Prayer
Half of the year has passed. Two more days to go Independence Day.
Independence Day is a huge day for American.
There are fire works going on to celebrate Independence of America.
As long as I can remember the memories of Indepence Day..
'03 Fire works at Art Museum of Philly, '04 Pearl Jam's concert in NJ, '05 fire works in long island,
'06 staying home with mariko (?) '07 fire works in NJ.... What is my plan this year??
So far.. NOTHING... I will stay at my apt all weekend.
Last month, my sister came from Japan. I took three and a half off from work.
We went to Metropolitan museum, Fork art museum, Whiteney museum... and many other
places. She shopped a lot. I introduced some of my friends, my boss and co-worker to her.
I was glad she actually enjoyed everything she sees and experiences in NY.
On the same day she left, I met shichiko. he said that he was glad to see my sister and i have
a good relationship. I almost forget that we had a big fight almost two years ago and
how wonderful it is for her to visit me and hung out in NY together. he reminded me of that. I kinda touched.
Another happy thing. Last month, UBE's parent company wrote a letter for me and ayako-san.
Hope it would help us to get H3 visa. I don't know about H1B actually.
haven't heard from them for like a two month now... I almost gave it up.
Last night, i talked with a guy who likes me. I don't have any special feeing to him but
I always enjoy talking with him. But i started feeling guilty about him because i don't feel the same way and I
probably won't.
i know that he's stepping forward to me, and trying to make a decision because of me.
So, I kinda stopped him to try to involve me in his decision. We talked over the phone last night.
He said I am a nice person and he could get along with me. He could open up to me many things, but
he said he exposed himself too much.
what can I do?
I cannot give him what he wants from me. I am sorry. ki wo motaseta watashi ga warukatta..
he was so dissapointed with me. I should have said to him at the first note. no. i did.
I am not ready to date with anyone because I just went through a very hard breakup.
I think to myself.. what i want to do...
I still wish I could get back to shichiko. but I hurt him so badly.
I pray to the god for giving me a right way. I "hansei suru" and think about what
i should have done and should not have.. Learn from my mistakes. Don't be greedy.
Just appreciate what I have now. To be a good person, don't lie to anyone, be honest
to myself.