In My Room (1/4)
Title: In My Room (1/4)
Pairing: Kyuwook
Genre: Angst
Warning: Hinted rape.
Rating: NC 16
Summary: Ryeowook gone missing and Kyuhyun is worried about his safety.
Strolling in the woods, there was a dilapidated house deep inside the woods. My legs took me closer and closer, I was standing in front of the house. My hands reached out for the rusty door. I gave a little push and it creaked opened. Everything here was dark, wet and dirty, sunlight barely shine in. I saw some evidence of human habitat… Who could bear this environment and live here? I heard some sound … Who was that whimpering?
I could tell the noise was coming from this room. I walked toward the room, there wasn’t any door, only a curtain hanging as the door. I took a peek inside and I saw some movement on the bed… It was shivering under the torn, stained sheet. The sheet could barely keep him warm…
“I miss you… Hyung…” Such a familiar voice… I came closer and took a look. The bed was stained with white sticky stuff and red patches.… Could it be…? I heard a loud smash; I quickly took a look outside. There were a few guys walking in.
“It should be MINE turn to play with him today.” I could hear chattering of teeth sound coming from the person hiding behind the bed sheet. Play with him? The picture was getting clearer and clearer… The white stick stuff, the blood stained sheet, him shivering in fear… They rape him? How could someone be so brutal? I thought this kind of stuff only happens in movie or stories?
“Alright, whatever. I just fuck him tomorrow.” The three other guys left the house unsatisfied, the tall one came in. He didn’t seem to notice me… What was actually happening? The guy pulled the sheet away from the boy… Everything was clear, his hands and legs were covered with bruise and red marks were all over his body. His clothes was all torn, it almost seems like he wasn’t wearing anything. He was tortured real badly. I walked closely to see his face… Ryeowookie? Is that you Wookie? His face were covered with bruises, I could only feel the flame of anger started burning inside of me.
“Get away from me.” He tried pushing the taller guy away but failed. The guy unbuckles his jeans easily. Ryeowook were near to tears, Ryeowoook grabbed his hands and took a bite. The guy screamed in pain and gave a tight slap across Ryeowook’s cheeks. His cheeks turn red immediately and blood was flowing out from the corner of his lips.
“Slut! If you want to play rough, I’ll play with you.” he smirked and pinned Ryeowookie on the bed. The guy started licking and sucking on Ryeowook’s neck… His other hands were running all over Ryeowook’s body, touching Ryeowook sensitive parts. He kissed him roughly on the lips, when Ryeowook wanted to scream for help again, that guy forced his tongue into his mouth, silencing him. Tears poured down his cheeks, as he tried to push and pull away from the seemingly possessed man with all his might.
“GET OFF!” I went forward but I couldn’t move…. I keep shouting but it doesn’t seem to get into his ear. He pulls off Ryeowook’s last clothing…Ryeowook wailing for help, tears was flowing down his face. Wookie! Wookie!
“WOOKIEEE!!! Get YOUR PAWS OFF FROM MY RYEOWOOK!” DAMNIT! I couldn’t save him… I just stood there shouting and shouting but I couldn’t save him.
“You LOVE the pain, don’t you? Soon you will enjoy the pain, I’m giving you.” The desire of his eyes, Ryeowook was badly frightened by it. He thrust into Ryeowook without preparing him, soon blood was flowing out.
I saw it with two very eyes, him being raped brutally in front of me, yet… yet I couldn’t save him. I clenched my fist tightly as my knuckles were turning white. It just breaks my heart seeing him like that. It feels like knife stabbing in my heart. Ryeowook… Wookie… Miannhae… Mianhae…
I close my eyes in this sleepless night
And you dance in my thoughts
I get so upset at myself, who knew nothing
I turn on the lights and look around my room
Cold sweats broke out, I could feel that I was sweating. I woke up from the nightmare, but everything looked so real. Ryeowook… Ryeowook… Please, come back to me. If you are anywhere in this world, come back to me… I won’t scold you for leaving me like that… I just want you to be safe… Minnie… Please… Please come back…
I couldn’t sleep anymore… I don’t want the same dream keep haunting me again and again. Damn that Heechul-hyung, keep saying stuff that freak me out. I get off from my bed and pulled my heavy feet to the light switch. I slid down slowly along the white wall and lean on the wall.
Everything seemed incomplete without you. Ryeowookie… Please come home. I miss you so badly… I promise I will always say that I love you every night before you go to sleep. I will agree to any condition that you want, right now, I just want you back to my side… Come back… Ryeowook… I really need you.
The place where my two faint eyes are placed on
is where I placed the birthday present I didn't throw away
and everything of you
I looked at the photo frame on the computer table. It was the very first gift that you gave me when we got together. The shy innocent smile and expression I could still see and feel it.
-Flashback-
“Kyuhyun!” His innocent smile appeared in front of me. I rubbed my sleepy eyes. What is he doing in the middle of the night?
“Ryeowookie? What wrong?” I yawned tiredly.
“TA-DAH!” He held out the present in front of my face and shouted energetically. Right in front of my face was a nicely wrapped present.
“Happy Birthday, Kyu! Do you like it? I hope to be the first one to say happy birthday to you!” I didn’t know what to say. Somehow waking me up in the night get me mad, wanting to be the first one to say happy birthday… I just couldn’t be mad at his innocent thoughts. I looked at the clock, it was 12am in the night now…
“Unwrap it!” I unwrap the present as fast as I could so that I could go to sleep sooner. It was a photo frame and with a very special photo in it.
“Do you like it?” His big puppy eyes stared at me. It was a photo of Ryeowookie kissing my cheek. No wonder he kept kissing me this few weeks… I thought he just love kissing me… I laughed at my silly thoughts. I place the photo frame carefully on the table. I kissed his forehead and smiled.
“I love it. Thanks, Wookie! Now, let’s get some sleep or you won’t grow tall.” He nodded in happiness. He wanted to go back to his bedroom, but I pulled in back.
“Sleep in my room tonight? Kay?” I switch off the lights and went back to bed. My hands wrapped around him and he laid his head near my chest.
“Thanks Ryeowookie… Thanks for everything.”
-End Flashback-
Cause you were my sun, the moon
You were my everything and
Everything in my room seems to miss you
I closed my eyes tightly, trying my best to feel your presence. What I get was a tear flows down from my face. Ryeowook, don’t you miss teddy? Mr Bear is waiting for you to suffocate him again, hug him so tightly in the night. I am still waiting for you to come back and look at me with puppy eyes telling me to buy you ice cream… I brought two tubs of ice cream waiting for you. It is your favorite, chocolate and vanilla. I won’t restrict you to only eat a cup, if you could, I will allow you to finish the whole tub. Ryeowook please come home… I beg you…
Morning sun came shining into the room, it morning now… I didn’t sleep last night. I got up and get my face washed up and get ready for another day without you. Another day missing you…
“Morning hyungs…” I greeted them politely.
“Kyuhyun, why do you look so tired?” I gave a cold stare to Heechul-hyung and back to the breakfast in front of me. No matter how nicely Hangeng-hyung and Leeteuk-hyung had prepared. It is tasteless without Ryeowook eating with me or snatching it with me.
“Chill, did you have a bad dream? I didn’t mean what I said yesterday… Yesterday I already got earful from Leeteuk-umma. Sorry Kyuhyun, I didn’t mean to say those words to scare you.”
“Enough!” They were startled by my loud voice. Everyone froze and looked at me. I had lost my temper again. Without Ryeowook being there, I just can’t control my temper. I snigger at myself mentally.
“I’m sorry. Let’s don’t talk about this, shall we?” I tried to soften my voice a little but still a hint of frustration in my voice. They nodded in unison. I shouldn’t be so rude to them, I was just so upset.
I was too tired and I tried to forget you for a moment
our hidden memories still linger
it remain cause you're still in my room
I went back to my room after the unpleasant breakfast. Memories of you keep flooding back to my mind. How could I ever forget thinking about you? I quickly changed into my jogging attire. It was another way to lessen my misery.
Wandering the sea of life and all the lost dreams
are in the corners of my desk drawers
you were hidden within them
“Hyung, I going out for a jog.” I told Yesung-hyung, who was sitting in the living room watching news. I played the MP4 while I jog around the park. The song kept repeating, it was playing ‘Romantic’. It was the song that we both like; it was like our theme song. Hearing this song, it could help to lessen the pain of missing you. I had passed this place for the N time… I had lost track of time and rounds… When I got back home, it was already evening. How long have I been jogging?
When I got back, I went to take a bath… My mind was in a mess now… It was just a dream but it could just send me to the road of miserly… I just hope it was all a dream… Nothing but my silly dream… I closed my eyes and took a rest. Finally, my mind went blank.
“Kyu?! Kyu?! Are you alright? You have been in there for quite some time.” I quickly opened my eyes, someone was calling me.
“Yeah? I am alright Hyung. I will be out in a minute.” I got myself clean up and walked out of the bathroom. My legs took me back to my room; I went to sit down in front of my desk. It was like a habit, I would every day sit down here. I opened the drawer, it was his diary. I took out and place it carefully on the desk. I started flipping the pages. I stopped at the date where I confessed my love to him.
Dear Diary,
Guess what happen today? Kyuhyun confessed to me!!! I am SO HAPPY! Aren’t you happy for me? This means that from tomorrow onwards, I don’t to find silly reason to be hug by Kyuhyun anymore… I can hug him whenever I want to. He is now bathing right now, I am just going to wait for him to sleep so that we could sleep together tonight in his bed. Leeteuk Umma was glad that Kyuhyun felt the same for me! But somehow, he threatens him not to do something… Kangin-hyung and Yesung-hyung just tell him to be nice to me and do not pollute my innocent mind… What was that? I am not so sure, maybe I ask EunHae-Hyung(Eunhyuk&Donghae) tomorrow. It was something related to my innocence. I guess? He is coming out now! Maybe I will write more tomorrow! Good night Diary!
A bitter sweet smile was on my face, Ryeowook… I am still waiting to read your new entry. You have stopped writing for quite some time now… I continued to flip through the pages, another entry that caught my eyes. It was on the month where I kept hiding from you because I can’t stop my desire.
Dear Diary,
I don’t know why Kyuhyun kept rejecting to sleep with me. What wrong? Do I have BO? I wasn’t growing older neither my birthday had passed. Why did he keep saying I am old enough to sleep alone? I shouldn’t be afraid of the dark, rain and thunder. All those funny reason that had never came from his mouth, came out now. What wrong with him this few weeks? How I wish I could be hug by him again at night. I just want to feel his warm, the warm from his body that warmth my heart every night. Was I asking too much? I talked about it with Leeteuk Umma, he just told me to give some time and let Kyuhyun clear his thoughts. I just hope Kyuhyun will clear his thoughts soon… So I won’t have to sleep alone in the cold night. It was the 22th without Cho Kyuhyun now…
I remembered that 22th day. Leeteuk-hyung came and talk to me about it. I know, I shouldn’t take away Ryeowookie’s innocent so soon so I have to do this. I am just terrified by my desire. What would I do if I lose control? But we got back sleeping together after that month and our relationship has gotten closer and closer. Suddenly the strong wind blows and flipped to another page… The day after I took away his innocent…
Dear Diary,
I woke up quite late today, I was quite tired. Until now, I still feel sleepy even though I had slept almost the whole day. I could feel aches all around my body. Umma told me it was normal, it will go away a few days later. I didn’t know why Kyuhyun looks as if he did something wrong. It was me who initiated it. All I could do now was just to give Kyuhyun a big bear hug and again fall asleep in his arms. At least now he won’t deny my existence neither reject hugging me too sleep. I found myself doing that so often for this few weeks. I just love the warm he gives me everything he hugs me. I just hope Kyuhyun doesn’t give me that look.
This gives you another reason to come back right? So why won’t you come back now to my side? Do you know how much I miss you? How much I miss to hear your voice? A slip of paper slips out from the diary. It was a post-it-note.
Memories box is under my bed^^
I laughed slightly. You actually know that you will forget and wrote a note to yourself… Memories box… I stood up and walked to Ryeowook’s room. It was empty; nothing had change not even the furniture of the room. No one has ever touched anything in this room…
A picture of you I found in a box, under a layer of dust
A love letter filled with my young heart
and everything of you
I dragged the blue box out under his bed and blew away the dust. I slowly and carefully opened the lid of the box. What I saw were lots of photos and CDs. I looked through the photos; it was the failure product of kissing my cheeks. I smiled sweetly to myself. I took one of the CD and read it using the computer. My heart was pumping fast as the CD was read by the computer. What I saw was a lot of folders full of pictures. It was all about me and Ryeowookie…
I didn’t notice that we took so many photos in these few years we spend together. Just a shot few years and there were more than fifteen CDs. Ryeowook cherished every photo we took, he would save it. My heart hurts even more… Now, I finally realized that you cherished the moment more than I do. I just feel like I am total jerk, an asshole.
Cause you were my sun, the moon
You were my everything and
Everything in my room seems to miss you
I was too tired and I tried to forget you for a moment
our hidden memories still linger
it remain cause you're still in my room
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I didn’t need to look back and I know who it was.
“Leeteuk hyung, you don’t have to console me. I’m fine.” I lied, I wasn’t. He cleared his throat and started speaking.
“The police said that…they..They found Wookie in an a.. Abandon house.” I quickly stood up and grip on tightly to Leeteuk-hyung.
“Then what are you waiting for! Let GO!” Kangin-hyung came in suddenly and stopped me.
“Kyuhyun, you have to stay calm, listen to me. Ryeowook is in the hospital right now, when we get there, don’t get restless. Whatever they say, you have to stay calm.” I nodded quickly and pulled them along with me.
“Even if I throw it away,
again and again
I want to call you
And hug the crying you in my arms
And keep you right here
Cause you were my sun, the moon
You were my everything and
Everything in my room seems to miss you
I was too tired and I tried to forget you for a moment
our hidden memories still linger
it remain cause you're still in my room”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC. There is FOUR parts to this story^^ So so so what do you think? Should I continue or just throw it away and making a new one? Actually I already finish this story about a month ago but but im scare you guys don’t like it. Now I got my confident to post it. Please don’t kill me coz I’ll make baby Wookie hurt, I’ll promise, Wookie will got his happiness at the end of the story. Comment is love (: