[fic] The Devil's Canvas [chapter Forty-Nine] (part two)
Title: The Devil's Canvas
Chapter: 49 (part two)/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Pairing/Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Rating: M
Summary:
Ciel's skin was marred with ink and
blood, telling tales twisted in darkness.
What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands
staining the innocent canvas. For the most
beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language.
Part Two
Tanaka sighed heavily as he glanced out the window behind him. It was early morning and the sun was just starting to peek through the clouds. After receiving news that Sebastian and Ciel had woken up, Tanaka had been able to sleep soundly that night, knowing that they had pulled through. He didn’t want to go and see them right away, deciding to allow the two some time together.
But today he was going to stop by and pay them a visit after he had his meeting with Doll. They still had to discuss what was going to happen with Joker, who was downstairs in a holding cell. Tanaka wanted full rights to torture and kill the man, considering what he had put the family through. But at the same time, Doll had the same rights to have access to the man as he had torn apart Kelvin’s family and murdered the man.
Doll was waiting in Tanaka’s office when he arrived, this time without Snake by her side. She sat in one of the wing-backed chairs, looking over something on her phone. The device was flipped shut when Tanaka came in, and she stood to greet him properly.
“Tanaka,” Doll said, and held out a hand to him.
“Doll,” Tanaka answered and they shook hands briefly. He moved around to sit behind his desk and regarded her carefully. “We still have somethings to sort out before we can truly put this behind us. I know what I would like to do with Joker, but he’s also caused you grief.”
The issue of Joker was something Doll had mulled over herself for sometime now. She and Snake had different opinions on the matter, hence his absence now. There had been enough blood shed within her family at the moment, and she didn’t wish to bring more home with her. She had made her decision, but was curious to know what Tanaka had planned for the man.
“And what would you like to do with him?” She asked, looking truly intrigued.
“The specifics are probably something you wouldn’t care for,” Tanaka answered. “But eventually we would kill him.” The answer was blunt and honest as this was something that Tanaka didn’t want to dance around.
Doll nodded, seeming pleased. “He deserves no less. May I ask who would have that honor? My father is dead, he cannot exact his revenge, but you have family who were victims that are very much alive.” She did not need to bluntly ask for what she was proposing, since it was already obvious by what she had said thus far.
Tanaka paused and mulled over the question. He wasn’t sure himself and knew that it would be either Ciel or Sebastian who would have the final blow. Sebastian would also want to torture the man where Ciel might not be so privy to such a thing. “Ciel,” he finally answered. “Sebastian can torture the man as much as he pleases, but Ciel will deliver the final blow.”
Seeming satisfied, Doll nodded. “Then I shall leave Joker in your hands, but I only ask that his body be returned to us once you are done with him. He might have been a traitor, but he was still family. We’ll give him a proper burial,” she said, looking grim at the prospect.
“Of course,” Tanaka answered. His eyes softened slightly. “Your father would be proud of you. You’ve turned into a remarkable young lady and I know your family will grow under your leadership.”
“Thank you. I hope to live up to that praise.” Doll stood and smiled, holding out her hand once more to shake Tanaka’s. “It was a pleasure working with you, but I think it’s time I got home. Although I do owe you this.” She turned around to grab at a bag that had been sitting inconspicuously on the floor by her chair. A manila envelope was pulled out and passed over to Tanaka. “This is the information we retrieved from the ring. Use it as you will.”
Tanaka accepted the envelope and set it down on his desk. It would be looked over in time, after Tanaka had seen to Sebastian and Ciel. “Thank you, Doll.” He stood up and circled around the desk. “I’ll walk you to the front.”
“I’d appreciate that.” She allowed herself to be led to the door and down the hall. Snake had been set with the task of packing and pulling the car to the front. He should be there waiting for her now. It was good to be going home.
The car was already waiting out front when they stepped outside and Tanaka shook Doll’s hand one last time. “We’ll keep in touch,” he said simply. There was no need for sappy comments. It was business and would remain as such.
She smiled pleasantly. “I will,” Doll said before she moved into the car, and driving off. Tanaka stood waiting as he watched the vehicle drive past the gate and disappear around the bend.
Once it was gone, Tanaka turned and moved back inside the building. Sebastian and Ciel were next on his to-do list and he wasn’t sure if he was dreading it or looking forward to it. They were all at fault for what had happened and Tanaka needed to apologize as well as lecture them.
He walked down the hallways and towards the infirmary hall where the smell of cleaning solution hung heavily in the air. The room Ciel and Sebastian were in was quiet, and Tanaka figured they were still asleep but he entered the room anyway.
Tired red eyes greeted him and Tanaka gazed at Sebastian, surprised that Sebastian was still awake. He vaguely noted that the beds had been pushed together and could only guess that Sebastian had caused trouble until he was close enough to Ciel.
“Tanaka, Sir,” Sebastian softly, not wanting to wake Ciel.
Tanaka glanced at Ciel, seeing the boy deep in sleep. He had hoped to have both of them awake, but he didn’t have the heart to wake Ciel just yet. “How long has he been asleep?” Tanaka asked as he moved quietly closer to the beds, standing next to Sebastian’s.
“A while,” Sebastian answered, watching Tanaka move. His eyes were cautious and his body on alert in case the older male tried to do something. “He’s still tired though. Please don’t wake him just yet.” Sebastian had been watching Ciel sleep ever since their chat the night before and he refused to sleep until Ciel was awake again and was fine.
A heavy sigh left Tanaka and he pulled up a chair to Sebastian’s bed. “He’s lucky, you know that right?” Tanaka said slowly. “I was there when he was found. He was very much dead from outward appearances. It was no wonder Claude never felt a pulse, he was already so far gone.” He watched across the beds to where Ciel lay, looking much better than the last time Tanaka had seen his grandson. Color had returned to Ciel’s cheeks and he was looking healthier. It was such a drastic change from days prior.
Sebastian’s eyes lowered. “I know,” he whispered. “I thought I had lost him and such a thing should never have happened in the first place. It was foolish of me to let him convince me to do such a thing that allowed him to be caught in the first place. If I hadn’t agreed, none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve had a better chance and I would’ve been there to help him.” Everything that had happened in the past week, Sebastian blamed on himself; no one else could take the blame and he would accept whatever punishment Tanaka had to give.
“You’re right, it was your fault. Yet, Ciel isn’t innocent in all of this either. He should have known better as well. I can only hope you have learned something from all of this.” Tanaka smirked just a bit, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. “Although I’m afraid I can’t leave this at that. You both will be punished, and I still want to talk to you both about this. I won’t stand for it happening again.”
“I understand,” Sebastian said softly. “As Ciel’s teacher, I’m still to blame for his actions and will take his punishment in his place.” There was no way Sebastian was going to let Tanaka lay a hand on Ciel or even think of doing so. He was already determined not to let anything else happen to Ciel, even if such a threat was coming from within the family.
A stern look was cast in Sebastian’s direction. “And that’s exactly why Ciel is the way he is. You baby him way too much. You try to shelter him because you don’t want him hurt, but that is exactly the thing that is hurting him the most,” Tanaka said. “He is a reckless boy, never thinking of the consequences because he had never had to face them until now. Ciel will face his punishment, just as you will face yours.”
Sebastian scowled at the light reprimand but didn’t bother to argue against Tanaka. They were getting off light for now but agreeing would only make it worse when they were punished later on. He glanced over at Ciel, watching the younger male sleep before turning back to Tanaka. “What now?” He asked.
“What now?” Tanaka smiled and reclined back into his chair. There wasn’t much that could be done at the moment. The house was still in a small uproar and everything was just beginning to settle down. It would take a while, but no further action would be taken on the current situation until Ciel and Sebastian were well enough to get around. After all, he had agreed with Doll that Sebastian and Ciel would deal with Joker. Nothing could be done with the man until the two were well and able. “For now you two rest. We’ll deal with everything else once you are well, but be sure to enjoy your down time,” he said, leaving the reason for his last statement to hang in the air. Tanaka still hadn’t thought out a fitting punishment.
Sebastian nodded and leaned back on his pillows. He was tired and wanted sleep, but refused to close his eyes and rest until Ciel was awake. Especially now that Tanaka was here. Some part of him feared that their punishment would be separation and that was one thing he couldn’t stand. He gave Ciel’s hand a gentle squeeze, the motion calming him down.
The boy groaned and shifted causing a pained mumble of Sebastian’s name to slip from his lips. His hand gripped at Sebastian and suddenly a bright blue eye sprung open. Ciel stared at the ceiling, looking slightly panicked as he tried to make sense of where he was. Harsh breaths were slowing down as he calmed his heartbeat
Slowly he turned his head, seeming relieved too see Sebastian still beside him. “You’re still here,” Ciel said like he believed the older man would have up and disappeared.
“I am,” Sebastian murmured and stroked Ciel’s hand, feeling his pulse race still. This was why he wanted to be awake when Ciel came out of his sleep. The mental trauma was going to be hard for the younger male as he wasn’t used to something so stressful as a near death experience. This was Sebastian’s third and he was still unnerved by it and was trying not think how his own dreams would play out.
Tanaka watched the sight silently, studying the way the two men interacted. Ciel’s response was the most concerning and Tanaka knew that any idea he had to split the two would end up being detrimental to Ciel’s psychological health. Right now it would be important to keep them together as much as possible. Ciel needed that security.
Ciel smiled. “I’m glad.” He stared at Sebastian a few moments, assuring himself that the man wouldn’t disappear, before looking past him and catching sight of Tanaka. The smile faded and he looked nervously away. He wasn’t sure why his grandfather was here, but this was the first time he had seen him since their argument in his office.
“Good morning, Ciel,” Tanaka said warmly, trying to put Ciel at ease. He could see Sebastian holding Ciel’s hand tighter, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. “I’m not going to separate you two, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just here to talk.”
Sebastian leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Ciel’s temple. “I’ll stay up still if you want,” he offered.
Ciel’s head shot over to look at Sebastian. “Still? Have you not slept?” For the moment Tanaka was ignored as Ciel found current importance in Sebastian’s health. “You idiot, you’re going to make yourself sicker.”
“I’m fine,” Sebastian answered, even though it was obvious that it was a lie. His eyes were heavy and sleep was calling for him, but Sebastian could stay awake for a little while longer.
A huff sounded from Ciel and he glanced at Tanaka. “Tell him he needs sleep,” he said to the old man, hoping that Tanaka’s authority would come in handy. It didn’t seem as if Sebastian was going to listen to Ciel’s ranting.
Tanaka smirked slightly. “Why should I?” He asked. “It seems as though neither of you are willing to listen to me when I say something. Why should now be any different?” It was cruel, but the point had been made.
Well that was a slap in the face, Ciel thought. He cringed and didn’t look Tanaka in the eye. “This is different,” he said, although not knowing just how it was different. All Ciel wanted was for Sebastian to get some rest. He had never wanted the man to stay up all night to watch over him. Ciel was a big boy, he could take care of himself. Hadn’t he proved as much, at least to a degree.
Sebastian chuckled and pressed a kiss to Ciel’s hand. “As my lord commands,” he teased, giving the hand another kiss. He leaned back against the pillows, sighing softly as his body relaxed into the bed and let his eyes close. Fingers laced through Ciel’s once more and he gave them one more squeeze before Sebastian allowed himself to fall asleep.
Ciel watched intently as he felt Sebastian’s hold fall lax around his hand, and the telltale signs of sleep ghosted over Sebastian’s features. It was then that Ciel knew the man to be asleep and he felt comforted that the older man was getting the rest that he needed. The idiot shouldn’t have kept himself up like that, but that was Sebastian and Ciel couldn’t help but feel loved in the silly little things that he did.
“Now that he’s asleep, we can talk,” Tanaka answered and looked at Ciel. “I’m glad to see that you’re doing better after your injuries. I don’t think I need to say how upset I am with you for going behind my back and against my orders.”
That wasn’t what Ciel wanted to hear at the moment. He was suddenly hoping for Sebastian to be awake. The man usually seemed to redirect all animosity directed towards Ciel. But now he was here with Tanaka and no one was going to save him from his grandfather’s wrath. A simple sorry wasn’t going to cut it, and Ciel didn’t feel inclined to give it. He wasn’t sorry for what he did. Sebastian was alive, he was alive, and everything had turned out for the better. Ciel had nothing to be sorry for. He saved Sebastian, something Tanaka would not have done.
“I did what I had to,” he said meekly, looking already slightly defeated in his injured state.
“I understand that,” Tanaka answered. “But that still doesn’t make it right. We almost lost both of you and you also put two other people in danger as well. It was reckless and down right irresponsible.”
Ciel huffed and settled an annoyed look at Tanaka. “I didn’t force them to do anything. They helped me out because they wanted to. They wanted Sebastian home safely and because of that we got him home safely,” he said. “As for it being irresponsible? I knew the risks, and I was prepared to accept them. I was ready to die if it meant Sebastian lived. He didn’t deserve to die for a mistake I roped him into making with me.”
Tanaka’s eyes narrowed slightly and he worked to keep himself calm so he didn’t snap at Ciel. “That may be, but Sebastian was also prepared to die as well. He never wanted you to end up in a such a condition.” He ran a hand over his face. “But I suppose that’s where we both went wrong. We’ve babied you and let you get away with things that normally wouldn’t be allowed. Which is why you’re to be punished the same as Sebastian.”
“Babying me has nothing to do with it. I love Sebastian, and I’m not going to let him die if I can help it. It’s as simple as that. I’ll always save him, or die trying.” And that was a hard fact. He would take whatever punishment Tanaka would dish out, but it would never change how Ciel felt. It was there that it seemed Tanaka could not understand Ciel’s point of view.
“I understand that you two love each other to the point of death and this incident has only made that bond stronger, but there’s no need for it to make you reckless. You cannot act in such a way when you take over this family,” Tanaka stated. He felt as though they were running around in circles and he was starting to see just how hard headed Ciel could be.
Ciel sighed and shook his head. “I’m not going to put myself in a situation to be taken. I learned that lesson, but I will continue to be ‘reckless’ when it comes to Sebastian. If I have to throw myself into the crossfire in order to save him, then I will. If that makes me a bad leader, then so be it.” He didn’t need to head the family, not at the cost of Sebastian’s safety. It was too much to ask of him. Sebastian would always rank higher than the family. That was an inarguable fact.
Tanaka massaged his temples as a headache built up behind his eyes. “You get this from your mother,” he said with a small groan. He had to resign himself to the fact that where Sebastian was concerned, Ciel would be stubborn and headstrong, as was the case for Sebastian with Ciel. Nothing could change that. No amount of threatening or punishment would change the fact. Instead, it would only push them away from the family.
“You make that sound like a bad thing,” Ciel bit out, still on the defensive and not yet willing to let his guard down. He was like a hissing cat, back hunched and hair standing on end. If it wasn’t for being bed ridden, he would be standing while pointing a threatening finger at the man. Although Ciel doubted it would have gotten him very far.
“And look where it got her,” Tanaka snapped back before clamping his mouth shut. That had been a low blow for both of them and he let out a long sigh, releasing the pent up anger. “I just don’t want the same fate to meet you as well. It may be selfish, but I’m not ready to lose you, or Sebastian, which is why I’m angry right now with the two of you.”
Nothing more was said on Ciel’s part, since he knew that they were far too close to screaming out hurtful words. Such things would get them nowhere, and only make the matter worse. As it stood neither was ready to see things in a different light and Ciel was fine with that for the moment. Everything would come in time, and hopefully this situation would never befall them again. It was the least Ciel could hope for.
Ciel laid his head back down and stared blankly at the ceiling. “How is everyone else?” He asked after a moment, realizing that he hadn’t heard from Finny or Claude.
“Everyone is doing fine. Finny is giving Claude a hard time for pronouncing you dead at the scene, teasing him and whatnot. And I’m sure Sebastian will have a few words with the man as well,” Tanaka answered. “Sebastian had believed you to be dead due to Claude’s words and didn’t take it too well. But it was a mistake that was easy to make, as it was hard to find your pulse.”
“What?” Ciel’s head snapped back to his grandfather, causing a sharp pain to flare in his shoulder. It was ignored. His mind was far too confused over what he was hearing. “I was pronounced dead?”
Tanaka frowned and he quickly realized that Sebastian hadn’t mentioned that fact to Ciel when they had first woken up, no doubt in an effort to protect the younger male. “Yes. When Claude and Finny first found you and Sebastian, they couldn’t find a heartbeat. It was The Undertaker who realized you were alive and you were rushed upstairs for surgery. Sebastian had to watch until he was sedated due to the fear he was harming himself more by trying to get to you.”
That hadn’t been what Ciel wanted to hear. How close had he been to death? What had Sebastian gone through? He looked to the man sleeping soundly in bed, and his heart clenched at just what Sebastian had endured. Tears prickled at Ciel’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. Slowly his hand reached through the bars separating Sebastian and himself and grabbed at the man’s hand. He was never letting Sebastian go. It felt wrong for Sebastian to worry over Ciel, when it was Sebastian who had faced so much mental torment. It should be Ciel worrying and doting on Sebastian. The man deserved that and so much more.
“How did he take it?” Ciel had to ask, knowing that truthfully his death had been something he had freely welcomed when he had walked into this whole mess with the intent of saving Sebastian. He suddenly wondered if he would have actually been doing Sebastian a favor.
Tanaka shrugged. “I’m not sure. At the time Sebastian was informed, I was downstairs with you. Claude would know what happened, but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.” He glanced at Sebastian before continuing. “When we brought you up here, Sebastian was being prepared for surgery and as soon as he heard you were still alive, he was out of the bed, screaming for you.”
It was something Tanaka had never heard before; such raw emotion from Sebastian was almost eerie. Sebastian didn’t show much emotion to people, bar Ciel, and those screams were something he would probably never forget. They were screams from a man who had lost everything only to regain it with the knowledge that it could be stolen away once more.
“I see.” Ciel swallowed hard. He didn’t want to think what might have happened at that time. A part of him needed to know, but another wanted to hide from that fact. He needed to know that giving his life for Sebastian wasn’t something he wanted out of selfishness, wanting to spare himself of the hurt of living without the man he loved beyond all else. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned himself. No matter what the issue was, it still wouldn’t stop Ciel from going after Sebastian if he needed to. It didn’t change anything.
“He’s fine now,” Tanaka stated. “Knowing that you’re still alive and next to him will help him heal. But I warn you now that the mental trauma you two faced will stay with you for a while. You were tortured, just as Sebastian was and something such as that doesn’t go away. We know what you went through, but Sebastian hasn’t spoken about his time in Joker’s grasp. We can only guess at what they did.”
Once more, things Ciel would rather not think about were piled on him. The torture had been nothing compared with the thought of losing Sebastian. Still, the images of Sebastian being shot in front of him haunted Ciel. Seeing Sebastian so torn and broken upon his return had also affected Ciel in more ways than he was willing to admit. He wasn’t yet sure how it all would affect him in the future but it was something he would deal with when he had to. Ciel already was trying to block out his own pain from his mind, the damage to his eye being his biggest worry at the moment.
Ciel laughed then, dry and humorless. “Life sucks,” he said.
“That it does,” Tanaka answered and stood up. “I should let you rest now. No doubt I’ve given you more than enough information for one day. Make sure you get some sleep as well. I want you healed up quickly.” He nodded at the younger male and moved to the door, planning to get some work done now that he knew Ciel and Sebastian were okay. Punishment was still in order, but that would come in time.
With a sigh, Ciel sunk back into his bed. He had done so much sleeping already, but his body still felt tired. A blue eye closed before Ciel could see Tanaka leave. It only took a few minutes more until Ciel fell back to sleep, hand still holding tightly onto Sebastian’s.
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Sebastian panted softly as he moved around the room, feeling Ciel’s eyes watching his every step. Or at least one eye watched him. The other eye was covered with a black eye patch and every so often, Ciel would reach up and tug at it, not used to the feeling.
Another lap was made around the spacious room and Sebastian paused at the ending point to catch his breath. It had been two weeks since they had returned from Joker’s hideout and only in the past few days had they been allowed the freedom to leave their beds and walk around. Sebastian jumped at the chance, wanting to build his strength back up and have the chance to move once more.
“You’re going to land yourself another week of being bedridden. Will’s going to come in and see you over doing it and he’s going to kill you. I won’t stop him either.” Ciel was sitting in bed, watching intently as Sebastian overdid himself. Unfortunately, Ciel’s hip was more than a hindrance to him when he walked, still hurting him quite a bit, only getting out of bed to use the restroom. Sebastian couldn’t have him out of bed while still trying to stay in shape. Ciel would do all that when he was forced through rehab, but for now he would watch Sebastian.
“He’s not going to come in because he doesn’t have a reason to,” Sebastian answered, leaning against the wall. His arm was still in a cast, preventing him from working his upper body as well. “And why would you want to stop me?” Truth be told, Sebastian didn’t want to stop. Staying in bed drove him crazy and getting up to work out helped to keep the horrible thoughts at bay.
Ciel rolled his eyes. “I don’t know... Why would I want to make you stop? Let’s say... So that you don’t rip out a stitch!” He yelled the last bit, his over protectiveness rearing its ugly head once more. Only down side was that Ciel was injured as well this time, he couldn’t reign in Sebastian as well as he once could.
Sebastian chuckled but pushed away from the wall so he could walk towards the bed. With a huff, he sat down carefully next to Ciel. “Better?” He asked, leaning over to give Ciel a kiss. He didn’t want the younger male to worry and he also had to admit that ripping out a stitch would be unpleasant, especially dealing with Will.
“Much better. I’d hate to have you hurt yourself worse and end up having to stay in bed once I’m discharged. I might not come visit you. Teach you a right lesson.” Ciel smirked and poked at Sebastian’s shoulder. It had been a trying few weeks, but Ciel was already beginning to feel much better. His shoulder was manageable, and his eye was healing to the point that some of the more shallow areas of the gash were shedding their scabs and revealing pale skin. He would have a scar there, but that wasn’t his greatest worry at the moment. The eye could now open, but Ciel did not dare open it yet, too afraid of finding out the extent of the damage. He didn’t want to know and he didn’t want Sebastian to know.
“You’re so mean to me,” Sebastian pouted and leaned back on the bed. He wiggled slightly so his head rested in Ciel’s lap and he looked up at Ciel’s face. His good arm rose, fingers brushing over pale skin, skimming lightly over the eye patch, before coming up to thread through dark hair. “Are you scared?” He asked lowly.
“Of you ripping a stitch? Hardly. It’ll be your own fault,” Ciel answered, trying to play off the question. He didn’t want to talk about this, not now. Sebastian had been trying to broach the conversation far too often for Ciel’s liking, but he just didn’t want to talk about it. Why worry about it now? Wait until it had to be addressed and no sooner.
Sebastian frowned at Ciel and let his fingers creep up higher until they brushed over the strings holding the patch in place. “You are scared,” he commented, feeling Ciel stiffen as he tugged lightly on the strings. He lowered his hand, not wanting to rush Ciel and further harm him. “It won’t make me think any less of you.”
Ciel wouldn’t look at Sebastian. A hand held down Sebastian’s wrist, not letting it move back to the ties of the eye patch. “Sebastian, please don’t,” Ciel pleaded, lone blue eye looking lost as it stared at the blankets.
“Why?” Sebastian asked, looking curiously at Ciel. Fear swam in the single eye and Sebastian tugged his hand out of Ciel’s grip so he could lower it down to his chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. It was easy to forget at times that Ciel handled things differently than he did and Sebastian had to remember to respect that.
“Don’t be,” Ciel said after a moment, expelling a breath that he’d been holding. “I should just get over it, and deal with whatever comes from this. Be I blind or not. I’ll get past it.” It was better in theory. Ciel still feared Sebastian’s opinion on the scar that would form. He might say that he didn’t care, but it was hard to find pleasure in something unsightly. It didn’t help that Ciel’s body would be littered in scars. He didn’t even want to think how the shallow whip lashes to his back had altered and ruined his tattoos.
Sebastian grabbed Ciel’s hand, pressing a kiss to it. “Hush,” he said, making the younger male push the thoughts from his mind. Tanaka would call it babying Ciel, but Sebastian called it something else. He called it caring, and it was something he would allow only for Ciel and if it got him in trouble, then so be it. Nothing from that day was going to further torment Ciel again.
“Don’t tell me to hush,” but Ciel drew Sebastian’s head up so that he could place a firm kiss on the man’s lips. At one time he had thought that he would never experience such a thing. Now Ciel could not get enough. He kissed him once more, simple and sweet, before pulling away. The action had brightened his mood just a little, and he found it within himself to smile. “We need to hurry and get well. I want you all to myself in our bed. There are so many things I want to do.” A wicked glint settled in Ciel’s eye.
A low chuckle left Sebastian’s throat. “I like the way your mind thinks. Maybe in a week or two, I’ll give you a small treat, a hint at what’s to come once we’re fully healed.” The thought was arousing, but it was nothing more than that. Their bodies were still too injured to do such a thing and they would have to wait patiently until the time came that they could indulge themselves once more.
Ciel chuckled. “Best be when no one can catch us. Tanaka really would split us up and I’m afraid Will might kill us.... Grell would kill me.” He frowned, not liking the way Grell fawned over Sebastian. The man was far too desperate in Ciel’s opinion.
“This is true. We shouldn’t push our limits right now, seeing as we’re still in trouble with Tanaka. The man can make our punishment much worse if he catches us in the act,” Sebastian stated. He pressed closer to Ciel, pushing his face into the younger male’s stomach and inhaling deeply. “For now, I’m content right here. Never to leave your side again.”
Not yet ready to throw the idea away just yet, Ciel threaded his hands through Sebastian’s hair. “You could always help me to the bathroom. My hip has been troubling me recently. Who knows, I might need help with an array of problems,” he prompted, looking like a sly little fox.
Sebastian shook his head. “Not falling for it again. Last time I let you convince to do something like that, you were taken away from me.” He wouldn’t let that happen again, even if they were back in the mansion. Tanaka could always take Ciel away and the thought had Sebastian clutching at Ciel even more.
“Indeed. Besides, I want to have you in our bed.” Ciel lay back, reclining on the bed. His hand continued to idly play with Sebastian’s hair and the atmosphere turned calm and serene. It was nice like this, with just the two of them. They didn’t receive many visitors. Everyone was too busy still cleaning up the mess that had been caused as the remaining members of Joker’s gang were picked off along with their contacts. The only people not involved were Finny and Ann. Finny had his hands full with Soot and Alex. Ciel missed the two, but Will had forbade animals from coming into the infirmary. Ann was still being led in the dark over everything.
Tanaka had passed along that the woman had broken some of his priceless pottery that he kept in his office. She was on a war path until she knew what had become of her precious nephew. Ciel didn’t understand why they just couldn’t tell her. There was no way that he could hide his eye, and he doubted he could come up with a convincing lie. Stabbing yourself in the eye with a paint brush didn’t sound all that believable. It wouldn’t be long before the woman broke into this room in her pursuit to track Ciel down. That would be a sight to see.
Sebastian hummed and pushed into the teasing touches, feeling them coax him into the dreamworld. After walking around earlier, his body was tired and wanted sleep. His eyes fluttered shut and he sighed against Ciel’s stomach. “You can have me anyway you want after this. Up against the wall, the mirror, or in a thunderstorm. I don’t care.”
Ciel thought that over for a moment, since it wasn’t often that Sebastian so freely offered himself up as he was doing now. “I do believe we had in the backseat of a car next on our list.” He chuckled pinched lightly on Sebastian’s ear. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”
"I'm awake," Sebastian answered lowly. His eyes remained closed though and his grip around Ciel loosened slightly. "The back seat of the car sounds good. Under normal circumstances, I'd say we should do it in Claude's car, still tempted to actually. But he did help, so I feel as though that would be in bad faith.”
That comment received a chuckle from Ciel who looked quite amused. “Wait a week and I’m sure he’ll have done something to warrant you retracting that statement.” Their current truce would only last so long. Soon enough the insults would be back and the animosity plentiful.
"Probably," Sebastian answered with a low chuckle. He yawned as Ciel's fingers started to thread through his hair again, lulling him to sleep. "I'm tired," he mumbled and pressed closer to Ciel.
“That’s your own fault. You shouldn’t have been pushing yourself so much, not when you’re not even fully healed,” Ciel reprimanded. “It serves you right!” He flicked Sebastian’s nose and withdrew his hands completely from the man.
Sebastian pouted and rubbed his nose. A low whine left his throat and he reached for Ciel's hands again, wanting to feel them running through his hair again. "I have my reasons," he stated, but didn't bother to elaborate any further.
It went quiet, Ciel finding himself relaxed, his eyes drooping. He wasn’t going to push Sebastian for answers right now; there was little point. It wasn’t as if he could currently live up to any threat he could dish out. This being bedridden thing was far from pleasant and Ciel hoped that Will would soon give him the green light to be discharged.
“How much longer do you think we’ll be kept here?” Ciel asked after a moment, unsure if Sebastian was still awake.
"At least another week," Sebastian answered lowly. "Then we'll be released and allowed to sleep in our own bed, see our girls, and have a bit more privacy." Even then, they still wouldn't be able to do anything. Sebastian's arm would still be in a cast and Ciel's wounds would be tender. It would be at least another two months before anything more could come from them.
Ciel groaned, not sure if he wanted to deal with all of this for another week. The constant smell of alcohol and cleaners was slowly getting to Ciel. Every moment he spent here was another reminder of what had happened and the changes Ciel would soon be made to face, both in himself and the world around him. For once he wished they could go back to their room and pretend none of this had ever happened. Ciel’s eye was still as functional as ever, no ugly gash tarnishing the bright blue. He wanted to believe that, just for a little while until reality crumbled around them as life took its course and forced the ugly truth of things upon him in the most cruelest of ways.
“A week is too long,” Ciel said, returning his fingers to Sebastian’s hair. It seemed the action calmed him as much as it did Sebastian.
"It'll go by faster than you think," Sebastian answered. "You'll sleep through most of it and I'll watch over you, making sure that no one takes you away from me again." Sebastian wouldn't admit it out loud, but it was his biggest fear now; to have someone take Ciel away. He liked to think that they were safe in the mansion but he refused to let his guard down. Every action made him suspicious and Sebastian was constantly looking over his shoulder now.
A big yawn escaped Ceil’s mouth, his eyes scrunching with the effort. “I’m not going anywhere. Not with this bum hip at least.” He poked at his still sore side and hissed. If felt bruised, but indeed an improvement to weeks prior. At least he could now stand and limp around with a crutch or Sebastian’s help. There was really no need for Sebastian to worry, or was there. Ciel frowned and looked suddenly serious as he stared down at the man in his lap. “Did you really think I was dead?” He asked, voice as soft as a whisper.
Sebastian stiffened and his grip around Ciel tightened. His eyes closed tightly as he recalled that day with precision and he found himself trembling. “Yes,” he whispered hoarsely. “Claude told me they couldn’t find your pulse when they found us and I didn’t want to believe him. You were still alive in my arms when I passed out but I didn’t know what happened after that. The next thing I knew, I was awake and they were telling me you weren’t. It hurt so much.”
“I had planned to die,” Ciel whispered, afraid of the repercussion his words would have. “I wanted you to live, even if it meant me dying. I never planned on living when I went to get you. It didn’t seem possible. Only when I saw you did I hope that we could return home together or die trying.”
Nails dug into Ciel’s back and Sebastian glanced up through his lashes to glare at Ciel. “You’re not allowed to say those words ever again. You have too much left of your life to even think about dying.” His grip loosened slightly as the anger ebbed away. “You were supposed to live, that was what I told you to do.”
Ciel returned Sebastian’s glare, looking a little miffed. “You were planning to do the same for me. What makes it okay for you, but not for me? You have just as much of your life left to live as I do. I’m not that much younger than you. Don’t forget it.” He flicked Sebastian’s ear hard, making it redden from the attack.
Sebastian hissed and rubbed his ear. “Because I was ready for it. I’ve been trained to lay my life down for the family, or in this case you. You weren’t ready and I didn’t want you to go through something like that.”
“And I didn’t want to live my life knowing that you died for my sake. I just couldn’t do it.” The hand in Sebastian’s hair moved away, curling into Ciel’s other arm as they crossed against his chest. The mood was quickly turning sour and he was beginning to wish Sebastian would fall asleep.
Sebastian’s mouth opened, ready to argue that he felt the same before he changed his mind. “Your life belongs to me, as mine does to you,” he murmured and ran his hand up Ciel’s side in a soothing manner. “No one else has that privilege.”
A crooked smile curved Ciel’s lips. “I do believe I’ve told you as much.” He leaned down to kiss Sebastian on the forehead, lingering there until his sore muscles ached in protest. It was funny how easily things shifted back to calm. It wasn’t worth being mad at one another at this moment in time, not when they had been so close to death. Ciel still couldn’t come to terms with everything that had happened. For now they seemed stuck in their own little world, reality poking in for only a minute before being forced out once more, leaving calm serenity behind.
Humming softly, Sebastian nodded and let his eyes fall shut once more. He couldn’t think about living a life without Ciel and he pushed the unsettling thoughts away. They were dangerous and only proved to show Sebastian just how much Ciel was truly his weakness. But at the same time, the male was his strength and Sebastian clung to him for now, wanting nothing more than to stay like this.
A low sigh left his mouth as he pushed further into Ciel’s warmth. His body ached and Sebastian yawned, wanting to go back to sleep. Tomorrow was another day and it seemed as though that was the best way to take things for now. One day at a time.
To Be Continued . . .
Chapter: 49 (part two)/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Pairing/Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Rating: M
Summary:
Ciel's skin was marred with ink and
blood, telling tales twisted in darkness.
What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands
staining the innocent canvas. For the most
beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language.
Part Two
Tanaka sighed heavily as he glanced out the window behind him. It was early morning and the sun was just starting to peek through the clouds. After receiving news that Sebastian and Ciel had woken up, Tanaka had been able to sleep soundly that night, knowing that they had pulled through. He didn’t want to go and see them right away, deciding to allow the two some time together.
But today he was going to stop by and pay them a visit after he had his meeting with Doll. They still had to discuss what was going to happen with Joker, who was downstairs in a holding cell. Tanaka wanted full rights to torture and kill the man, considering what he had put the family through. But at the same time, Doll had the same rights to have access to the man as he had torn apart Kelvin’s family and murdered the man.
Doll was waiting in Tanaka’s office when he arrived, this time without Snake by her side. She sat in one of the wing-backed chairs, looking over something on her phone. The device was flipped shut when Tanaka came in, and she stood to greet him properly.
“Tanaka,” Doll said, and held out a hand to him.
“Doll,” Tanaka answered and they shook hands briefly. He moved around to sit behind his desk and regarded her carefully. “We still have somethings to sort out before we can truly put this behind us. I know what I would like to do with Joker, but he’s also caused you grief.”
The issue of Joker was something Doll had mulled over herself for sometime now. She and Snake had different opinions on the matter, hence his absence now. There had been enough blood shed within her family at the moment, and she didn’t wish to bring more home with her. She had made her decision, but was curious to know what Tanaka had planned for the man.
“And what would you like to do with him?” She asked, looking truly intrigued.
“The specifics are probably something you wouldn’t care for,” Tanaka answered. “But eventually we would kill him.” The answer was blunt and honest as this was something that Tanaka didn’t want to dance around.
Doll nodded, seeming pleased. “He deserves no less. May I ask who would have that honor? My father is dead, he cannot exact his revenge, but you have family who were victims that are very much alive.” She did not need to bluntly ask for what she was proposing, since it was already obvious by what she had said thus far.
Tanaka paused and mulled over the question. He wasn’t sure himself and knew that it would be either Ciel or Sebastian who would have the final blow. Sebastian would also want to torture the man where Ciel might not be so privy to such a thing. “Ciel,” he finally answered. “Sebastian can torture the man as much as he pleases, but Ciel will deliver the final blow.”
Seeming satisfied, Doll nodded. “Then I shall leave Joker in your hands, but I only ask that his body be returned to us once you are done with him. He might have been a traitor, but he was still family. We’ll give him a proper burial,” she said, looking grim at the prospect.
“Of course,” Tanaka answered. His eyes softened slightly. “Your father would be proud of you. You’ve turned into a remarkable young lady and I know your family will grow under your leadership.”
“Thank you. I hope to live up to that praise.” Doll stood and smiled, holding out her hand once more to shake Tanaka’s. “It was a pleasure working with you, but I think it’s time I got home. Although I do owe you this.” She turned around to grab at a bag that had been sitting inconspicuously on the floor by her chair. A manila envelope was pulled out and passed over to Tanaka. “This is the information we retrieved from the ring. Use it as you will.”
Tanaka accepted the envelope and set it down on his desk. It would be looked over in time, after Tanaka had seen to Sebastian and Ciel. “Thank you, Doll.” He stood up and circled around the desk. “I’ll walk you to the front.”
“I’d appreciate that.” She allowed herself to be led to the door and down the hall. Snake had been set with the task of packing and pulling the car to the front. He should be there waiting for her now. It was good to be going home.
The car was already waiting out front when they stepped outside and Tanaka shook Doll’s hand one last time. “We’ll keep in touch,” he said simply. There was no need for sappy comments. It was business and would remain as such.
She smiled pleasantly. “I will,” Doll said before she moved into the car, and driving off. Tanaka stood waiting as he watched the vehicle drive past the gate and disappear around the bend.
Once it was gone, Tanaka turned and moved back inside the building. Sebastian and Ciel were next on his to-do list and he wasn’t sure if he was dreading it or looking forward to it. They were all at fault for what had happened and Tanaka needed to apologize as well as lecture them.
He walked down the hallways and towards the infirmary hall where the smell of cleaning solution hung heavily in the air. The room Ciel and Sebastian were in was quiet, and Tanaka figured they were still asleep but he entered the room anyway.
Tired red eyes greeted him and Tanaka gazed at Sebastian, surprised that Sebastian was still awake. He vaguely noted that the beds had been pushed together and could only guess that Sebastian had caused trouble until he was close enough to Ciel.
“Tanaka, Sir,” Sebastian softly, not wanting to wake Ciel.
Tanaka glanced at Ciel, seeing the boy deep in sleep. He had hoped to have both of them awake, but he didn’t have the heart to wake Ciel just yet. “How long has he been asleep?” Tanaka asked as he moved quietly closer to the beds, standing next to Sebastian’s.
“A while,” Sebastian answered, watching Tanaka move. His eyes were cautious and his body on alert in case the older male tried to do something. “He’s still tired though. Please don’t wake him just yet.” Sebastian had been watching Ciel sleep ever since their chat the night before and he refused to sleep until Ciel was awake again and was fine.
A heavy sigh left Tanaka and he pulled up a chair to Sebastian’s bed. “He’s lucky, you know that right?” Tanaka said slowly. “I was there when he was found. He was very much dead from outward appearances. It was no wonder Claude never felt a pulse, he was already so far gone.” He watched across the beds to where Ciel lay, looking much better than the last time Tanaka had seen his grandson. Color had returned to Ciel’s cheeks and he was looking healthier. It was such a drastic change from days prior.
Sebastian’s eyes lowered. “I know,” he whispered. “I thought I had lost him and such a thing should never have happened in the first place. It was foolish of me to let him convince me to do such a thing that allowed him to be caught in the first place. If I hadn’t agreed, none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve had a better chance and I would’ve been there to help him.” Everything that had happened in the past week, Sebastian blamed on himself; no one else could take the blame and he would accept whatever punishment Tanaka had to give.
“You’re right, it was your fault. Yet, Ciel isn’t innocent in all of this either. He should have known better as well. I can only hope you have learned something from all of this.” Tanaka smirked just a bit, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. “Although I’m afraid I can’t leave this at that. You both will be punished, and I still want to talk to you both about this. I won’t stand for it happening again.”
“I understand,” Sebastian said softly. “As Ciel’s teacher, I’m still to blame for his actions and will take his punishment in his place.” There was no way Sebastian was going to let Tanaka lay a hand on Ciel or even think of doing so. He was already determined not to let anything else happen to Ciel, even if such a threat was coming from within the family.
A stern look was cast in Sebastian’s direction. “And that’s exactly why Ciel is the way he is. You baby him way too much. You try to shelter him because you don’t want him hurt, but that is exactly the thing that is hurting him the most,” Tanaka said. “He is a reckless boy, never thinking of the consequences because he had never had to face them until now. Ciel will face his punishment, just as you will face yours.”
Sebastian scowled at the light reprimand but didn’t bother to argue against Tanaka. They were getting off light for now but agreeing would only make it worse when they were punished later on. He glanced over at Ciel, watching the younger male sleep before turning back to Tanaka. “What now?” He asked.
“What now?” Tanaka smiled and reclined back into his chair. There wasn’t much that could be done at the moment. The house was still in a small uproar and everything was just beginning to settle down. It would take a while, but no further action would be taken on the current situation until Ciel and Sebastian were well enough to get around. After all, he had agreed with Doll that Sebastian and Ciel would deal with Joker. Nothing could be done with the man until the two were well and able. “For now you two rest. We’ll deal with everything else once you are well, but be sure to enjoy your down time,” he said, leaving the reason for his last statement to hang in the air. Tanaka still hadn’t thought out a fitting punishment.
Sebastian nodded and leaned back on his pillows. He was tired and wanted sleep, but refused to close his eyes and rest until Ciel was awake. Especially now that Tanaka was here. Some part of him feared that their punishment would be separation and that was one thing he couldn’t stand. He gave Ciel’s hand a gentle squeeze, the motion calming him down.
The boy groaned and shifted causing a pained mumble of Sebastian’s name to slip from his lips. His hand gripped at Sebastian and suddenly a bright blue eye sprung open. Ciel stared at the ceiling, looking slightly panicked as he tried to make sense of where he was. Harsh breaths were slowing down as he calmed his heartbeat
Slowly he turned his head, seeming relieved too see Sebastian still beside him. “You’re still here,” Ciel said like he believed the older man would have up and disappeared.
“I am,” Sebastian murmured and stroked Ciel’s hand, feeling his pulse race still. This was why he wanted to be awake when Ciel came out of his sleep. The mental trauma was going to be hard for the younger male as he wasn’t used to something so stressful as a near death experience. This was Sebastian’s third and he was still unnerved by it and was trying not think how his own dreams would play out.
Tanaka watched the sight silently, studying the way the two men interacted. Ciel’s response was the most concerning and Tanaka knew that any idea he had to split the two would end up being detrimental to Ciel’s psychological health. Right now it would be important to keep them together as much as possible. Ciel needed that security.
Ciel smiled. “I’m glad.” He stared at Sebastian a few moments, assuring himself that the man wouldn’t disappear, before looking past him and catching sight of Tanaka. The smile faded and he looked nervously away. He wasn’t sure why his grandfather was here, but this was the first time he had seen him since their argument in his office.
“Good morning, Ciel,” Tanaka said warmly, trying to put Ciel at ease. He could see Sebastian holding Ciel’s hand tighter, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. “I’m not going to separate you two, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just here to talk.”
Sebastian leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Ciel’s temple. “I’ll stay up still if you want,” he offered.
Ciel’s head shot over to look at Sebastian. “Still? Have you not slept?” For the moment Tanaka was ignored as Ciel found current importance in Sebastian’s health. “You idiot, you’re going to make yourself sicker.”
“I’m fine,” Sebastian answered, even though it was obvious that it was a lie. His eyes were heavy and sleep was calling for him, but Sebastian could stay awake for a little while longer.
A huff sounded from Ciel and he glanced at Tanaka. “Tell him he needs sleep,” he said to the old man, hoping that Tanaka’s authority would come in handy. It didn’t seem as if Sebastian was going to listen to Ciel’s ranting.
Tanaka smirked slightly. “Why should I?” He asked. “It seems as though neither of you are willing to listen to me when I say something. Why should now be any different?” It was cruel, but the point had been made.
Well that was a slap in the face, Ciel thought. He cringed and didn’t look Tanaka in the eye. “This is different,” he said, although not knowing just how it was different. All Ciel wanted was for Sebastian to get some rest. He had never wanted the man to stay up all night to watch over him. Ciel was a big boy, he could take care of himself. Hadn’t he proved as much, at least to a degree.
Sebastian chuckled and pressed a kiss to Ciel’s hand. “As my lord commands,” he teased, giving the hand another kiss. He leaned back against the pillows, sighing softly as his body relaxed into the bed and let his eyes close. Fingers laced through Ciel’s once more and he gave them one more squeeze before Sebastian allowed himself to fall asleep.
Ciel watched intently as he felt Sebastian’s hold fall lax around his hand, and the telltale signs of sleep ghosted over Sebastian’s features. It was then that Ciel knew the man to be asleep and he felt comforted that the older man was getting the rest that he needed. The idiot shouldn’t have kept himself up like that, but that was Sebastian and Ciel couldn’t help but feel loved in the silly little things that he did.
“Now that he’s asleep, we can talk,” Tanaka answered and looked at Ciel. “I’m glad to see that you’re doing better after your injuries. I don’t think I need to say how upset I am with you for going behind my back and against my orders.”
That wasn’t what Ciel wanted to hear at the moment. He was suddenly hoping for Sebastian to be awake. The man usually seemed to redirect all animosity directed towards Ciel. But now he was here with Tanaka and no one was going to save him from his grandfather’s wrath. A simple sorry wasn’t going to cut it, and Ciel didn’t feel inclined to give it. He wasn’t sorry for what he did. Sebastian was alive, he was alive, and everything had turned out for the better. Ciel had nothing to be sorry for. He saved Sebastian, something Tanaka would not have done.
“I did what I had to,” he said meekly, looking already slightly defeated in his injured state.
“I understand that,” Tanaka answered. “But that still doesn’t make it right. We almost lost both of you and you also put two other people in danger as well. It was reckless and down right irresponsible.”
Ciel huffed and settled an annoyed look at Tanaka. “I didn’t force them to do anything. They helped me out because they wanted to. They wanted Sebastian home safely and because of that we got him home safely,” he said. “As for it being irresponsible? I knew the risks, and I was prepared to accept them. I was ready to die if it meant Sebastian lived. He didn’t deserve to die for a mistake I roped him into making with me.”
Tanaka’s eyes narrowed slightly and he worked to keep himself calm so he didn’t snap at Ciel. “That may be, but Sebastian was also prepared to die as well. He never wanted you to end up in a such a condition.” He ran a hand over his face. “But I suppose that’s where we both went wrong. We’ve babied you and let you get away with things that normally wouldn’t be allowed. Which is why you’re to be punished the same as Sebastian.”
“Babying me has nothing to do with it. I love Sebastian, and I’m not going to let him die if I can help it. It’s as simple as that. I’ll always save him, or die trying.” And that was a hard fact. He would take whatever punishment Tanaka would dish out, but it would never change how Ciel felt. It was there that it seemed Tanaka could not understand Ciel’s point of view.
“I understand that you two love each other to the point of death and this incident has only made that bond stronger, but there’s no need for it to make you reckless. You cannot act in such a way when you take over this family,” Tanaka stated. He felt as though they were running around in circles and he was starting to see just how hard headed Ciel could be.
Ciel sighed and shook his head. “I’m not going to put myself in a situation to be taken. I learned that lesson, but I will continue to be ‘reckless’ when it comes to Sebastian. If I have to throw myself into the crossfire in order to save him, then I will. If that makes me a bad leader, then so be it.” He didn’t need to head the family, not at the cost of Sebastian’s safety. It was too much to ask of him. Sebastian would always rank higher than the family. That was an inarguable fact.
Tanaka massaged his temples as a headache built up behind his eyes. “You get this from your mother,” he said with a small groan. He had to resign himself to the fact that where Sebastian was concerned, Ciel would be stubborn and headstrong, as was the case for Sebastian with Ciel. Nothing could change that. No amount of threatening or punishment would change the fact. Instead, it would only push them away from the family.
“You make that sound like a bad thing,” Ciel bit out, still on the defensive and not yet willing to let his guard down. He was like a hissing cat, back hunched and hair standing on end. If it wasn’t for being bed ridden, he would be standing while pointing a threatening finger at the man. Although Ciel doubted it would have gotten him very far.
“And look where it got her,” Tanaka snapped back before clamping his mouth shut. That had been a low blow for both of them and he let out a long sigh, releasing the pent up anger. “I just don’t want the same fate to meet you as well. It may be selfish, but I’m not ready to lose you, or Sebastian, which is why I’m angry right now with the two of you.”
Nothing more was said on Ciel’s part, since he knew that they were far too close to screaming out hurtful words. Such things would get them nowhere, and only make the matter worse. As it stood neither was ready to see things in a different light and Ciel was fine with that for the moment. Everything would come in time, and hopefully this situation would never befall them again. It was the least Ciel could hope for.
Ciel laid his head back down and stared blankly at the ceiling. “How is everyone else?” He asked after a moment, realizing that he hadn’t heard from Finny or Claude.
“Everyone is doing fine. Finny is giving Claude a hard time for pronouncing you dead at the scene, teasing him and whatnot. And I’m sure Sebastian will have a few words with the man as well,” Tanaka answered. “Sebastian had believed you to be dead due to Claude’s words and didn’t take it too well. But it was a mistake that was easy to make, as it was hard to find your pulse.”
“What?” Ciel’s head snapped back to his grandfather, causing a sharp pain to flare in his shoulder. It was ignored. His mind was far too confused over what he was hearing. “I was pronounced dead?”
Tanaka frowned and he quickly realized that Sebastian hadn’t mentioned that fact to Ciel when they had first woken up, no doubt in an effort to protect the younger male. “Yes. When Claude and Finny first found you and Sebastian, they couldn’t find a heartbeat. It was The Undertaker who realized you were alive and you were rushed upstairs for surgery. Sebastian had to watch until he was sedated due to the fear he was harming himself more by trying to get to you.”
That hadn’t been what Ciel wanted to hear. How close had he been to death? What had Sebastian gone through? He looked to the man sleeping soundly in bed, and his heart clenched at just what Sebastian had endured. Tears prickled at Ciel’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. Slowly his hand reached through the bars separating Sebastian and himself and grabbed at the man’s hand. He was never letting Sebastian go. It felt wrong for Sebastian to worry over Ciel, when it was Sebastian who had faced so much mental torment. It should be Ciel worrying and doting on Sebastian. The man deserved that and so much more.
“How did he take it?” Ciel had to ask, knowing that truthfully his death had been something he had freely welcomed when he had walked into this whole mess with the intent of saving Sebastian. He suddenly wondered if he would have actually been doing Sebastian a favor.
Tanaka shrugged. “I’m not sure. At the time Sebastian was informed, I was downstairs with you. Claude would know what happened, but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.” He glanced at Sebastian before continuing. “When we brought you up here, Sebastian was being prepared for surgery and as soon as he heard you were still alive, he was out of the bed, screaming for you.”
It was something Tanaka had never heard before; such raw emotion from Sebastian was almost eerie. Sebastian didn’t show much emotion to people, bar Ciel, and those screams were something he would probably never forget. They were screams from a man who had lost everything only to regain it with the knowledge that it could be stolen away once more.
“I see.” Ciel swallowed hard. He didn’t want to think what might have happened at that time. A part of him needed to know, but another wanted to hide from that fact. He needed to know that giving his life for Sebastian wasn’t something he wanted out of selfishness, wanting to spare himself of the hurt of living without the man he loved beyond all else. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned himself. No matter what the issue was, it still wouldn’t stop Ciel from going after Sebastian if he needed to. It didn’t change anything.
“He’s fine now,” Tanaka stated. “Knowing that you’re still alive and next to him will help him heal. But I warn you now that the mental trauma you two faced will stay with you for a while. You were tortured, just as Sebastian was and something such as that doesn’t go away. We know what you went through, but Sebastian hasn’t spoken about his time in Joker’s grasp. We can only guess at what they did.”
Once more, things Ciel would rather not think about were piled on him. The torture had been nothing compared with the thought of losing Sebastian. Still, the images of Sebastian being shot in front of him haunted Ciel. Seeing Sebastian so torn and broken upon his return had also affected Ciel in more ways than he was willing to admit. He wasn’t yet sure how it all would affect him in the future but it was something he would deal with when he had to. Ciel already was trying to block out his own pain from his mind, the damage to his eye being his biggest worry at the moment.
Ciel laughed then, dry and humorless. “Life sucks,” he said.
“That it does,” Tanaka answered and stood up. “I should let you rest now. No doubt I’ve given you more than enough information for one day. Make sure you get some sleep as well. I want you healed up quickly.” He nodded at the younger male and moved to the door, planning to get some work done now that he knew Ciel and Sebastian were okay. Punishment was still in order, but that would come in time.
With a sigh, Ciel sunk back into his bed. He had done so much sleeping already, but his body still felt tired. A blue eye closed before Ciel could see Tanaka leave. It only took a few minutes more until Ciel fell back to sleep, hand still holding tightly onto Sebastian’s.
----------
Sebastian panted softly as he moved around the room, feeling Ciel’s eyes watching his every step. Or at least one eye watched him. The other eye was covered with a black eye patch and every so often, Ciel would reach up and tug at it, not used to the feeling.
Another lap was made around the spacious room and Sebastian paused at the ending point to catch his breath. It had been two weeks since they had returned from Joker’s hideout and only in the past few days had they been allowed the freedom to leave their beds and walk around. Sebastian jumped at the chance, wanting to build his strength back up and have the chance to move once more.
“You’re going to land yourself another week of being bedridden. Will’s going to come in and see you over doing it and he’s going to kill you. I won’t stop him either.” Ciel was sitting in bed, watching intently as Sebastian overdid himself. Unfortunately, Ciel’s hip was more than a hindrance to him when he walked, still hurting him quite a bit, only getting out of bed to use the restroom. Sebastian couldn’t have him out of bed while still trying to stay in shape. Ciel would do all that when he was forced through rehab, but for now he would watch Sebastian.
“He’s not going to come in because he doesn’t have a reason to,” Sebastian answered, leaning against the wall. His arm was still in a cast, preventing him from working his upper body as well. “And why would you want to stop me?” Truth be told, Sebastian didn’t want to stop. Staying in bed drove him crazy and getting up to work out helped to keep the horrible thoughts at bay.
Ciel rolled his eyes. “I don’t know... Why would I want to make you stop? Let’s say... So that you don’t rip out a stitch!” He yelled the last bit, his over protectiveness rearing its ugly head once more. Only down side was that Ciel was injured as well this time, he couldn’t reign in Sebastian as well as he once could.
Sebastian chuckled but pushed away from the wall so he could walk towards the bed. With a huff, he sat down carefully next to Ciel. “Better?” He asked, leaning over to give Ciel a kiss. He didn’t want the younger male to worry and he also had to admit that ripping out a stitch would be unpleasant, especially dealing with Will.
“Much better. I’d hate to have you hurt yourself worse and end up having to stay in bed once I’m discharged. I might not come visit you. Teach you a right lesson.” Ciel smirked and poked at Sebastian’s shoulder. It had been a trying few weeks, but Ciel was already beginning to feel much better. His shoulder was manageable, and his eye was healing to the point that some of the more shallow areas of the gash were shedding their scabs and revealing pale skin. He would have a scar there, but that wasn’t his greatest worry at the moment. The eye could now open, but Ciel did not dare open it yet, too afraid of finding out the extent of the damage. He didn’t want to know and he didn’t want Sebastian to know.
“You’re so mean to me,” Sebastian pouted and leaned back on the bed. He wiggled slightly so his head rested in Ciel’s lap and he looked up at Ciel’s face. His good arm rose, fingers brushing over pale skin, skimming lightly over the eye patch, before coming up to thread through dark hair. “Are you scared?” He asked lowly.
“Of you ripping a stitch? Hardly. It’ll be your own fault,” Ciel answered, trying to play off the question. He didn’t want to talk about this, not now. Sebastian had been trying to broach the conversation far too often for Ciel’s liking, but he just didn’t want to talk about it. Why worry about it now? Wait until it had to be addressed and no sooner.
Sebastian frowned at Ciel and let his fingers creep up higher until they brushed over the strings holding the patch in place. “You are scared,” he commented, feeling Ciel stiffen as he tugged lightly on the strings. He lowered his hand, not wanting to rush Ciel and further harm him. “It won’t make me think any less of you.”
Ciel wouldn’t look at Sebastian. A hand held down Sebastian’s wrist, not letting it move back to the ties of the eye patch. “Sebastian, please don’t,” Ciel pleaded, lone blue eye looking lost as it stared at the blankets.
“Why?” Sebastian asked, looking curiously at Ciel. Fear swam in the single eye and Sebastian tugged his hand out of Ciel’s grip so he could lower it down to his chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. It was easy to forget at times that Ciel handled things differently than he did and Sebastian had to remember to respect that.
“Don’t be,” Ciel said after a moment, expelling a breath that he’d been holding. “I should just get over it, and deal with whatever comes from this. Be I blind or not. I’ll get past it.” It was better in theory. Ciel still feared Sebastian’s opinion on the scar that would form. He might say that he didn’t care, but it was hard to find pleasure in something unsightly. It didn’t help that Ciel’s body would be littered in scars. He didn’t even want to think how the shallow whip lashes to his back had altered and ruined his tattoos.
Sebastian grabbed Ciel’s hand, pressing a kiss to it. “Hush,” he said, making the younger male push the thoughts from his mind. Tanaka would call it babying Ciel, but Sebastian called it something else. He called it caring, and it was something he would allow only for Ciel and if it got him in trouble, then so be it. Nothing from that day was going to further torment Ciel again.
“Don’t tell me to hush,” but Ciel drew Sebastian’s head up so that he could place a firm kiss on the man’s lips. At one time he had thought that he would never experience such a thing. Now Ciel could not get enough. He kissed him once more, simple and sweet, before pulling away. The action had brightened his mood just a little, and he found it within himself to smile. “We need to hurry and get well. I want you all to myself in our bed. There are so many things I want to do.” A wicked glint settled in Ciel’s eye.
A low chuckle left Sebastian’s throat. “I like the way your mind thinks. Maybe in a week or two, I’ll give you a small treat, a hint at what’s to come once we’re fully healed.” The thought was arousing, but it was nothing more than that. Their bodies were still too injured to do such a thing and they would have to wait patiently until the time came that they could indulge themselves once more.
Ciel chuckled. “Best be when no one can catch us. Tanaka really would split us up and I’m afraid Will might kill us.... Grell would kill me.” He frowned, not liking the way Grell fawned over Sebastian. The man was far too desperate in Ciel’s opinion.
“This is true. We shouldn’t push our limits right now, seeing as we’re still in trouble with Tanaka. The man can make our punishment much worse if he catches us in the act,” Sebastian stated. He pressed closer to Ciel, pushing his face into the younger male’s stomach and inhaling deeply. “For now, I’m content right here. Never to leave your side again.”
Not yet ready to throw the idea away just yet, Ciel threaded his hands through Sebastian’s hair. “You could always help me to the bathroom. My hip has been troubling me recently. Who knows, I might need help with an array of problems,” he prompted, looking like a sly little fox.
Sebastian shook his head. “Not falling for it again. Last time I let you convince to do something like that, you were taken away from me.” He wouldn’t let that happen again, even if they were back in the mansion. Tanaka could always take Ciel away and the thought had Sebastian clutching at Ciel even more.
“Indeed. Besides, I want to have you in our bed.” Ciel lay back, reclining on the bed. His hand continued to idly play with Sebastian’s hair and the atmosphere turned calm and serene. It was nice like this, with just the two of them. They didn’t receive many visitors. Everyone was too busy still cleaning up the mess that had been caused as the remaining members of Joker’s gang were picked off along with their contacts. The only people not involved were Finny and Ann. Finny had his hands full with Soot and Alex. Ciel missed the two, but Will had forbade animals from coming into the infirmary. Ann was still being led in the dark over everything.
Tanaka had passed along that the woman had broken some of his priceless pottery that he kept in his office. She was on a war path until she knew what had become of her precious nephew. Ciel didn’t understand why they just couldn’t tell her. There was no way that he could hide his eye, and he doubted he could come up with a convincing lie. Stabbing yourself in the eye with a paint brush didn’t sound all that believable. It wouldn’t be long before the woman broke into this room in her pursuit to track Ciel down. That would be a sight to see.
Sebastian hummed and pushed into the teasing touches, feeling them coax him into the dreamworld. After walking around earlier, his body was tired and wanted sleep. His eyes fluttered shut and he sighed against Ciel’s stomach. “You can have me anyway you want after this. Up against the wall, the mirror, or in a thunderstorm. I don’t care.”
Ciel thought that over for a moment, since it wasn’t often that Sebastian so freely offered himself up as he was doing now. “I do believe we had in the backseat of a car next on our list.” He chuckled pinched lightly on Sebastian’s ear. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”
"I'm awake," Sebastian answered lowly. His eyes remained closed though and his grip around Ciel loosened slightly. "The back seat of the car sounds good. Under normal circumstances, I'd say we should do it in Claude's car, still tempted to actually. But he did help, so I feel as though that would be in bad faith.”
That comment received a chuckle from Ciel who looked quite amused. “Wait a week and I’m sure he’ll have done something to warrant you retracting that statement.” Their current truce would only last so long. Soon enough the insults would be back and the animosity plentiful.
"Probably," Sebastian answered with a low chuckle. He yawned as Ciel's fingers started to thread through his hair again, lulling him to sleep. "I'm tired," he mumbled and pressed closer to Ciel.
“That’s your own fault. You shouldn’t have been pushing yourself so much, not when you’re not even fully healed,” Ciel reprimanded. “It serves you right!” He flicked Sebastian’s nose and withdrew his hands completely from the man.
Sebastian pouted and rubbed his nose. A low whine left his throat and he reached for Ciel's hands again, wanting to feel them running through his hair again. "I have my reasons," he stated, but didn't bother to elaborate any further.
It went quiet, Ciel finding himself relaxed, his eyes drooping. He wasn’t going to push Sebastian for answers right now; there was little point. It wasn’t as if he could currently live up to any threat he could dish out. This being bedridden thing was far from pleasant and Ciel hoped that Will would soon give him the green light to be discharged.
“How much longer do you think we’ll be kept here?” Ciel asked after a moment, unsure if Sebastian was still awake.
"At least another week," Sebastian answered lowly. "Then we'll be released and allowed to sleep in our own bed, see our girls, and have a bit more privacy." Even then, they still wouldn't be able to do anything. Sebastian's arm would still be in a cast and Ciel's wounds would be tender. It would be at least another two months before anything more could come from them.
Ciel groaned, not sure if he wanted to deal with all of this for another week. The constant smell of alcohol and cleaners was slowly getting to Ciel. Every moment he spent here was another reminder of what had happened and the changes Ciel would soon be made to face, both in himself and the world around him. For once he wished they could go back to their room and pretend none of this had ever happened. Ciel’s eye was still as functional as ever, no ugly gash tarnishing the bright blue. He wanted to believe that, just for a little while until reality crumbled around them as life took its course and forced the ugly truth of things upon him in the most cruelest of ways.
“A week is too long,” Ciel said, returning his fingers to Sebastian’s hair. It seemed the action calmed him as much as it did Sebastian.
"It'll go by faster than you think," Sebastian answered. "You'll sleep through most of it and I'll watch over you, making sure that no one takes you away from me again." Sebastian wouldn't admit it out loud, but it was his biggest fear now; to have someone take Ciel away. He liked to think that they were safe in the mansion but he refused to let his guard down. Every action made him suspicious and Sebastian was constantly looking over his shoulder now.
A big yawn escaped Ceil’s mouth, his eyes scrunching with the effort. “I’m not going anywhere. Not with this bum hip at least.” He poked at his still sore side and hissed. If felt bruised, but indeed an improvement to weeks prior. At least he could now stand and limp around with a crutch or Sebastian’s help. There was really no need for Sebastian to worry, or was there. Ciel frowned and looked suddenly serious as he stared down at the man in his lap. “Did you really think I was dead?” He asked, voice as soft as a whisper.
Sebastian stiffened and his grip around Ciel tightened. His eyes closed tightly as he recalled that day with precision and he found himself trembling. “Yes,” he whispered hoarsely. “Claude told me they couldn’t find your pulse when they found us and I didn’t want to believe him. You were still alive in my arms when I passed out but I didn’t know what happened after that. The next thing I knew, I was awake and they were telling me you weren’t. It hurt so much.”
“I had planned to die,” Ciel whispered, afraid of the repercussion his words would have. “I wanted you to live, even if it meant me dying. I never planned on living when I went to get you. It didn’t seem possible. Only when I saw you did I hope that we could return home together or die trying.”
Nails dug into Ciel’s back and Sebastian glanced up through his lashes to glare at Ciel. “You’re not allowed to say those words ever again. You have too much left of your life to even think about dying.” His grip loosened slightly as the anger ebbed away. “You were supposed to live, that was what I told you to do.”
Ciel returned Sebastian’s glare, looking a little miffed. “You were planning to do the same for me. What makes it okay for you, but not for me? You have just as much of your life left to live as I do. I’m not that much younger than you. Don’t forget it.” He flicked Sebastian’s ear hard, making it redden from the attack.
Sebastian hissed and rubbed his ear. “Because I was ready for it. I’ve been trained to lay my life down for the family, or in this case you. You weren’t ready and I didn’t want you to go through something like that.”
“And I didn’t want to live my life knowing that you died for my sake. I just couldn’t do it.” The hand in Sebastian’s hair moved away, curling into Ciel’s other arm as they crossed against his chest. The mood was quickly turning sour and he was beginning to wish Sebastian would fall asleep.
Sebastian’s mouth opened, ready to argue that he felt the same before he changed his mind. “Your life belongs to me, as mine does to you,” he murmured and ran his hand up Ciel’s side in a soothing manner. “No one else has that privilege.”
A crooked smile curved Ciel’s lips. “I do believe I’ve told you as much.” He leaned down to kiss Sebastian on the forehead, lingering there until his sore muscles ached in protest. It was funny how easily things shifted back to calm. It wasn’t worth being mad at one another at this moment in time, not when they had been so close to death. Ciel still couldn’t come to terms with everything that had happened. For now they seemed stuck in their own little world, reality poking in for only a minute before being forced out once more, leaving calm serenity behind.
Humming softly, Sebastian nodded and let his eyes fall shut once more. He couldn’t think about living a life without Ciel and he pushed the unsettling thoughts away. They were dangerous and only proved to show Sebastian just how much Ciel was truly his weakness. But at the same time, the male was his strength and Sebastian clung to him for now, wanting nothing more than to stay like this.
A low sigh left his mouth as he pushed further into Ciel’s warmth. His body ached and Sebastian yawned, wanting to go back to sleep. Tomorrow was another day and it seemed as though that was the best way to take things for now. One day at a time.
To Be Continued . . .