i've gotten used to the taste of blood
sometimes i sit and wonder if i'll ever be good enough you know? If i'll eer amount to being that person, that you look at and think " wow..what a cool person". I watch these movies about love and watch my friends who've got these great relationships and i'm so jealous. I can't find anyone to hole me, love m, just call me to see how i'm doing. Its so nice to just get a note saying i loe you, or a big hug, just for being you..but being me has never gotten me anywhere..i'm still alone and scared that i'm never going to find that person, that one..everyone's got that one thing about them that drives ppl to them, that one thing that talent or physical feature that is so great...i'm yet to find mine, i don't have that..i look so hard into myself to find the words to tell me that i'll be okay, that i don't need reassurance, but i do..i've heard such anger and hate from my dad and brothers for so long that it's been instilled in me..your wrong i'm right. I don't need pitty or superficial crap from you ppl. I just want love, a hug, a reminder that your here for me that you care. I don't understand why you hate me so much, im ur own flesh and blood..you'd rather make me bleed than tell me you love me, tonight, when you busted my lip..i didn't cry..first time in a long time i didn't cry...why, because i deserved it..i deserved it...? I left mad at you..and now, when i get up in the morning and see the bruise...i'll still hate you...