the thing about me
The thing about me I have always sort of liked and disliked is that I don't let what people think about me influence my decisions and I am stronger than most people. Also smarter, I know it. Or at least I like to think so (a vast difference, I know).
I like to be with smart people, because it spurs me on, but at the same time I can't stand people, who are not able to keep up with me (and as bad as this may sound, actually only very few can).
I can appreciate it, when somebody is not as good, but is trying. In our language we have such a saying that when you try hard, it is appreciated and it is true, I think. I even protect such people, take them under my wing, so to say, because I appreciate passion more than talent.
I am very sorry to admit to it, but when people can be divided between people who suffer and people who make them suffer, I would be rather the one making other people feel bad. I am not proud of it. It's not that I don't like people or want to make them suffer. I am just very spoiled, I need everything according to my wishes, my pace. In case somebody is not able to keep up, I am getting prickly.
I promised myself that I will never ever make people miserable again, yet I am doing it. I am not proud of it. I want to be more lenient towards people. I just forget that not everybody is as motivated or as strong as me. I don't want to hurt people. It makes me sad to see I haven't learned anything, that I am make people into victims of my (over)motivation. I want to be more relaxed, I want to be more patient with people, but I don't even know where to start. I don't want to think that I know the best, when I don't. Where does this damn need to prove myself come from?
I don't want to say it's just me, that's a poor and immature way out. I want to change, but I don't even know where to start......
I like to be with smart people, because it spurs me on, but at the same time I can't stand people, who are not able to keep up with me (and as bad as this may sound, actually only very few can).
I can appreciate it, when somebody is not as good, but is trying. In our language we have such a saying that when you try hard, it is appreciated and it is true, I think. I even protect such people, take them under my wing, so to say, because I appreciate passion more than talent.
I am very sorry to admit to it, but when people can be divided between people who suffer and people who make them suffer, I would be rather the one making other people feel bad. I am not proud of it. It's not that I don't like people or want to make them suffer. I am just very spoiled, I need everything according to my wishes, my pace. In case somebody is not able to keep up, I am getting prickly.
I promised myself that I will never ever make people miserable again, yet I am doing it. I am not proud of it. I want to be more lenient towards people. I just forget that not everybody is as motivated or as strong as me. I don't want to hurt people. It makes me sad to see I haven't learned anything, that I am make people into victims of my (over)motivation. I want to be more relaxed, I want to be more patient with people, but I don't even know where to start. I don't want to think that I know the best, when I don't. Where does this damn need to prove myself come from?
I don't want to say it's just me, that's a poor and immature way out. I want to change, but I don't even know where to start......