. The kids were all excited about Tommy coming home for a week. I just want to sleep and maybe it will all go away. Wishful thinking.
Well, I have errands to run before I work today (1pm till 10:30pm) so I'd better get my ass moving. Sorry I'm such a fuck up with everything I touch.