(no subject)

[akira12]

i really need to sort my life out. id love to say i had a great night tonight but i cant it wasnt spent with the one i care about the most. i met up with her down notts friday and i felt like a kid again id never been so nervous i kissed her like i had a thousand times before but it made my heart skip a beat just like the first time. i really dont know what the fuck is goin on i have some people tellin me to do this with my life and others sayin do that and i really dont know what to do for me. ive allways sed that when my life takes a turn for the worst it dont do it by halfs and just latly that has come aparent. ive been the lowest of lows the last couple of weeks and the closist people to me havent even noticed, its not there fault cos i keep a brave face and allways have to protect the people im close to from feelin the shit im goin thru on top of there stuff. i dont know why im writin this now mybe i feel now its got that bit too much and i need the help of people around me. i never have before i have allways put my feelings aside to help the ones i care about but not bein able to sleep with the thoughts is just killin me and i need to get my self to a place that feels good. and the only person i wanna be with right now is too far away and that kills me. she means the world to me and i honestly think i have gone down in her eyes. on a lighter note i took my dad out 2night and it hurt me alot. i care about him alot more than he knows and i really didnt wanna leave him to go with my friend but he made me. i wih things would never change but i guess change is inevatable. ill leave who ever is reading this in peace now and ill let u know this if u can really give me what i wont in my heart dont try and fix this cos it would hurt to much to find owt i cant have it. peace out people and thanx for readin.
love boo xx