Apitosis (Part 1)
some cells are designated before creation, to die in order to shape the perfect, most efficient structure. i find this incredibly interesting. being created in order to die. we are created by our parents. as they were created by theirs. but WHY? are we created to die? ofcourse not. in the most basic sense, we are created to, CREATE. ahh, so we are here to ensure the survival of humanity. well that puts some people at a loss. i mean the human race doesnt really NEED me to procreate. the next guy will do it. so does that mean i am not required, but natural law, to exist? i mean there ARE alot of us out here. hmmm, so that must mean that i can focus on other things.. aha, so now i can focus on... the meaning of life? no.. i want to direct my focus on government. a tool for us to govern ourselves into a better future? or an organization to guide us into the brutal, yet strangely perfect future? neither? yeah maybe neither. or maybe something a bit more realistic, like, a system created for ourselves, by ourselves, whic kind of started to get too complicated for the masses, and became an internal machine, running off of internal decisions verified by the filtered truth fed to the masses? hmm who knows. they lead the way though. im sure even government had its share of apitosis. certain functions created solely for the purpose of destruction and failure. its an interesting concept. what if people were born like that. born solely to die. a meaningless life. what DO our lives mean these days. we...go to school... go to college... meet someone.. get a job... and have kids... watch TV.. raise children. why are these things what we are supposed to do? because they make the most sense. really? yes. oh. what if i dont want to have kids? then i guess i dont have to. what if i was just born to die, so that someone else can take my place, or something. im not afraid of dying, but...too many chemicals. far too many chemicals dictate our actions. society as well. having a penis means you fit in HERE, means yoiu act like THIS. what if i dont want to. what if i want to fit in wherever i please. no. no? i guess i cant do that. if i do, im strange.
life is no fun if we are all roses. some of us have to be dandelions.
dysfunctional reality? its her, shes talking again but no one will listen. denial is key.
its possible to deny a reality. people do it all the time, on a massive scale. denying certain things they do not want to accept. why is it wrong to do that? my reality differs from yours. the way that i see myself differs from the way that you see me, creating two me's. the me that you see, and the me that i see.
countless me's.
the reality that i deny is a universal reality. a reality on a larger scale. the places and people i meet, are part of what i deny. so what do i accept? filtered, sugared concepts of my own making. but it depends on what mood im in. i think god regrets creating us. i bet he hates us sometimes. he hates people like me. he hates wars i bet. there is an anxiety that follws me about sometimes. they gave me medication and it went away. maybe it shouldnt have gone away. maybe i should have looked into it, and through it, to learn whatever it was i had to learn. medication numbed me to a sense that i needed. TV numbs me too. if i am numbed does that mean i accept the universal reality, black and white, more easily. or does it mean that my reality has also been numbed and watered down.
i am created in the image of an indescribable power. i am the shadow of that being and that strength. is this possible? i am NOT a duplicate of this being, thus i cannot reach a status of omnipresence. at least not on that scale. what if a new reality could be created of my own making. suiting my desire to become a sexless, omnipotent presence, but on a smaller scale. well its always been mankinds dream to achieve godhood. its not something that can happen. but we create new realities everyday. little places that we can run off too, and hide. life, cannot be defined. but it is complimented by death.
death is the introduction to a new reality. one where you are free of physical bonds, where only your will and consciouness remain. such existence is incomprehensible. thought. thats what it would be like. thinking, you no longer ARE. you are now in the past tense. you WERE. this is a reality i do not deny at all. i welcome this thought. though, i am sure god is most dissapointed with me..
if i could shape this as i see fit, the only thing i would change would be myself.
life is no fun if we are all roses. some of us have to be dandelions.
dysfunctional reality? its her, shes talking again but no one will listen. denial is key.
its possible to deny a reality. people do it all the time, on a massive scale. denying certain things they do not want to accept. why is it wrong to do that? my reality differs from yours. the way that i see myself differs from the way that you see me, creating two me's. the me that you see, and the me that i see.
countless me's.
the reality that i deny is a universal reality. a reality on a larger scale. the places and people i meet, are part of what i deny. so what do i accept? filtered, sugared concepts of my own making. but it depends on what mood im in. i think god regrets creating us. i bet he hates us sometimes. he hates people like me. he hates wars i bet. there is an anxiety that follws me about sometimes. they gave me medication and it went away. maybe it shouldnt have gone away. maybe i should have looked into it, and through it, to learn whatever it was i had to learn. medication numbed me to a sense that i needed. TV numbs me too. if i am numbed does that mean i accept the universal reality, black and white, more easily. or does it mean that my reality has also been numbed and watered down.
i am created in the image of an indescribable power. i am the shadow of that being and that strength. is this possible? i am NOT a duplicate of this being, thus i cannot reach a status of omnipresence. at least not on that scale. what if a new reality could be created of my own making. suiting my desire to become a sexless, omnipotent presence, but on a smaller scale. well its always been mankinds dream to achieve godhood. its not something that can happen. but we create new realities everyday. little places that we can run off too, and hide. life, cannot be defined. but it is complimented by death.
death is the introduction to a new reality. one where you are free of physical bonds, where only your will and consciouness remain. such existence is incomprehensible. thought. thats what it would be like. thinking, you no longer ARE. you are now in the past tense. you WERE. this is a reality i do not deny at all. i welcome this thought. though, i am sure god is most dissapointed with me..
if i could shape this as i see fit, the only thing i would change would be myself.