(no subject)

[akira_shinoda]

hey guys
or anyone who reads this
i've had a pretty interesting summer
a lot happened
and i probably should have written about it
but instead i chose to keep in to myself
probably not the best idea considering i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown
but i'm stronger than that

i can make it through
school starts on thursday
i'm excited to see everyone again
i made varsity volleyball on thursday
i dont really know how to feel about it
because bish has me as a setter, and i'm not a setter, i'm a middle hitter
it's just an awkward change
but it's varsity and it's what i wanted and i'm happy
i'm nervous about how much work i'm gonna have this up coming year
i just cant wait for college and getting out of this small town

i think that ever since me and Brett broke up i havent really had a lot of will to do much of anything
and that disgusts me
the fact that i need a guy to make me happy and motivate me
and how long is this "break" going to be?
what are the odds of us getting back together?
i'm so scared to call or IM him or contact him in any way
i'm terrified he wouldnt want to talk to me
i feel like i've lost him forever
i've been trying to force him out of my thoughts, but it's not working too well
i just find myself thinking about him at the most random times and the littlest things remind me of him
and it kind of sucks

i miss dani too
she's probably one of the only reasons i'm happy at austin
well, dani and ally and that group
they kind of make my life.

i'm gonna try to get back into the habit of updating