Forever me - existentionalist crisis
Beware this is alcohol induced crisis, but you know in my country, we have a saying, that the drunk will say what the the sober person actually thinks, so I guess, being drunk and down actually is a pretty good filter about how I feel about things when I am sober. Well, ok, that's a lie to justify this terrible outpour, but well yeah.....I have once again this feeling of exitentionalist crisis. Why am I me, being me and that kind of stuff. Always when I sort of start liking myself, there comes something to make me see, just....pitiful my existence is.
Ok, to explain this outpour. I went drinking with my friends, because I am doing a one year scholarship in Japan and it is slowly coming to the end and the first peopel are leaving already, that in intself is a pretty good reason to be depressed, if you ask me. So long story short, the guy qho is actually pretty cute has never been interested at all, the guy who might have been interested a little bit is a selfish little kid and I reacted to him absolutely inappropriately in my inebriated state. And really, is it just too much to ask for somebody to care for me?
It seems, it is. So I guess that inside, I will crawl into my hole again, back where I belong, with my slash and loneliness. And my guinea pigs, oh did I mention that one of them died unexpectedly? yeah, that's my life. Never in the right place, always in the wrong time.
Ok, to explain this outpour. I went drinking with my friends, because I am doing a one year scholarship in Japan and it is slowly coming to the end and the first peopel are leaving already, that in intself is a pretty good reason to be depressed, if you ask me. So long story short, the guy qho is actually pretty cute has never been interested at all, the guy who might have been interested a little bit is a selfish little kid and I reacted to him absolutely inappropriately in my inebriated state. And really, is it just too much to ask for somebody to care for me?
It seems, it is. So I guess that inside, I will crawl into my hole again, back where I belong, with my slash and loneliness. And my guinea pigs, oh did I mention that one of them died unexpectedly? yeah, that's my life. Never in the right place, always in the wrong time.