(no subject)
Teeheehee... i'm sad, i know... more random humour i stole and ammended off the 'net.
Things to do in an Elevator:
To a man, say "Joe, how have you been?", and carry on a conversation with him like you've known him forever.-
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa, The Great Chief, and begin telling stories of your native island.-
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.-
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.-
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"-
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.-
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.-
Shave.-
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.-
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.-
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.-
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.-
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.-
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"-
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"-
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.-
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.-
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.-
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.-
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.- (I have GOT to try tht one, just in the street...)
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.-
Leave a box between the doors.-
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.-
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.-
Start a sing-along.-
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"-
Play the harmonica.-
Shadow box.-
Say "Ding!" at each floor.- (Ok, please tell me i'm not the only person who's sad enough to have done tht before?)
Lean against the button panel.- (ditto - stupid enough)
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.-
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.-
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."-
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."-
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.-
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.-
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."-
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"-
Before you push a button, stare at it and say: "OK, Raymond... Let's go!"-
Draw a chalk outline of a person on the floor. When the other passengers enter, say, "Poor Danny, he was my best friend."-
Say, "See? That's the noise it made just before it fell last time!"-
Push all the buttons when people get on and say you can't decide which floor to go on.-
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper,"hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
Ok... i should really grow up some time. But hey, it'll happen soon enough, why not be immature while it lasts? (grins)
Ciao
Hannah
Things to do in an Elevator:
To a man, say "Joe, how have you been?", and carry on a conversation with him like you've known him forever.-
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa, The Great Chief, and begin telling stories of your native island.-
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.-
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.-
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"-
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.-
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.-
Shave.-
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.-
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.-
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.-
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.-
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.-
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"-
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"-
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.-
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.-
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.-
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.-
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.- (I have GOT to try tht one, just in the street...)
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.-
Leave a box between the doors.-
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.-
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.-
Start a sing-along.-
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"-
Play the harmonica.-
Shadow box.-
Say "Ding!" at each floor.- (Ok, please tell me i'm not the only person who's sad enough to have done tht before?)
Lean against the button panel.- (ditto - stupid enough)
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.-
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.-
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."-
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."-
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.-
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.-
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."-
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"-
Before you push a button, stare at it and say: "OK, Raymond... Let's go!"-
Draw a chalk outline of a person on the floor. When the other passengers enter, say, "Poor Danny, he was my best friend."-
Say, "See? That's the noise it made just before it fell last time!"-
Push all the buttons when people get on and say you can't decide which floor to go on.-
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper,"hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
Ok... i should really grow up some time. But hey, it'll happen soon enough, why not be immature while it lasts? (grins)
Ciao
Hannah