Notes and To The 10th Power (insert maniacal laughter)
So I did the notes for episode 37 of Ryuki. I can't help but joke that Yui and Shinji are doing a better job at being boyfriends to Eri than Ren is this episode.
ANYWAY (enjoy my new profile pic on FFN):
To The 10th Power
Chapter: Albedo
Notes: NO REGRETS! This love never ends!
1
Look in the mirror
There are fourteen tics, quirks, and habits that Albedo has picked up from Ben Tennyson. Most of them are unconscious or uncontrollable things like muscle twitches, allergies, and the odd hormonal behavior. His addiction to chili fries is his own, though; Ben only went through them as a phase. But the habit of absently snacking while working on something requiring all of his concentration is pure Ben.
The attitude is definitely his. He’s considerably older than Ben even outside the Galvan/human lifespan difference; translate the ages, and Albedo should be close to thirty human years, but incredibly arrogant and rather immature. It’s grating to know that his physical age now matches his emotional age. It’s even worse to know that Ben’s capable of acting far more mature than he is.
2
Justify
Albedo was fired from three different labs for his behavioral problems, since it was impossible for nearly anyone to work with him. He was frequently praised for his brilliance, but there were several criticisms about his arrogance. He ignored it, rationalizing that because he was so brilliant, it set him apart from everyone else. The only one who never really cared was the only one more prickly and impossible than he was, Azmuth. Somehow or another, the fact that Azmuth treated him just the way Albedo treated everyone else made him want to impress him more. Sure, it annoyed him that he wasn’t allowed to work on specific parts of the Omnitrix, but he was treated no differently from any of the other assistants on the project, none of whom were allowed to know certain portions that others did. The secrecy and the importance of the project were paramount. Albedo actually managed to justify this attitude because he knew just how important it was.
And then Azmuth let that reckless, idiotic human child keep the thing. Like it was a toy, not the single most important piece of scientific advancement the galaxy-maybe even the entire universe-had ever seen.
Albedo tried to reason with his mentor, but Azmuth wouldn’t hear of it. Worse still, one of the project assistants who had been taken back after serving time in Incarcecon for stealing his work, Myaxx, agreed with him-or at least, Albedo could tell she privately did agree, even if she refused to admit it herself.
It felt like everyone had betrayed their principles. That’s why he did it. He had to set things right.
It wasn’t because he couldn’t accept that Azmuth would trust this alien boy where he hadn’t trusted his own apprentice. Not at all.
3
Violence
Possibly the most terrifying thought Albedo has ever considered is the possibility that Ben might forgive him. That he’ll one day take pity on him, forget the fact that they have no problem trying to kill each other when given the chance. Take him in, make him join that bizarre family he’s created, comprised of the most mismatched people the universe has ever seen.
He doesn’t know why, but it appalls him. The sheer thought of it keeps him up at night, knowing that given the chance, he would kill Ben before letting him offer that humiliating option. And not just kill him passively, mind. But to personally beat him, feel his bones break, make him bleed, close off his windpipe, smash his skull into the ground-whatever it is, just so he can watch the face that resembles the one he’s stuck with just die.
He’s had nightmares about it, the thoughts have been so intense and hate-inducing. When he wakes from them, he paces around in distress he at least knows is his own. Whether the violent passion is from him or Ben is something that scares him more than the dreams themselves.
4
Family
If you determine family by those who are related to you, Albedo’s only remaining family is his older sister, Umbra, who heads up Parallax Observatory in orbit around Galvan Prime. (Ben Tennyson’s family doesn’t count; he’s not human, he’s not) She had always been just as ambitious as he had been, though she was understanding toward his lack of social skills. She had actually encouraged him, insisting that he must learn to do whatever was necessary to advance his career. When he was arrested for attacking the Omnitrix-wielder, she quietly had him disowned.
If you determine family by those who actually care about your wellbeing (as he knows they do), then Azmuth is his only family. Albedo tries not to think about that.
5
Better
Despite everything, there have been a couple of encounters between Albedo and Ben that didn’t result in either of them trying to kill the other. In particular, there was a meeting soon after Vilgax’s defeat, and they were just too exhausted to fight.
It was…odd, to say the least. They met behind one of the local eating-houses or whatever they’re called on Earth. And Ben seemed like he’d been waiting for him. He was sitting at a table, drinking one of those disgusting beverages-the kind that resemble food prepared for human infants-and he pointed out a bag of chili fries on the table across from him. That way, they’d just have to eat, not sit together or try to converse.
When Albedo’s curiosity got the better of him, he noted that Ben was working on some problems in basic trigonometry-simple stuff, subjects mastered while he was still a child-but he was struggling somewhat with it. Against his better judgment, Albedo told him another approach to the math. Unsurprisingly-either because he was too trusting or because he had some sense when it came to geniuses-Ben stopped, erased his progress, and tried it the right way. Albedo snorted and made a comment about how it was amazing humans could manage even the most basic mathematics, and…to his surprise, Ben looked up and glared at him. He then told him that he was sick of hearing different races belittling one another, and whether it was the Galvan or the Highbreed, it didn’t make it any more right.
It was possibly the one and only time anyone ever got Albedo to shut up with his arrogance-after all, nothing stung worse than being compared to the genocidal race who had nearly destroyed all life in the galaxy less than a year before. He didn’t apologize, but for the first time, he felt like maybe he should. The best he could offer was a guilty admission that maybe humans weren’t so bad, especially if they could manage to make even the unhealthiest food in the universe taste appetizing. That at least got a smirk out of Ben as he concentrated on his trigonometry.
Nothing really changed between them. Albedo still hates Ben, and Ben still hates Albedo. It’s comfortingly familiar. But if there’s anything that’s different, it’s that Albedo’s trying a little harder to keep his hatred limited more to Ben than to the human race as a whole. He grudgingly admits they’ve made accomplishments, including in aerospace and mathematics, even if there is a lot to be desired. It’s not because he’s beginning to understand them, nor is he trying to build bridges. He’s doing it because he’s a Galvan, and they are better than this.
And he’ll be damned if a human is going to be better than him.
6
This never happened
Everything about this body requires patience, which isn’t one of Albedo’s greatest strengths. In order to build or repair anything, he has to carefully maneuver large, clumsy fingers around delicate instruments. He has to calculate the height of anything he needs to walk under, in order to avoid hitting his head. Even worse is that by his calculations, he’s getting taller, and these growth spurts mean that he is constantly hungry.
The worst part, however, is grooming. He’s grateful that he doesn’t have any facial hair growth that he’d have to shave because he worries that with his tenuous motor skills, he might deeply cut himself or nick an artery. When the day does come that facial hair grows in, he’s going to just have to deal with it being there. But even worse than that had been the smell. No matter how often he bathed, he constantly smelled some hours later, particularly after doing anything strenuous. He soon learned that humans used a chemical called deodorant to prevent the smell during the day, and he knew he was going to have to steal some for himself.
That was nearly a disaster and a half when he ran into Kevin Levin in the shopping center, and right in the middle of the deodorant aisle, to boot. They stared at each other for a minute before Levin noticed the deodorant in Albedo’s hand. Rolling his eyes, he then proceeded to take a different stick of deodorant and hand it to him, warning him that the other was formulated for females. Albedo traded it out, but not before noticing the box in Levin’s hand-whatever it was, it read, “tampons.” Levin’s face took on a quality Albedo supposed would be called “stony,” before saying, “Gwen asked me to pick these up.” They then parted ways, hoping never to see one another again.
Of course, as these things go, they did. They were enemies, after all. But between them, they’ve silently vowed never to speak of this again. It’s just too embarrassing.
7
Why?
He should blame Hugh for this. Ben never would have known to interfere had Hugh not told him to. He never would have tried to stop Albedo had he known the device was only supposed to restore his original form. At the very least, his allies would have stopped him. And Hugh even admitted that his intent was to sabotage Albedo’s chances of becoming Galvan again so he wouldn’t leave the Earth.
But he doesn’t. And he doesn’t know why.
He should hate him. He knows how to hate-he has hatred in spades. Enough to hold Ben accountable even for the flimsiest of reasons. Enough to despise Azmuth for distrusting him and spurring him to create his own Omnitrix and result in this fiasco. Hating Hugh for sabotaging him should be laughably easy.
But he can’t. And he doesn’t know why.
He doesn’t like them very much, these misfit aliens he’s gathered into a poor facsimile of a traveling thespian troupe. They can barely perform on stage, let alone in battle during the rare times when they run into trouble with the Forever Knights or someone else who catches wind that they’re real aliens and not humans in costume. And Hugh especially is clumsy and irritating-forever stumbling on the sets and rambling on in that nasally voice of his.
But Albedo can neither blame nor hate him or the others. And he doesn’t want to be separated from them, for all they test the limits of his patience and continued mental health. His plan all along was to take them with him off-planet, rather than let the Forever Knights have them.
It’s that strange thing called friendship-something he has no time for and no patience. He has never needed to rely on anyone, and everyone betrays him anyway.
But they’re his friends, and he knows it.
And he doesn’t know why.
8
Personality conflicts
Once, and only once, Albedo made the mistake of attacking when Gwen Tennyson and Kevin Levin were arguing.
The lovers’ spat was, for lack of a better term, explosive. Nineteen robots were obliterated by Anodyte energy blasts that overloaded their circuits. A ship’s fusion drive almost went critical had Ben not used one of his aliens to contain the radiation.
And after destroying everything of Albedo’s, Gwen and Kevin still weren’t done. After all, there was still an entire abandoned warehouse to demolish while they pretended they weren’t fighting each other.
Albedo and Ben were forced to duck underneath the wreckage of his ship, too terrified to do anything but call a temporary truce. The first chance they got, they made a run for it and hid out at another eating-house. Nobody questioned them as they got their food and ate, catching their breaths and hoping that the argument would settle soon.
“Why?” Albedo had to ask.
Ben looked up in surprise. “Why what?”
“Why stay with them if they argue in such a way that even your wellbeing might be threatened?”
Ben paused for a moment to think, chewing on a fry.
“I guess because I trust them. Yeah, they get into fights and drive me nuts, but I do the same to them. And I know that they’re not really going to hurt me or each other. It’s just…personality conflicts.”
Albedo snorted and almost made a comment about humans’ confusing relationships and mating habits, but he remembered the way Ben had nearly lost his temper the last time, and held his tongue. He didn’t want to run away from more yelling and explosions.
Though the more he thought about it, the more he thought it explained his former mentor’s relationships with his protégés, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Ben and Azmuth had more in common than either cared to admit.
9
Desire
In his time performing the role of Ben for Ben 10 Live, Albedo put hours of research into the deception until he’d perfected it. One could even say that he made a better Ben than the original (the original, however, was not the one to say this). Part of the plan was that if needed, he could pose as Ben to fool his allies, thereby destroying him from the inside out.
But on one occasion, this backfired in a way that was strange and oddly so right.
He went to Julie Yamamoto for some time when he knew that Ben was away taking care of an incident he’d managed to set up. The girl was receptive to him, surprisingly so, willing to do anything for him. It was so at odds with his research that he knew something was wrong.
“You’re not Julie Yamamoto, are you?”
The girl seemed shocked for a moment, then closed her eyes and revealed her true form: the Hive Queen, who had assimilated the identity of Elena Validus.
“You’re not Ben either, are you?” she asked, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Albedo didn’t know why he felt a pang of regret when he revealed his dyed hair and contact lenses, but he was at least relieved that the Queen didn’t kill him in rage. Despite himself, he asked why she was going to such lengths to deceive him, and he learned that the identity-lost Hive had fallen in love with Ben and wanted him, and this was the only way she thought she could get him. He proceeded to tell her just how stupid he thought this was.
Amazingly, she didn’t kill him for that either.
He thought that was the end of it-and for the sake of his deteriorating sense of self-preservation, he sincerely hoped it was-but she arrived some days later to tell him that her deception had failed, just as he’d said it would. She generated tendrils from her drones, gently wrapping them around his body like an embrace, caressing him.
He should have felt more uncomfortable at this, but in the arms of the Queen, he couldn’t seem to find his need to survive. Somehow, it seemed bound in her boundless desire.
“Why do you do want me?” he asked. “You know I’m not Ben.”
“I know,” she answered, her voice low and close to his ears, whispering from the drones.
Any of the drones could have killed him then, and he knew that. Just one plunging into his body, and it could burst a blood vessel, sever a neural connection-do any number of lethal things.
It could also make him her slave, and yet he still had his freedom. If he wanted, he could simply walk through the tendrils wrapped around him. They were flowing, almost liquid-easy to part. She would not hold him prisoner.
She did not want to. She was giving him a choice.
“Why?” he asked, not trusting himself to look at the face now so close to his own. She had shapeshifted her body using the drones around him, taking on her humanoid form. It was not the true form of the Queen drone, nor was it the true form of the human Elena. Her arms were loosely wrapped around him-not enough to hold him fast, but enough to make him feel like she was trying to cling to him.
“Why what?” she asked.
“Why me? Ben is the one you wanted.”
“But he doesn’t want me.” There was that profound sadness in her voice again, and he could feel her arms trembling. Was she crying? Was it possible for her to cry?
“Why do you want me?” Albedo asked again, almost desperately.
“I could give you anything you wanted,” she offered. “Just wish it, and I can create it. There is nothing I can’t do for you.”
Her words, her voice, sent shivers through his body-his human body. Was it possible that she could do it? Could she manage to restore his true form, help him create a device that would give him the ability to change back?
But there was a catch. There was always a catch.
His voice shook as he asked, “What do you want?”
The arms pulled back a little. “What?”
“What do you want? You have to want something.”
And here, he made the mistake of turning to look at her. Her expression was that of complete shock.
“What do I…” she stammered. “What do I want?”
The question had stopped her, confused her, broken her. She let go of him and stepped back, her form changing back and forth: Julie, Elena, the Queen.
“What do I want?” she asked, silver tears running down her face.
It was so horrible and beautiful that Albedo found himself reaching for her, putting a hand to her face to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“Elena…”
But the moment he spoke her name, he broke it. She reverted to a swarm of drones, flying away from his hand and out into the light of the moon, never to be seen by his eyes again.
10
Once upon a dream
He knew the odds of seeing her again were low. He knew that it was his fault, that it was his paranoia and his question that had sent her away.
But there were still times, on moonless nights, when he thought he saw a glint of silver in the sky. When he thought he heard her voice on the breeze. When he thought he felt her arms around him.
And when he was caught under the Dream Eater, with doctors preparing him for a risky surgery, he felt warm metal against his skin and a silver voice whisper through his nightmares, “I’m here,” and his body and mind went at ease.
Regarding the final two: I have NO regrets.
ANYWAY (enjoy my new profile pic on FFN):
To The 10th Power
Chapter: Albedo
Notes: NO REGRETS! This love never ends!
1
Look in the mirror
There are fourteen tics, quirks, and habits that Albedo has picked up from Ben Tennyson. Most of them are unconscious or uncontrollable things like muscle twitches, allergies, and the odd hormonal behavior. His addiction to chili fries is his own, though; Ben only went through them as a phase. But the habit of absently snacking while working on something requiring all of his concentration is pure Ben.
The attitude is definitely his. He’s considerably older than Ben even outside the Galvan/human lifespan difference; translate the ages, and Albedo should be close to thirty human years, but incredibly arrogant and rather immature. It’s grating to know that his physical age now matches his emotional age. It’s even worse to know that Ben’s capable of acting far more mature than he is.
2
Justify
Albedo was fired from three different labs for his behavioral problems, since it was impossible for nearly anyone to work with him. He was frequently praised for his brilliance, but there were several criticisms about his arrogance. He ignored it, rationalizing that because he was so brilliant, it set him apart from everyone else. The only one who never really cared was the only one more prickly and impossible than he was, Azmuth. Somehow or another, the fact that Azmuth treated him just the way Albedo treated everyone else made him want to impress him more. Sure, it annoyed him that he wasn’t allowed to work on specific parts of the Omnitrix, but he was treated no differently from any of the other assistants on the project, none of whom were allowed to know certain portions that others did. The secrecy and the importance of the project were paramount. Albedo actually managed to justify this attitude because he knew just how important it was.
And then Azmuth let that reckless, idiotic human child keep the thing. Like it was a toy, not the single most important piece of scientific advancement the galaxy-maybe even the entire universe-had ever seen.
Albedo tried to reason with his mentor, but Azmuth wouldn’t hear of it. Worse still, one of the project assistants who had been taken back after serving time in Incarcecon for stealing his work, Myaxx, agreed with him-or at least, Albedo could tell she privately did agree, even if she refused to admit it herself.
It felt like everyone had betrayed their principles. That’s why he did it. He had to set things right.
It wasn’t because he couldn’t accept that Azmuth would trust this alien boy where he hadn’t trusted his own apprentice. Not at all.
3
Violence
Possibly the most terrifying thought Albedo has ever considered is the possibility that Ben might forgive him. That he’ll one day take pity on him, forget the fact that they have no problem trying to kill each other when given the chance. Take him in, make him join that bizarre family he’s created, comprised of the most mismatched people the universe has ever seen.
He doesn’t know why, but it appalls him. The sheer thought of it keeps him up at night, knowing that given the chance, he would kill Ben before letting him offer that humiliating option. And not just kill him passively, mind. But to personally beat him, feel his bones break, make him bleed, close off his windpipe, smash his skull into the ground-whatever it is, just so he can watch the face that resembles the one he’s stuck with just die.
He’s had nightmares about it, the thoughts have been so intense and hate-inducing. When he wakes from them, he paces around in distress he at least knows is his own. Whether the violent passion is from him or Ben is something that scares him more than the dreams themselves.
4
Family
If you determine family by those who are related to you, Albedo’s only remaining family is his older sister, Umbra, who heads up Parallax Observatory in orbit around Galvan Prime. (Ben Tennyson’s family doesn’t count; he’s not human, he’s not) She had always been just as ambitious as he had been, though she was understanding toward his lack of social skills. She had actually encouraged him, insisting that he must learn to do whatever was necessary to advance his career. When he was arrested for attacking the Omnitrix-wielder, she quietly had him disowned.
If you determine family by those who actually care about your wellbeing (as he knows they do), then Azmuth is his only family. Albedo tries not to think about that.
5
Better
Despite everything, there have been a couple of encounters between Albedo and Ben that didn’t result in either of them trying to kill the other. In particular, there was a meeting soon after Vilgax’s defeat, and they were just too exhausted to fight.
It was…odd, to say the least. They met behind one of the local eating-houses or whatever they’re called on Earth. And Ben seemed like he’d been waiting for him. He was sitting at a table, drinking one of those disgusting beverages-the kind that resemble food prepared for human infants-and he pointed out a bag of chili fries on the table across from him. That way, they’d just have to eat, not sit together or try to converse.
When Albedo’s curiosity got the better of him, he noted that Ben was working on some problems in basic trigonometry-simple stuff, subjects mastered while he was still a child-but he was struggling somewhat with it. Against his better judgment, Albedo told him another approach to the math. Unsurprisingly-either because he was too trusting or because he had some sense when it came to geniuses-Ben stopped, erased his progress, and tried it the right way. Albedo snorted and made a comment about how it was amazing humans could manage even the most basic mathematics, and…to his surprise, Ben looked up and glared at him. He then told him that he was sick of hearing different races belittling one another, and whether it was the Galvan or the Highbreed, it didn’t make it any more right.
It was possibly the one and only time anyone ever got Albedo to shut up with his arrogance-after all, nothing stung worse than being compared to the genocidal race who had nearly destroyed all life in the galaxy less than a year before. He didn’t apologize, but for the first time, he felt like maybe he should. The best he could offer was a guilty admission that maybe humans weren’t so bad, especially if they could manage to make even the unhealthiest food in the universe taste appetizing. That at least got a smirk out of Ben as he concentrated on his trigonometry.
Nothing really changed between them. Albedo still hates Ben, and Ben still hates Albedo. It’s comfortingly familiar. But if there’s anything that’s different, it’s that Albedo’s trying a little harder to keep his hatred limited more to Ben than to the human race as a whole. He grudgingly admits they’ve made accomplishments, including in aerospace and mathematics, even if there is a lot to be desired. It’s not because he’s beginning to understand them, nor is he trying to build bridges. He’s doing it because he’s a Galvan, and they are better than this.
And he’ll be damned if a human is going to be better than him.
6
This never happened
Everything about this body requires patience, which isn’t one of Albedo’s greatest strengths. In order to build or repair anything, he has to carefully maneuver large, clumsy fingers around delicate instruments. He has to calculate the height of anything he needs to walk under, in order to avoid hitting his head. Even worse is that by his calculations, he’s getting taller, and these growth spurts mean that he is constantly hungry.
The worst part, however, is grooming. He’s grateful that he doesn’t have any facial hair growth that he’d have to shave because he worries that with his tenuous motor skills, he might deeply cut himself or nick an artery. When the day does come that facial hair grows in, he’s going to just have to deal with it being there. But even worse than that had been the smell. No matter how often he bathed, he constantly smelled some hours later, particularly after doing anything strenuous. He soon learned that humans used a chemical called deodorant to prevent the smell during the day, and he knew he was going to have to steal some for himself.
That was nearly a disaster and a half when he ran into Kevin Levin in the shopping center, and right in the middle of the deodorant aisle, to boot. They stared at each other for a minute before Levin noticed the deodorant in Albedo’s hand. Rolling his eyes, he then proceeded to take a different stick of deodorant and hand it to him, warning him that the other was formulated for females. Albedo traded it out, but not before noticing the box in Levin’s hand-whatever it was, it read, “tampons.” Levin’s face took on a quality Albedo supposed would be called “stony,” before saying, “Gwen asked me to pick these up.” They then parted ways, hoping never to see one another again.
Of course, as these things go, they did. They were enemies, after all. But between them, they’ve silently vowed never to speak of this again. It’s just too embarrassing.
7
Why?
He should blame Hugh for this. Ben never would have known to interfere had Hugh not told him to. He never would have tried to stop Albedo had he known the device was only supposed to restore his original form. At the very least, his allies would have stopped him. And Hugh even admitted that his intent was to sabotage Albedo’s chances of becoming Galvan again so he wouldn’t leave the Earth.
But he doesn’t. And he doesn’t know why.
He should hate him. He knows how to hate-he has hatred in spades. Enough to hold Ben accountable even for the flimsiest of reasons. Enough to despise Azmuth for distrusting him and spurring him to create his own Omnitrix and result in this fiasco. Hating Hugh for sabotaging him should be laughably easy.
But he can’t. And he doesn’t know why.
He doesn’t like them very much, these misfit aliens he’s gathered into a poor facsimile of a traveling thespian troupe. They can barely perform on stage, let alone in battle during the rare times when they run into trouble with the Forever Knights or someone else who catches wind that they’re real aliens and not humans in costume. And Hugh especially is clumsy and irritating-forever stumbling on the sets and rambling on in that nasally voice of his.
But Albedo can neither blame nor hate him or the others. And he doesn’t want to be separated from them, for all they test the limits of his patience and continued mental health. His plan all along was to take them with him off-planet, rather than let the Forever Knights have them.
It’s that strange thing called friendship-something he has no time for and no patience. He has never needed to rely on anyone, and everyone betrays him anyway.
But they’re his friends, and he knows it.
And he doesn’t know why.
8
Personality conflicts
Once, and only once, Albedo made the mistake of attacking when Gwen Tennyson and Kevin Levin were arguing.
The lovers’ spat was, for lack of a better term, explosive. Nineteen robots were obliterated by Anodyte energy blasts that overloaded their circuits. A ship’s fusion drive almost went critical had Ben not used one of his aliens to contain the radiation.
And after destroying everything of Albedo’s, Gwen and Kevin still weren’t done. After all, there was still an entire abandoned warehouse to demolish while they pretended they weren’t fighting each other.
Albedo and Ben were forced to duck underneath the wreckage of his ship, too terrified to do anything but call a temporary truce. The first chance they got, they made a run for it and hid out at another eating-house. Nobody questioned them as they got their food and ate, catching their breaths and hoping that the argument would settle soon.
“Why?” Albedo had to ask.
Ben looked up in surprise. “Why what?”
“Why stay with them if they argue in such a way that even your wellbeing might be threatened?”
Ben paused for a moment to think, chewing on a fry.
“I guess because I trust them. Yeah, they get into fights and drive me nuts, but I do the same to them. And I know that they’re not really going to hurt me or each other. It’s just…personality conflicts.”
Albedo snorted and almost made a comment about humans’ confusing relationships and mating habits, but he remembered the way Ben had nearly lost his temper the last time, and held his tongue. He didn’t want to run away from more yelling and explosions.
Though the more he thought about it, the more he thought it explained his former mentor’s relationships with his protégés, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Ben and Azmuth had more in common than either cared to admit.
9
Desire
In his time performing the role of Ben for Ben 10 Live, Albedo put hours of research into the deception until he’d perfected it. One could even say that he made a better Ben than the original (the original, however, was not the one to say this). Part of the plan was that if needed, he could pose as Ben to fool his allies, thereby destroying him from the inside out.
But on one occasion, this backfired in a way that was strange and oddly so right.
He went to Julie Yamamoto for some time when he knew that Ben was away taking care of an incident he’d managed to set up. The girl was receptive to him, surprisingly so, willing to do anything for him. It was so at odds with his research that he knew something was wrong.
“You’re not Julie Yamamoto, are you?”
The girl seemed shocked for a moment, then closed her eyes and revealed her true form: the Hive Queen, who had assimilated the identity of Elena Validus.
“You’re not Ben either, are you?” she asked, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Albedo didn’t know why he felt a pang of regret when he revealed his dyed hair and contact lenses, but he was at least relieved that the Queen didn’t kill him in rage. Despite himself, he asked why she was going to such lengths to deceive him, and he learned that the identity-lost Hive had fallen in love with Ben and wanted him, and this was the only way she thought she could get him. He proceeded to tell her just how stupid he thought this was.
Amazingly, she didn’t kill him for that either.
He thought that was the end of it-and for the sake of his deteriorating sense of self-preservation, he sincerely hoped it was-but she arrived some days later to tell him that her deception had failed, just as he’d said it would. She generated tendrils from her drones, gently wrapping them around his body like an embrace, caressing him.
He should have felt more uncomfortable at this, but in the arms of the Queen, he couldn’t seem to find his need to survive. Somehow, it seemed bound in her boundless desire.
“Why do you do want me?” he asked. “You know I’m not Ben.”
“I know,” she answered, her voice low and close to his ears, whispering from the drones.
Any of the drones could have killed him then, and he knew that. Just one plunging into his body, and it could burst a blood vessel, sever a neural connection-do any number of lethal things.
It could also make him her slave, and yet he still had his freedom. If he wanted, he could simply walk through the tendrils wrapped around him. They were flowing, almost liquid-easy to part. She would not hold him prisoner.
She did not want to. She was giving him a choice.
“Why?” he asked, not trusting himself to look at the face now so close to his own. She had shapeshifted her body using the drones around him, taking on her humanoid form. It was not the true form of the Queen drone, nor was it the true form of the human Elena. Her arms were loosely wrapped around him-not enough to hold him fast, but enough to make him feel like she was trying to cling to him.
“Why what?” she asked.
“Why me? Ben is the one you wanted.”
“But he doesn’t want me.” There was that profound sadness in her voice again, and he could feel her arms trembling. Was she crying? Was it possible for her to cry?
“Why do you want me?” Albedo asked again, almost desperately.
“I could give you anything you wanted,” she offered. “Just wish it, and I can create it. There is nothing I can’t do for you.”
Her words, her voice, sent shivers through his body-his human body. Was it possible that she could do it? Could she manage to restore his true form, help him create a device that would give him the ability to change back?
But there was a catch. There was always a catch.
His voice shook as he asked, “What do you want?”
The arms pulled back a little. “What?”
“What do you want? You have to want something.”
And here, he made the mistake of turning to look at her. Her expression was that of complete shock.
“What do I…” she stammered. “What do I want?”
The question had stopped her, confused her, broken her. She let go of him and stepped back, her form changing back and forth: Julie, Elena, the Queen.
“What do I want?” she asked, silver tears running down her face.
It was so horrible and beautiful that Albedo found himself reaching for her, putting a hand to her face to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“Elena…”
But the moment he spoke her name, he broke it. She reverted to a swarm of drones, flying away from his hand and out into the light of the moon, never to be seen by his eyes again.
10
Once upon a dream
He knew the odds of seeing her again were low. He knew that it was his fault, that it was his paranoia and his question that had sent her away.
But there were still times, on moonless nights, when he thought he saw a glint of silver in the sky. When he thought he heard her voice on the breeze. When he thought he felt her arms around him.
And when he was caught under the Dream Eater, with doctors preparing him for a risky surgery, he felt warm metal against his skin and a silver voice whisper through his nightmares, “I’m here,” and his body and mind went at ease.
Regarding the final two: I have NO regrets.