(no subject)
I'm tired. Unimaginably tired.
So tired I want to just lie down and not ever get up again.
And yet I'm chugging about three cans of V a day (which probably does no good for my issue) and waking up at 6-7am after 12-1am nights (which probably doesn't do much good either). I drink three cups of coffee at work on top of those 3 V cans.
I've picked up, on top of my 9 to 5 full time (and occasional weekend rotations) job, one (unpaid) part time job which will run on Friday and weekend nights. I attend aRO WoE for two hours each Sunday (when I don't have a weekend job on) and try to play FFXI in the time that's left over between sleeping, cleaning, cooking, and maintaining a token presence on the discussion board for my postgraduate course.
I go to the shopping malls whenever I can- not to shop, not always- but just for the sake of driving a longer distance than down-the-road-to-work, for the sake of treating myself to a hot chocolate or a cookies-and-cream slushie, for the sake of just wandering around for half an hour each Friday night, half an hour of not having to do things for people, hear about their woes and have to be understanding because I can't help myself to be.
(It's not that I'm not happy to help, because I usually am happy to help. I don't like having friends upset or angry or whatever. But I just can't do it all the time and still be alright with the world, because I don't really have that level of saintliness left in me, or never really did in the first place.)
I'm tired.
Of this, of my job, of not being qualified after four long years fighting to get decent grades in a course that seems out to fail people. Of internet that seems to cut out every fricking two minutes despite the 49 dollars I pay for it every month (but it's Virgin Mobile, so I really ought to have expected that). Of discussion board moderators who post the answers to the discussion question and have the absolute GALL to follow that up with a post asking people who haven't posted yet to post their answers by the next day (um.... there's nothing I can say that you haven't already said). Of hospitals who failed to expand their staff parking lot to deal with increased staff capacity. Of patients who completely fail to take care of themselves and then complain that the hospital isn't caring for their every maidenly need. Of art that just seems to get harder and harder every time I open up the Paint program.
Of life. Of things.
Everything.
Signing off,
Aki
So tired I want to just lie down and not ever get up again.
And yet I'm chugging about three cans of V a day (which probably does no good for my issue) and waking up at 6-7am after 12-1am nights (which probably doesn't do much good either). I drink three cups of coffee at work on top of those 3 V cans.
I've picked up, on top of my 9 to 5 full time (and occasional weekend rotations) job, one (unpaid) part time job which will run on Friday and weekend nights. I attend aRO WoE for two hours each Sunday (when I don't have a weekend job on) and try to play FFXI in the time that's left over between sleeping, cleaning, cooking, and maintaining a token presence on the discussion board for my postgraduate course.
I go to the shopping malls whenever I can- not to shop, not always- but just for the sake of driving a longer distance than down-the-road-to-work, for the sake of treating myself to a hot chocolate or a cookies-and-cream slushie, for the sake of just wandering around for half an hour each Friday night, half an hour of not having to do things for people, hear about their woes and have to be understanding because I can't help myself to be.
(It's not that I'm not happy to help, because I usually am happy to help. I don't like having friends upset or angry or whatever. But I just can't do it all the time and still be alright with the world, because I don't really have that level of saintliness left in me, or never really did in the first place.)
I'm tired.
Of this, of my job, of not being qualified after four long years fighting to get decent grades in a course that seems out to fail people. Of internet that seems to cut out every fricking two minutes despite the 49 dollars I pay for it every month (but it's Virgin Mobile, so I really ought to have expected that). Of discussion board moderators who post the answers to the discussion question and have the absolute GALL to follow that up with a post asking people who haven't posted yet to post their answers by the next day (um.... there's nothing I can say that you haven't already said). Of hospitals who failed to expand their staff parking lot to deal with increased staff capacity. Of patients who completely fail to take care of themselves and then complain that the hospital isn't caring for their every maidenly need. Of art that just seems to get harder and harder every time I open up the Paint program.
Of life. Of things.
Everything.
Signing off,
Aki