(no subject)
I live a very routine life. Thankfully they changed the schedule of calls so that I am now waking up at 6 every morning as opposed to 5. I go to school. Get "beat" (trained). Do homework. Learn military knowledge. Do details. Somewhere in there fit sleep and start my day over. I am a robot.
I am a robot. But, I have personality. I do what I'm told, but at the same time seek ways around the rules. I need to get out on the weekends. I need to wear civilian clothing and snowboard or club, or just get out. I need to pretend that I am a normal college student on the weekends.
Only a month and a half until recognition. A month and a half left until I get that much closer to being "normal". In a month and a half I will be able to wear my backpack on my shoulders. I will be able to walk freely to class. I will be allowed to wear civilian clothes on weekends. I will have a first name.
I'm emotionally retarded. The women in my family say that I am the strongest female they know, that I am the strongest in the family. They have no idea. I just don't react to surprises or anything shocking like the normal person. I'm really not that strong.
I live in a bubble. I forget the world around me. I've lost contact with anyone and everyone from Orinda.
I've finally met someone, someone amazing. I don't know if it's worth waiting for or I will be able to wait.
That's life.