HBP Ramblings from a Cynical Bitch
Have split my thoughts on HBP into those I have as a watcher of films, and those I have as a lover of Potter.
HBP AS A FILM
(i.e. what I would make of it if I didn't give a damn)
Overall: It's all right. Very pretty, with some gorgeous little details. A bit stodgy; quite slow. Boring in parts. Maybe someone should tell the director that darkness + drawn out scenes does not necessarily tension make. Dull script - the shining moments of the film are probably the little comic turns (Ron, Cormac, Lavender, etc.).
Acting: Poor from children. Where do they FIND these kids? At least Grint has comic timing, which is more than can be said of Radcliffe, Watson and Wright. Evanna Lynch can act - she should have been used more. Tom Riddle was very creepy. Tom Felton was good fun. Adults easily the most watchable, though - Rickman's Snape is (oddly) possibly the most likeable character. Radcliffe's Potter is v. annoying.
Romance: Ron and Hermione are sweet, in an understated way. Though what Hermione sees in Ron is kind of hard to see, as he doesn't ever speak. The protagonist's romance was slightly bizarre. Poor old Potter could have done with a bit more snogging.
Plot: Just about comprehensible; possibly the easiest to follow yet.
Ending: Bit weird and anticlimactic, but is obviously setting up the next film. ... Oh, and why aren't Harry and Hermione together, again?
HBP AS A HARRY POTTER FILM
Representation of Characters:
+ Evanna Lynch was perfect; pity I'm not much of a Luna fan.
+ Lavender did her job, and she did make me giggle.
+ Felton was wonderful! I've always thought he was far and away the best actor of the original children. I used to attribute this to Malfoy being more two-dimensional than Harry, Ron or Hermione, and thus the easiest to play, but now that HBP has come along and three-dimensional Malfoy has burst onto the screen I feel Felton can finally get his dues - the boy can act! I also feel strongly that Felton's Malfoy is the only character who strongly resembles his book counterpart, though I suppose that might be more to Kloves' credit than the actor's. (Loath though I am to give Kloves credit for anything. It was probably an accident.)
+ Riddle was overall good, though I have two quibbles: (1) I would really have liked to have seen him show some genuine fear of Dumbledore in the orphanage scene, and (2) he played him way too weird to have been a student Slughorn would have been comfortable with. Tom Riddle is supposed to be extraordinarily charming. Slughorn liked charming students. Not students who have "I AM A FUTURE SERIAL KILLER" tattooed on their foreheads in neon pink.
+ Despite being a massive lover of Ginny, I have nothing really to nitpick about her portrayal: that character was basically unrecognisable, so I don't know where to start. Oh well.
+ Dumbledore - Gambon was all right I suppose, but I hate Kloves' Dumbledore with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. Call me old-fashioned, but I find Dumbledore with no humour, no style and very little benevolence a bit crap.
+ The filmmakers are wimps for making Slughorn so wholesome - he was so nice. Slughorn is the epitome of the teacher who thinks it's OK to fancy the sixth formers because "they're nearly adults, eh, what what?" My impression of Rowling's Slughorn is that he's generally likeable (well, I liked him) but ... he does make your skin crawl a bit. I never thought those comments about Lily's "vivacity" were supposed to be entirely PG-rated. Broadbent's Slughorn was sweet, but - I missed the old pervert. Personally I think it's a huge pity they wasted Richard Griffiths on Uncle Vernon ... Slughorn is just a 12A-rated Uncle Monty, surely?
+ Personally, I found the most watchable person to be Alan Rickman, of course, being someone who can, y'know, ACT, but also because he's a very charismatic actor. My beef with him is that he plays Snape as someone with far, far too much style. Rickman's Snape never, ever loses his cool ... which I swear is all Rowling's Snape does. I always find myself rooting for Snape in the films; he always comes across as by far the sanest and least annoying person. :/
+ Oh yes what happened to Neville??? Apart from becoming a house-elf?? Actually i quite liked his desperation to get into the Slug Club. :x
+ I swear Bellatrix is supposed to be scary.
Plot Butchery: No problem with the added/removed scenes. I think they picked and chose well - as I noted above, I think this film might be the one that makes the most sense to an outsider. Think there should have been more ~DRAMA~ in the end scenes - I didn't mind the lack of battle, but the Death Eaters could have marched off with a little more gravitas. The Snape vs. Harry "I am the Half-Blood Prince" scene was pants; I reckon that's at least partly due to Rickman's Snape being a badass rather than a cringing, frutrated man who spits when he's angry. One thing I think they really should have slipped in - the reason why Snape called himself the "Half-Blood Prince", i.e. that his mother's maiden name was Prince. The uninformed kids in the row behind me were all "Snape's royal???" at the end.
Romance:
+ Ron and Hermione - largely unrecognisable, but OK. I missed their passion. I missed the brutality of the birds (again, wimpy filmmakers). I feel a bit iffy about the whole hospital wing scene ... it was OK, but that scene is possibly my very favourite Ron/Hermione scene, so any deviation upsets me :////
+ Harry and Ginny - the more I think about it, the more I think ... what even WAS this? I suppose my complete lack of attachment to Wright's Ginny has saved me being filled with rage over the relationship and instead I'm more just ... bemused. So basically we're told that hero fancies girl, by Wonder Hermione of course, hero and girl look at each other utterly without emotion a few times, hero makes a couple of throwaway comments, girl auntie-pecks hero in way that makes her seem like a big fat CREEP, and hero and girl never get it on ... it's like the EXACT OPPOSITE of what happened in the book! Again, oh well.
Ginny getting to her knees on The Burrow's stairs is however WIN x a million squillion.
Script: I think "You need a shave, Harry ... because you are getting older ... TIME IS PASSING" probably sums it up. It was Kloves. What can we do?
Ending: Shocking. Wrong on so many levels. Grr. Then again, as peachespig has pointed out, Hagrid could have walked in and they could have all started clapping. I suppose we should count our blessings.
I'm sorry, this all seems quite miserable, doesn't it? I did actually enjoy it v. much, despite thinking it was pretty pants. I'm sure no one believes me, but I have fully enjoyed ripping this film (rather gently, you must agree) to pieces; in fact, I feel rather drunk. I am drunk on fandom. To cheer you all up, here are some things I enjoyed without reservations:
+ Harry and the waitress at the beginning
+ Aragog's funeraaalllllllllll!
+ Tonks' "sweetheart"! I liked how Remus/Tonks was just ... there. Because they didn't need to do it, but they did.
+ All the Quidditch! So much love.
+ CORMAC. I would hit it with a truck. (I have such bad taste in men.)
Questions:
1. OK so ... do you think that when Harry had to be all lucked-up, they told Dan to "just be yourself"? That is completely the impression I got.
2. When Harry and Ginny kissed Dan had to stand on a box, y/y.
3. Show of hands, please, of the men-fanciers among us who would leave Film Dean for Film Harry? ... Thought so.
Observations:
So film Harry has had two kisses and one pseudo-blowjob in his life? That is going to be one frustrated boy in DH.
And, uh ... Ron's hair smells of toothpaste?
Poor boys.
One thing: hbpchallenge!! I'm thinking of doing it. Actually I already have something appropriate (shh I'm a cheat) but it's already 4000 words and the limit is 1000 so ... yeah. But I think you should all have a look at it anyway :D
p.s. Ugh Ron is so fit.
p.p.s. I wish I still had my "Ginny Weasley puts out" icon that was actually made by Harmonians. Good times.
HBP AS A FILM
(i.e. what I would make of it if I didn't give a damn)
Overall: It's all right. Very pretty, with some gorgeous little details. A bit stodgy; quite slow. Boring in parts. Maybe someone should tell the director that darkness + drawn out scenes does not necessarily tension make. Dull script - the shining moments of the film are probably the little comic turns (Ron, Cormac, Lavender, etc.).
Acting: Poor from children. Where do they FIND these kids? At least Grint has comic timing, which is more than can be said of Radcliffe, Watson and Wright. Evanna Lynch can act - she should have been used more. Tom Riddle was very creepy. Tom Felton was good fun. Adults easily the most watchable, though - Rickman's Snape is (oddly) possibly the most likeable character. Radcliffe's Potter is v. annoying.
Romance: Ron and Hermione are sweet, in an understated way. Though what Hermione sees in Ron is kind of hard to see, as he doesn't ever speak. The protagonist's romance was slightly bizarre. Poor old Potter could have done with a bit more snogging.
Plot: Just about comprehensible; possibly the easiest to follow yet.
Ending: Bit weird and anticlimactic, but is obviously setting up the next film. ... Oh, and why aren't Harry and Hermione together, again?
HBP AS A HARRY POTTER FILM
Representation of Characters:
+ Evanna Lynch was perfect; pity I'm not much of a Luna fan.
+ Lavender did her job, and she did make me giggle.
+ Felton was wonderful! I've always thought he was far and away the best actor of the original children. I used to attribute this to Malfoy being more two-dimensional than Harry, Ron or Hermione, and thus the easiest to play, but now that HBP has come along and three-dimensional Malfoy has burst onto the screen I feel Felton can finally get his dues - the boy can act! I also feel strongly that Felton's Malfoy is the only character who strongly resembles his book counterpart, though I suppose that might be more to Kloves' credit than the actor's. (Loath though I am to give Kloves credit for anything. It was probably an accident.)
+ Riddle was overall good, though I have two quibbles: (1) I would really have liked to have seen him show some genuine fear of Dumbledore in the orphanage scene, and (2) he played him way too weird to have been a student Slughorn would have been comfortable with. Tom Riddle is supposed to be extraordinarily charming. Slughorn liked charming students. Not students who have "I AM A FUTURE SERIAL KILLER" tattooed on their foreheads in neon pink.
+ Despite being a massive lover of Ginny, I have nothing really to nitpick about her portrayal: that character was basically unrecognisable, so I don't know where to start. Oh well.
+ Dumbledore - Gambon was all right I suppose, but I hate Kloves' Dumbledore with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. Call me old-fashioned, but I find Dumbledore with no humour, no style and very little benevolence a bit crap.
+ The filmmakers are wimps for making Slughorn so wholesome - he was so nice. Slughorn is the epitome of the teacher who thinks it's OK to fancy the sixth formers because "they're nearly adults, eh, what what?" My impression of Rowling's Slughorn is that he's generally likeable (well, I liked him) but ... he does make your skin crawl a bit. I never thought those comments about Lily's "vivacity" were supposed to be entirely PG-rated. Broadbent's Slughorn was sweet, but - I missed the old pervert. Personally I think it's a huge pity they wasted Richard Griffiths on Uncle Vernon ... Slughorn is just a 12A-rated Uncle Monty, surely?
+ Personally, I found the most watchable person to be Alan Rickman, of course, being someone who can, y'know, ACT, but also because he's a very charismatic actor. My beef with him is that he plays Snape as someone with far, far too much style. Rickman's Snape never, ever loses his cool ... which I swear is all Rowling's Snape does. I always find myself rooting for Snape in the films; he always comes across as by far the sanest and least annoying person. :/
+ Oh yes what happened to Neville??? Apart from becoming a house-elf?? Actually i quite liked his desperation to get into the Slug Club. :x
+ I swear Bellatrix is supposed to be scary.
Plot Butchery: No problem with the added/removed scenes. I think they picked and chose well - as I noted above, I think this film might be the one that makes the most sense to an outsider. Think there should have been more ~DRAMA~ in the end scenes - I didn't mind the lack of battle, but the Death Eaters could have marched off with a little more gravitas. The Snape vs. Harry "I am the Half-Blood Prince" scene was pants; I reckon that's at least partly due to Rickman's Snape being a badass rather than a cringing, frutrated man who spits when he's angry. One thing I think they really should have slipped in - the reason why Snape called himself the "Half-Blood Prince", i.e. that his mother's maiden name was Prince. The uninformed kids in the row behind me were all "Snape's royal???" at the end.
Romance:
+ Ron and Hermione - largely unrecognisable, but OK. I missed their passion. I missed the brutality of the birds (again, wimpy filmmakers). I feel a bit iffy about the whole hospital wing scene ... it was OK, but that scene is possibly my very favourite Ron/Hermione scene, so any deviation upsets me :////
+ Harry and Ginny - the more I think about it, the more I think ... what even WAS this? I suppose my complete lack of attachment to Wright's Ginny has saved me being filled with rage over the relationship and instead I'm more just ... bemused. So basically we're told that hero fancies girl, by Wonder Hermione of course, hero and girl look at each other utterly without emotion a few times, hero makes a couple of throwaway comments, girl auntie-pecks hero in way that makes her seem like a big fat CREEP, and hero and girl never get it on ... it's like the EXACT OPPOSITE of what happened in the book! Again, oh well.
Ginny getting to her knees on The Burrow's stairs is however WIN x a million squillion.
Script: I think "You need a shave, Harry ... because you are getting older ... TIME IS PASSING" probably sums it up. It was Kloves. What can we do?
Ending: Shocking. Wrong on so many levels. Grr. Then again, as peachespig has pointed out, Hagrid could have walked in and they could have all started clapping. I suppose we should count our blessings.
I'm sorry, this all seems quite miserable, doesn't it? I did actually enjoy it v. much, despite thinking it was pretty pants. I'm sure no one believes me, but I have fully enjoyed ripping this film (rather gently, you must agree) to pieces; in fact, I feel rather drunk. I am drunk on fandom. To cheer you all up, here are some things I enjoyed without reservations:
+ Harry and the waitress at the beginning
+ Aragog's funeraaalllllllllll!
+ Tonks' "sweetheart"! I liked how Remus/Tonks was just ... there. Because they didn't need to do it, but they did.
+ All the Quidditch! So much love.
+ CORMAC. I would hit it with a truck. (I have such bad taste in men.)
Questions:
1. OK so ... do you think that when Harry had to be all lucked-up, they told Dan to "just be yourself"? That is completely the impression I got.
2. When Harry and Ginny kissed Dan had to stand on a box, y/y.
3. Show of hands, please, of the men-fanciers among us who would leave Film Dean for Film Harry? ... Thought so.
Observations:
So film Harry has had two kisses and one pseudo-blowjob in his life? That is going to be one frustrated boy in DH.
And, uh ... Ron's hair smells of toothpaste?
Poor boys.
One thing: hbpchallenge!! I'm thinking of doing it. Actually I already have something appropriate (shh I'm a cheat) but it's already 4000 words and the limit is 1000 so ... yeah. But I think you should all have a look at it anyway :D
p.s. Ugh Ron is so fit.
p.p.s. I wish I still had my "Ginny Weasley puts out" icon that was actually made by Harmonians. Good times.